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    Talking College Essay on Hell

    HELL!!

    The following is supposedly an actual question given on the University of
    Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so
    "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
    which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
    heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
    cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
    to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
    they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
    to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
    Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that
    if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
    belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
    in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
    the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
    temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has
    to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
    Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    We accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
    that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take
    into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must
    be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
    over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
    that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving
    only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
    why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
    -
    We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
    Aristotle

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    Re: College Essay on Hell

    PMSL..

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    Re: College Essay on Hell

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    Absolutely brilliant! Will be sending this to a few friends.

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