I'm in a mess.....

[sunny104]

Woppy, sending you lots of hugs and prayers.

I agree with everyone here too. Maybe look at making some small changes. You never know what could help. And stay on your meds if they help. We wouldn't think twice about taking care of any other body part but we get a bit weird when it comes to our brain.

And it helps getting things out, so talk to us anytime ok?? We're here for you.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by woppy71

Well, I've never posted anything like this before on here, but I feel as I've been around here, on and off for a few years now, I now feel comfortable with getting this out in the open.

For the last five years or so, I've suffered with depression of varying degrees of seriousness from mild to moderate, but I have just been diagnosed today with severe depression and have been put back on the medication (Fluoxetine) that I was originally taking three years ago.

The medication did help the first time around, mainly with feelings of extreme anxiety. It also helped with the feelings of uslessness and sadness, but after six months I felt as though I was getting better, so I came of the meds. that lasted for about a year, then I went back on to it fortwo months, but again stopped when I thought I was better. I also had some councelling at the time, which helped my with my anxiety.

So, about a year and a half on from that now and I am all over the place. Depression, anxiety, emptiness, mood swings, infact I fell so messed up that I wouldn't know where to start in describing how I feel. I feel so anxious about going to work, even though I have one of the easiest jobs you coukld wish for ( I work nights, which is really quiet). I get bored at work very easily.

I have very great difficulties in concentrating on anything for very long and also find it hard to stick at things for any length of time. I have been told by various people that I am very intelligent and I suppose I do have a way with "getting to grips" with difficult stuff or concepts.

I often seek quick fixes to make me happy, such as spending money (which we havn't got) on things, which make me feel better, for a short period of time.

The very, VERY worst thins is that I am nasty to my family some times. Not pyshically or vindictive, i just lose my temper and sometimes say things I don't mean or I am overly critical. That breaks my heart as I love my wife and my son so much and I dont want things to get worse and they leave me. My god, I wish I knew where to start.

I don't feel suicidle, I never have, but the feelings of despair sometimes are hard to bare.

Thanks for listening.

Woppy! Dude if you need to talk, You come to the right place. There are some fine folks on board here that will try and help you as much as we can. Hang in there and like I said we are all here for you.

[along-for-the-ride]

As you have noticed by reading the above posts, we do care, woppy. Good advice has been given here. You are not alone.

[woppy71]

Thank you all for the wonderfull words you have given me, I'm sorry I havn't replied sooner, I am at work and using a friends laptop. I will write a proper post when I finish and get home in the morning.

Thank you all!!

[koan]

My ex-husband has clinical depression so I know how debilitating it can be.

You got lots of good advice and comments here. I just wanted to add, about feeling bad when you are hard on your wife and/or kid, that it really helps if you make a point of apologising whenever it becomes apparent to you that you snapped or treated them unfairly and let them know you realise it was you and not them. Even if it's a week after it happens, it's never too late to remind them how much you love them.

Best wishes for finding the healing path that works for you.

[woppy71]

I have now got two days off and it has been a six days almost since I went to see the doctor. I am now back on the medication that worked for me in the past and I have vowed not to come off it until the time is right. I've also been referred for councelling and am now waiting for my first appointment to be arranged.

I'm not sure that I'm looking forward to the councelling, but I'm also sure that it will be a help to me. Talking about the way I feel has always been very difficult for me, I suppose you could say that I have a very 'closed' personality. I know that that is one of the things I want to change or need to change in order to get better.

I also now realise that the road to recovery is a long one, but I know that I need to take one small step at a time.

I know a lot of you suggested that I change jobs, but that is something that I am unable to consider at the moment as we cannot afford for me to do so for the next eighteen months or so. I am hoping that my councillor will be able to help me cope better with the situations at work which affect me the most, so hopefully things will get better at work as time goes on.

You have all been a wonderfull and patient bunch and you certainly have given me some things to think about - Than you!

Gary

[Patsy Warnick]

AAAHHH Woopy
I find this as good news, and in the right/positive direction.

Easily to be uncomfortable talking to a stranger - maybe it'll be easier for you to focus on a object in the office - instead of the counselor's face.
Or maybe closing your eye's will help.?
As soon as your comfortable - the quicker the results.

Good luck my friend
Patsy

[Milly]

Wonderful news Woppy, you recognised you needed help and you went out and got it...

A bloody MAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSIVE pat on the back for you babe!

Stay strong, stay positive and stay focused on where you need to be babes - You'll get there!

[jimbo]

i must say wopster you are a lot braver than me , i have a deep feel of not trusting doctors ,every time i see them they tell my i am depressed i say no i am not ,they offer me drugs i refuse to take them


its only since the pains in my body that i have had to open up and tell him a few things .... the look of i told you you were ill is almost to much for me to stand


but i'm taking a leaf out of your book for my family's sake 'm going to go along with what this quack ... i mean doctor says


well done mate i read your thread and a few alarm bells waaaay off in the darkest reccess of my fragile mind went off and i thought maybe i need help to .. thanks

[Milly]

Good for you too Jimbo.... it's hard to bite the bullet and admit to yourself let alone anyone else that you might need some help, but now that you have..... hopefully this is your first step foward into a better future....