I'm in a mess.....

[woppy71]

Well, I've never posted anything like this before on here, but I feel as I've been around here, on and off for a few years now, I now feel comfortable with getting this out in the open.

For the last five years or so, I've suffered with depression of varying degrees of seriousness from mild to moderate, but I have just been diagnosed today with severe depression and have been put back on the medication (Fluoxetine) that I was originally taking three years ago.

The medication did help the first time around, mainly with feelings of extreme anxiety. It also helped with the feelings of uslessness and sadness, but after six months I felt as though I was getting better, so I came of the meds. that lasted for about a year, then I went back on to it fortwo months, but again stopped when I thought I was better. I also had some councelling at the time, which helped my with my anxiety.

So, about a year and a half on from that now and I am all over the place. Depression, anxiety, emptiness, mood swings, infact I fell so messed up that I wouldn't know where to start in describing how I feel. I feel so anxious about going to work, even though I have one of the easiest jobs you coukld wish for ( I work nights, which is really quiet). I get bored at work very easily.

I have very great difficulties in concentrating on anything for very long and also find it hard to stick at things for any length of time. I have been told by various people that I am very intelligent and I suppose I do have a way with "getting to grips" with difficult stuff or concepts.

I often seek quick fixes to make me happy, such as spending money (which we havn't got) on things, which make me feel better, for a short period of time.

The very, VERY worst thins is that I am nasty to my family some times. Not pyshically or vindictive, i just lose my temper and sometimes say things I don't mean or I am overly critical. That breaks my heart as I love my wife and my son so much and I dont want things to get worse and they leave me. My god, I wish I knew where to start.

I don't feel suicidle, I never have, but the feelings of despair sometimes are hard to bare.

Thanks for listening.

[CARLA]

Sounds like staying on medication is the key for you. I know its hard sometimes to consider being on meds forever, but they server a purpose for you that seems to make your depression workable. Don't beat yourself up over this its a fact of life for many people. Just take care of yourself and your lovely wife and son.

[Odie]

Depression and anxiety are the worst...........I have been on anti-depressans for over 17 years now.....switching every 2 years because my system got used to the same one and no longer did any good.

Once you are diagnosed...............you really should stay on your meds because of the medical imbalance..........it will always be there.

Even at some of my simpliest jobs..........I had felt anxious, tons of anxiety, the same as you............I could never relax at any of the easier ones.

There are lots of anti-depressants that are also anxiety help as well, you can check them out by googling anti-depressants.

They all have side effects, some you may never have,

I have found that exercise does relax me, so I walk at least 30 minutes per day and try and eat healthy...........and there are tons of foods that can help with depression.

Even before I go to bed, I must be totally relaxed or I cannot sleep, often leading to not sleeping well, which in turn, losing sleep makes you even more depressed............so try and get at least a good 7-8 hours per night.

It is the toughest thing I have had to fight with, I cannot make plans to go out usually until that day arrives.............it all depends on how I feel!

I have cancelled many a family outing because of my nerves.

Give these new pills at least 4, if you feel like they are not doing you any good, ask for the dosage to be increased and so on.

I call this disease fighting the dragon.



If you ever need to further talk, please pm or email me.

[Lon]

Originally Posted by woppy71

Well, I've never posted anything like this before on here, but I feel as I've been around here, on and off for a few years now, I now feel comfortable with getting this out in the open.

For the last five years or so, I've suffered with depression of varying degrees of seriousness from mild to moderate, but I have just been diagnosed today with severe depression and have been put back on the medication (Fluoxetine) that I was originally taking three years ago.

The medication did help the first time around, mainly with feelings of extreme anxiety. It also helped with the feelings of uslessness and sadness, but after six months I felt as though I was getting better, so I came of the meds. that lasted for about a year, then I went back on to it fortwo months, but again stopped when I thought I was better. I also had some councelling at the time, which helped my with my anxiety.

So, about a year and a half on from that now and I am all over the place. Depression, anxiety, emptiness, mood swings, infact I fell so messed up that I wouldn't know where to start in describing how I feel. I feel so anxious about going to work, even though I have one of the easiest jobs you coukld wish for ( I work nights, which is really quiet). I get bored at work very easily.

I have very great difficulties in concentrating on anything for very long and also find it hard to stick at things for any length of time. I have been told by various people that I am very intelligent and I suppose I do have a way with "getting to grips" with difficult stuff or concepts.

I often seek quick fixes to make me happy, such as spending money (which we havn't got) on things, which make me feel better, for a short period of time.

The very, VERY worst thins is that I am nasty to my family some times. Not pyshically or vindictive, i just lose my temper and sometimes say things I don't mean or I am overly critical. That breaks my heart as I love my wife and my son so much and I dont want things to get worse and they leave me. My god, I wish I knew where to start.

I don't feel suicidle, I never have, but the feelings of despair sometimes are hard to bare.

Thanks for listening.

You mention getting bored at your night job and I see from your profile that you are a Licensed Guard. Do you work with others or are you pretty much alone with your job? Is it possible that your boring and quiet job contributes to your depression? Perhaps a career change is in order, something that will challenge you and put your mind to work. Have you been diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)? Does sound like the meds were helping you Whoppy, maybe you should stay on them. Hope you get better.

[Odie]

the night shift is the hardest shift they say, you are sleep depribed.............and never seem to know which day it is.

hubby left for work tonight Tuesday, but will return home Wednesday, it can screw with your mind.............I for I, could never do it.

how about reading at work, play on the computer, right letters, do crosswords, bring in a gameboy.............keeping busy is important going thru depression..............to many hours to think and dwell, makes it worse.

Hello, I'm new here. But can I ask you a few questions? I'm not a professional or anything.

Are you the soul and ultimate decision maker in your life?

Have you accepted all the unchangeables in your life?

[Patsy Warnick]

Wopp

Naturally you need meds in some capasity .

So - now you need to look at like style.
bored during your one job.? isolation ??

you may want to consider job hunting - a job in which your very compassionate about.? eliminate USELESS & Sad & more depressed..
example:
Photography? Graphic Arts? Boy's club ?

You need to be busy - interaction always. I think you'll beam with pride in a field/ postion of your interest.
Everyone needs to be needed dear...


Patsy

[guppy]

wopp..i have no anwers or advice..just a great big ole cyber hug



((((((((((((((((((((((((((Woppy))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))

[cars]

Wop, you recieved plenty of excellent advice from your Fg friends here, and you seem to know the right things to do to help yourself. Don't be too proud to take the necessary meds to keep you stable. It's nothing to be ashamed of, as you have a chemical imbalance in your body, and your body needs the meds to keep working properly. So please continue to take your meds, you cannot and must not stop. You'll be happy, your wife will be happy, and your son will be happy! Everybody wins!!!
Good Luck, & Best Wishes!!!

[Odie]

some have suggested a change in jobs..............this will also help you, a day job, but something different where you are not so bored.


I know when I work, I am much more confident, upbeat, active and really enjoy going to work, its talking with people and making myself feel important...............that really does it!