What people think

[PurpleChicken]

I also used to spend a lot of time worrying what other people think of me. And at times I still do. But Santanico has hit the nail right on the head. You have to be the best apple you can be.

Easier said than done, I know, and I think getting to the point at which you know that you are an apple and are comfortable in that can be difficult. But if you aren't happy in yourself, then other people will see right through it. And don't forget that it takes so much more energy trying to be someone you're not. Much better to invest that energy in yourself - being the best than you can be.

Anyone who doesn't like apples, can hang out with the other fruits!

[Patsy Warnick]

Happy Gram

Don't avoid or run from a situation or decision due to opinion.

This is where you become strong and stand for what you believe in your life.
not what others believe your life should become..

Get out there - make mistakes & learn from the good & bad & ugly..
Watch body language - it's a great indicator where one stands without saying a word..

The older one gets - the less one worries about what others think/grade/judge you.

Find yourseld - Be yourself

Patsy

[pantsonfire321@aol.com]

Don't be worried about what people think ..its their loss . People often make assumptions ..thats their mistake . Be honest ..don't hurt people and love yourself ...good luck .

[jimbo]

no matter what buddy some people will like you

and no matter what some people will hate you


i try never to be nasty i try never to offend people i try to cheer up people where ever i can and guess what some people hate me , i know what your thinking how can that be but i swear its true


the other side of the coin is i know someone who is nasty morbid just too horrible for words and you know what some people like them


so i guess you is what you is just go with the flow


the only person that really matters if they like you is....you thats right if you know you are a good person that is all that matters

[WonderWendy3]

Great advice already, don't think I can add anything else, except my opinion that goes along with many others....be true to yourself, and don't let others pull you down.

I am a very sensitive person (believe it or not) and when I hear or read things that people say/said about me, it bothers me for days and days, but eventually I get over it and move on...so I understand that its easier said than done to say, "don't let anyone bother you with what they think".... but as Patsy said, as you get older, it does get easier...honest....

There will always be people you hit it off with and people you don't, and it sounds to me like you've had some self-worth issues because of your past, which might have made it harder for you to shrug off any negativity. However, just remember that the past is in the past, and what happened wasn't your fault.

Only you have the power to let someone affect you negatively, and you have the choice of being happy or not despite anyone else. Unfortunately, there are people out there who will feed off of your uncertainty and fuel it even more because it makes them feel better. The best thing you can do is to tell them to push off!

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, just your opinion. Forget the bad opinions and remember the good ones!

[sofemme]

Hi Happy,
You have gotten some good advice here. There really isn't much to add but I have a couple of tricks that work for me. My problem is not being able to defend myself when I think others are being ugly, or their way off base in what they think I said, etc....you get the picture. When I have a meeting and the attitude of the person behind the desk sucks....i tend to feel off balance and threatened. I worry about saying the wrong thing or coming off like a heifer or worse...look like an idiot.

I realized that I was my own worst enemy in that I can kick myself harder and put myself down better than ANYBODY else. I had loops of thought that would run over and over in my mind......your stupid...they're gonna laugh at you...they'll hate you....who the hell do you think you're foolin'....and so on....many were a lot worse. Anyway....I read it in a book somewhere and tweaked it to fit me.lol

Be conscious of what you are thinking....when you catch yourself thinking poorly about You....touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth and mentally yell, "Stop", as loud as you can in your mind. Then picture yourself giving the person that is causing your discomfort a raspberry.....or you smiling at them and saying, "F**k you...have a nice day....or grab them by the ears and kiss 'em"..... It helps to break the tension of the situation for the moment so you can handle whatever is going on with intelligence and your own personal charm.

You can teach yourself to derail your worry before it gets out of hand but it takes being consciously aware of your thoughts. It ain't easy....but when you think you need a lecture you can always fuss at yourself in the bathroom mirror when you're alone.....just be sure to give yourself pep talks too.

One more thing....if you want whatever it is that you are doing to go a certain way.....dress for it. Put on whatever makes you feel the most confident and go strut your stuff. Always smile....no matter what....people are less likely to be as guarded when faced with a smile or they may think your nuts and it'll make them worry. lol Hang in there.

[Skylar]

Originally Posted by Happy Gram

Hi all.....
I've struggled for years..... over people's reactions to things.... most certainly from my highly critical mother and sister who were abusive to me..... my question is: how does one get over thinking and caring (and obsessing) what people think of you... your choices, etc.... I literally avoid any situation that might make me be judged or ridiculed... but it makes for a tough existence... any thoughts, ideas?

I always ask myself if I'm going to care in 100 years what anyone thinks of me. Nope. So why should I care now? Lifes too short.

and if you second guess their thoughts, you'd probly be wrong. and if they out right tell you, tell then to take a flying leap and screw off.

[southern yankee]

I think when i was young it mattered more then it does now. Now i have become a little selfish. I want to do, say, and be what makes me happy.. Time is too short to worry about what people think. but it took many years to get there. i had wonderful parents. but my peers and my teachers who were nuns. were very cruel to me. i felt almost all my life. i was not good enough. Now i think back all the years i waisted. but not anymore.

[nok]

A lot of people that know me tell me that I'm eccentric and very strange because I don't talk like other people ( I express my own viewpoints even when others' don't think the way I think), I don't dress like other people ( I have my own style. I don't " follow" fashion but most people do. ), and I don't act like other people ( I don't go with the flow. I go on my " own flow". )

Everytime someone tells me I'm wierd because I'm not like everyone else, I always think, " Why should I be like everyone else ? What is the purpose of that (really ?) I can't be like everyone else because I'm not them. I'm me ! I can only be me, not someone else. "

As for what people think of you ( especially when it's negative), I guess the only advice that I can give you is to love yourself. Just tell yourself that these negative people have a problem and you're not ( NOT !) going to let their problem be your problem because they're just not worth it.