its me!!

[Helen]

got a few hours today to make up my mind about another place i found on friday. again another £900 up front !! £100 per week.
very quiet location but not far from main town and shops BUT no hot water and one small "holiday let " style electric fire !!
im sure you know the sort i mean, cos heating isnt needed very much in these places in the summer, the price per unit is bumped right up so they make some sort of profit out of it.
there is a cooker in it but the hot plates on the top are well rusty so i doubt its got much life left in it.
got ten days left here now, got to do something soon...................
i was well up for it on friday but have had the weekend to think about it and now the doubt has crept in again.
im wondering if thats all i can expect now. they do seem to trade on the fact im desperate for somewhere to live and that i wont get rid of my dog..............

on the other hand, all i have to do is give my freind money for petrol for a van to pick my stuff up, move up to devon and all MY problems will be solved.
my kids will disown me, already been told its about time i put my family first !! considering the thousands of pounds they all owe me, the work ive done on their houses and gardens and hours of baby sitting ive done over the years, i think thats a bit of a joke and now i need help, they cant be seen for dust !!

anybody got a magic wand ???.............................

[Helen]

well, im finally moving on tuesday.
was supposed to go yesterday but was expected to move in my 2hr break in my double shift at work, my youngest's friend was going to do it but when i said it was impossible, she was supposed to have given him my phone number so i could make other arrangements but he never called.
the oldest then said she knew someone who would do it but again, no one contacted me so ive had to pay out full price for a proper furniture removal firm.
ive got nothing to sit on when i get there and to top everything the building plans for here have to be submitted again so ive just been told i could have stayed here for at least another 2 months !!!
anyway this will be the last time for some while that i will be posting here or anywhere else for that matter, as i will no longer be on line.
thanks for the friendship, laughter, tears etc.
its been good to know you all xx

[Helen]

may 21st, 2009
back again at the chippy for the bank holiday, the most hectic of the season with a big car rally on sunday not yards from our door.
my boss has gone away for her 60th birthday so im baby sitting the shop and keeping her grandson company cos he dosnt like being here on his own.
been pretty busy for three days and its gonna get a whole lot busier.
the weather is brilliant and looks to continue.
the new place is working ok at the moment but im going easy on things like electric and water cos they are all on quarterly bills and ive not had to pay any of those for nearly four years, just hand over my rent and it was all taken care of for me.
it was pretty cold in there to start with cos i dont think it had been lived in for a while. laminated floors right through dont help much and the dog tip tapping about on them takes some getting used to
had all my hair chopped off, a bit like fern britton on gmtv. went to a darts presentation and no one recognized me til i went to pick up a trophy and they called my name out
ive lost a bit of weight with all the walking to work and back and ive got further to go to let the dog have a good run too.
trying to work out the best deal i can get to get back on line at the moment but until i can make sure i can make ends meet with everything else, its had to go on the back burner for a while.
didnt miss it too much when i first moved cos i had lots to do and ive even read a couple of books !! might be a different story when im back at home on monday lol
its quite odd being back in here, really feels like the last five weeks of my life havnt happened.......... and ive not been away at all.
if i get any time to myself i will be back on here to say hello to everyone, sorry ive done it this way for now.
must go to bed as its 12-35 am and ive got a long day tomorrow,

[Helen]

well we were far busier than we thought we would be, barely had time to eat, even with all that food around us
the weather has turned a bit and now expecting thunderstorms today !!
got all my stuff packed up again, got more spuds to do then if im a really lucky girl, i get the rest of the day and tomorrow off
certainly dont think i will be doing this, this time next year. its begining to get too much to cope with now. i can put up with peeling spuds OR being on the counter but not both any more. specially when faced with a load of drunken lads on a stag party, the temper started to get a bit frayed then
well, better put this away now and get on with it i suppose.
take care everyone xxxx

[Helen]

sunday,aug 30th 2009.

