Why Don't I Fall Apart?

[venus]

Hunni like its been said, you stayed strong because you were needed.
Everyone acts in their own way to grief and this can differ from time to time.

She needed you and you were thare that says it all

[Valerie100]

Floppy, death is sad no matter what. There were two people in my life that when they died, I couldn't cry. My ex-husband's grandmother and my own grandmother, neither of which, I was very close to, or even felt close to. Don't worry, it's normal. It just depends on where your feelings are for the person. If you never had any feelings for the person in the first place, obviously, it's not necessary that you cry about them.

Originally Posted by Valerie100

Floppy, death is sad no matter what. There were two people in my life that when they died, I couldn't cry. My ex-husband's grandmother and my own grandmother, neither of which, I was very close to, or even felt close to. Don't worry, it's normal. It just depends on where your feelings are for the person. If you never had any feelings for the person in the first place, obviously, it's not necessary that you cry about them.

Except that it doesn't seem to matter whether I cared for them or not. Everyone around me seems to go into emotional overload, and I shut down.

I got back to work today and had everyone in the building stopping by with the bad news, and everyone had tears in their eyes.. after the third one, I just wanted to tell them you're too late, you weren't the first to tell me, go try someone else..instead i just said yep i know, and continued on with my work. And I remain the cold unemotional 'me' they've all come to know..

Except I'm not. I really liked this woman. She was wonderful and accepted me, no questions, no pretense..she made the best roast beef and she always made extra for that lady down at her daughters work who loved it so much. Got my own box of cookies every xmas. Knitted blankets for my baby..And never asked for a thing from me in return, just that I allow her to accept me..

Originally Posted by flopstock

Except that it doesn't seem to matter whether I cared for them or not. Everyone around me seems to go into emotional overload, and I shut down.

I got back to work today and had everyone in the building stopping by with the bad news, and everyone had tears in their eyes.. after the third one, I just wanted to tell them you're too late, you weren't the first to tell me, go try someone else..instead i just said yep i know, and continued on with my work. And I remain the cold unemotional 'me' they've all come to know..

Except I'm not. I really liked this woman. She was wonderful and accepted me, no questions, no pretense..she made the best roast beef and she always made extra for that lady down at her daughters work who loved it so much. Got my own box of cookies every xmas. Knitted blankets for my baby..And never asked for a thing from me in return, just that I allow her to accept me..

Flop, I'm the same. Stoic, very stoic. I can close off in a second, at the drop of an eyelid. I can be cold, ice cold, and mean. Lord I can be the coldest most stubborn man in a second.

But it caught up with me when my mother died. Oh I was strong, had to be for the family, for my dad. At the time. But today I looked at Valaries fudge recipe, and the darn tears started flowing.. cause my mom made the best peanut butter fudge in the whole world.

There will be a time. Ya got too much on your plate, you do everything, you havnt made time for these things yet. I think your so busy trying to take care of your kid and your man that your not giving yourself time to think deeply. I say this because of your other recent thread regarding your child/kid time.

Love ya Flop, But honey ya got to slow down a bit and make sure you feel life too.

I may be way off here, but I dont think so. I'm at least partially right.

Originally Posted by Far Rider

Flop, I'm the same. Stoic, very stoic. I can close off in a second, at the drop of an eyelid. I can be cold, ice cold, and mean. Lord I can be the coldest most stubborn man in a second.

But it caught up with me when my mother died. Oh I was strong, had to be for the family, for my dad. At the time. But today I looked at Valaries fudge recipe, and the darn tears started flowing.. cause my mom made the best peanut butter fudge in the whole world.

There will be a time. Ya got too much on your plate, you do everything, you havnt made time for these things yet. I think your so busy trying to take care of your kid and your man that your not giving yourself time to think deeply. I say this because of your other recent thread regarding your child/kid time.

Love ya Flop, But honey ya got to slow down a bit and make sure you feel life too.

I may be way off here, but I dont think so. I'm at least partially right.

What scares me right now FR, is that our personalities are similar enough that you just may be right for a change...

Originally Posted by flopstock

What scares me right now FR, is that our personalities are similar enough that you just may be right for a change...

Do you like cats? And if so how do you prepare them?

[annie58]

Hi Floppy

When my first husband was alive he was my rock and I didn't need to be strong because he was the shoulder for me to lean on or cry on.

When he passed away things changed. He passed on all his strength to me. I didn't cry at his funeral, but was strong for my 2 children & the one that I was carrying. I had to be strong for his mother & sister. This was 10 years ago. My brother died 8 years ago but I also didn't cry then. My father passed away 6 years ago and I had to be strong for my mother & sister.

Now this seems like I'm not emotional but I am. When I see a certain film or hear a certain piece of music I will start blubbering away. When I think of my hubby on my own I will cry until I'm satiated. I don't cry easily in front of people because deep down inside me I have to be strong for my children & my second hubby. I know that when my mother passes away (hopefully not for a long time yet - she's 85) I know I will have to be strong for my sister & my hubby because he loves my mum to bits.

Everyone deals with the passing of someone in their own way. Not everyone breaks down or throws themselves on the floor. Don't worry. Your grief will come when you least expect it but don't hide it, let it flow naturally.

Love, light & blessings

Annie

[.:TWIZTIDlMANSON:.]

i never cry when someone dies... idk i think it depends on the person i mean by the time i was 10 i went to tons of fuerals and since i was 14 i never cried when i heard of them dying or when i go to the funeral.....

Originally Posted by annie58

Hi Floppy

When my first husband was alive he was my rock and I didn't need to be strong because he was the shoulder for me to lean on or cry on.

When he passed away things changed. He passed on all his strength to me. I didn't cry at his funeral, but was strong for my 2 children & the one that I was carrying. I had to be strong for his mother & sister. This was 10 years ago. My brother died 8 years ago but I also didn't cry then. My father passed away 6 years ago and I had to be strong for my mother & sister.

Now this seems like I'm not emotional but I am. When I see a certain film or hear a certain piece of music I will start blubbering away. When I think of my hubby on my own I will cry until I'm satiated. I don't cry easily in front of people because deep down inside me I have to be strong for my children & my second hubby. I know that when my mother passes away (hopefully not for a long time yet - she's 85) I know I will have to be strong for my sister & my hubby because he loves my mum to bits.

Everyone deals with the passing of someone in their own way. Not everyone breaks down or throws themselves on the floor. Don't worry. Your grief will come when you least expect it but don't hide it, let it flow naturally.

Love, light & blessings

Annie

Ever wonder if we are so strong for others in need because we are afraid we'll shatter if we give ourselves an inch to let go? I'm the same way with movies, BTW.. I won't watch ones with sad endings because I have no way to help the characters...

It's just so much easier in my head to be a shoulder to someone else then it is to search for a shoulder, ya know?

I'm really sorry I missed this earlier..

and welcome aboard, if I didn't say it somewhere else..

hugs
diane

Originally Posted by .:TWIZTIDlMANSON:.

i never cry when someone dies... idk i think it depends on the person i mean by the time i was 10 i went to tons of fuerals and since i was 14 i never cried when i heard of them dying or when i go to the funeral.....

So, what do you do? How do you react?