hi everyone, another bank holiday and im back at the chippy for a couple of days. now using my boss's pc cos i still havnt had mine fixed yet. the only time i managed to get it to the shop, they were shut !!!
the weather isnt too good, surprize surprize lol but at least it aint rainin !!

life goes on much the same as usual for me. the same old routine of work, sleep and dog walking.
ive just bought my first pair of size 16 jeans !!!! a size ive not been able to get into for what seems like a hundred years
im enjoying my new place and my independance and peace and quiet and its lovely to be able to cook proper meals at long last though i still have my fair share of stuff from work
going to have a wander round the site now and see whats been happening while ive been away....................
hope everyone is keeping well and happy xxxx

[Helen]

hi folks, finally back on line after 6 long months.
got time off work for a while as the fryer has broken down, it keeps going bang every time they turn it on
looks like a lot of it has got to be replaced so it could take a while.
the weather here is bootiful but chilly but i can put up with that. not much else happening really. back to playing darts again
this weekend is going to be a bit hard for me, it will be 4yrs since i lost my beloved barrie. my friend took me to put flowers on his grave last saturday and i was dismayed at the state of the place. obviously no one has been there for a very long while and it was such a mess. its a long way from me and i have no transport to get there.
what makes me even crosser is the fact his family made such an effort to keep me away and take everything he had and now cant be bothered to even and look after his last resting place but i guess thats families all over isnt it ??
well, dog walking time again so i guess i better get at it !!!

[Helen]

i truely dont think ive seen weather this bad for a long time. couldnt even get across the road this morning as the wind kept blowing us back and at one stage i had to grab hold of the wall to stop myself from falling over, not good when theres a whole hotel full of people,sittin next to the windows, havin their breckfast and watching me at the same time
the rain is coming down in sheets and as ive got a flat roof on my place, its like living inside a drum.

ive just realized im turning into my mum !! as im watching the rememberance service and humming along to the music as she once did........................

[Helen]

cant believe the change in the weather today, bright sunshine, NO WIND and people scraping ICE from their car windscreens first thing. ive done all my house work and washing which is outside drying !!
feeling a little angry this morning with a couple of freinds of mine......... one has had a bereavement, also his 14mth old grandaughter may have swine flu and i was phoned at midnite last nite to ask for advice. he has used my ever sagging shoulder to cry on all weekend, which of course i dont mind but today, ive heard nothing from him. ok, he must have things to do but surely some sort of aknowledgement wouldnt hurt.
the other is someone who i know fulwell has used me to get to an ex of hers, because hes a good friend of mine. when she found out i knew him, she befriended me and couldnt do enuff for me.
stupid fool that i am, i have lent her money, only a few pounds, ive fed her and put petrol in her car.
now she has finally come to realize this guy wants nothing to do with her, its actually ME hes interested in and she cant believe he would, in her words, give up someone younger and more stunning to be with me.
yes, you are all right, i dont need someone in my life like that and the fact she hasnt contacted me for a couple of days cos shes found something better to do now is just going to make it easier for me to break contact with her !!
trouble is,lonelyness is a hard thing to combat and even her company at times is better than nothing at all

[Helen]

this seems to be turning into the weather channel rather than my journal
i was looking out of my window, just watching the rain and a huge flash of lightening shot across the sky, i dont know who jumped the highest, me or the poor dog !!
my little flat is sheltered behind other buildings so it didnt seem to be so bad, however i filled a flask with boiling water and found some candles, just in case the power went, which it did in some places so i was lucky.
finally got the dog out for a proper walk this afternoon and although it had calmed down a lot by then, the sea was still pretty spectacular to look at.

ive not wasted my days indoors, i have now finally sent off to auction, the last few bits that belonged to my late partner. its been four years now and i feel ready to do it. having only one bedroom here, things were a little cramped and ive now been able to rearange my bedroom furniture and make it look a little more homely.
ive had an early bath and pj night, accompanied by by a cream cake and some sweeties and i shall have an early night, work again tomorrow
sposed to be a better day,weatherwise, tomorrow................ we shall see.