Who here has a mental illness?

[AussiePam]

I only just saw this thread this morning . Ah Clodhopper, so sorry!! You deserve so much better. I'm sending you a heap of positive thoughtwaves. Reckon you're attitude is spot on about keeping laughing and crawling forward.

I've found - like you have too - that taking a long walk in the countryside can massively lighten the psyche. So can music.

And Raven's suggestion of writing a diary !!!

[shelbell]

Originally Posted by AussiePam

I only just saw this thread this morning . Ah Clodhopper, so sorry!! You deserve so much better. I'm sending you a heap of positive thoughtwaves. Reckon you're attitude is spot on about keeping laughing and crawling forward.

I've found - like you have too - that taking a long walk in the countryside can massively lighten the psyche. So can music.

And Raven's suggestion of writing a diary !!!

Some great ideas on here clodhopper...I should listen to them too.

[Raven]

Originally Posted by hoppy

Don't know if I'm sick or not but I find myself avoiding people. I cross the street to keep from passing people, if I can. I enter and leave my building through the parking garage usually. Make excuses when I'm invited anywhere. Even to relatives homes. Don't encourage visitors. Being around people makes me uncomfortable. My daughters say I'm just being a crabby old fart.

Dunno Hops. I'm thinking it's just us older ones. Starting to isolate ourselves because the younger world just doesnt make sense anymore.
It's violent, rude, hostile and totally alien. I dont like going out either, and I find myself making hubby do the small errands so I dont have to. I find it harder to leave my front door anymore. But I know I'm not ill. Nothing wrong with not liking what society is turning itself into.

[Earl Purple]

I am aspie. And my wife is bi-polar. And my son is Downy. Whole family of it here...

[mikeinie]

I didn't before I joined here....

[YZGI]

Originally Posted by mikeinie

I didn't before I joined here....

Ditto, now I'm starting to wonder.

[Odie]

Originally Posted by mikeinie

I didn't before I joined here....

perhaps this will help!

[Clodhopper]

AussiePam, shelbell, Raven: Thanks for the kind thoughts.

I've been unlucky in some ways, but it's still a beautiful world. Yesterday was sunshine and showers and a small tree in my garden, totally bare of leaves, was diamond covered with raindrops refracting in sudden sun. breathtaking in suburbia!

And, of course, I'm English. The Pinnacle of Creation.

I found I had some good friends and - let it be said - my wife could have made the divorce much worse. We avoided the courts. I live by renting a few rooms. My health is pretty good (touch wood) and my time is my own. Oh my, it could be much, much worse!

Emotional damage is real. It affects me in my everyday behaviour and the way I view the world and much of it isn't nice. Perhaps the main reason I empathise with Autistics is that like them I view the world in a not-quite-standard-way. This is not something I would be without and if the price is my life to date - so be it.

Be nice if the England Rugby team were playing better, though. Reckon those All Blacks are going to give us a right royal stuffing.

[Robert J]

Originally Posted by Clodhopper

Someone who is (unfortunately) rather more important to me than I am to her suffered from bipolar depression. When my wife left, my friend (who was also my ex-wife's oldest friend) ended her friendship with my ex. Since then she has never had a bout of the bad stuff - this is now about ten years. Tells you somethig about what an expert manipulator my ex-wife was. I had seen some of the signs, but I was in love and a fool. I believed my wife's explanations...

My sisters think I have Asperger's. Actually, I suffer from very low self-esteem and self-confidence as a result of a violent and domineering mother and a wife who used me as a lesbian's alibi. I have no problems with homosexuality - love is love - but she married me intending to divorce me when it suited. I loved her with the passion of a first love and have not yet recovered from the effects of having that shat on. I now find it very difficult to trust, and run a mile if anyone shows an interest. Equally, I find I am only interested in women it is very, very unlikely will be interested in me.

On the other hand, although I was ground down to a tightly curled knot, almost invisible, I have never lost the ability to laugh at the world and its follies as well as me and mine.

Sh*t has happened and will continue to happen, but I'm still here and still laughing and tomorrow I will move forward, even if it's only a millimetre and even if I can't get off my knees.

I just now noticed this thread.

It's funny, CH, you seem so intuitive about relationships with the excellent advise you've so generously offered up to me in another thread. And based on the elegance and style with which you present yourself, if some smart woman doesn't grab you, I just might fly to the UK and chase you down myself.

Seriously though, when I experienced the unfortunate event of infidelity in my marriage it was devastating for a good 2 years. For the first 7 months to the day i could not function as my kids watched the strongest man they had known crumble into a pile of sawdust before them. I found that forgiveness is a conscious choice, but I also had a wife that was so sorry and contrite that the outward appearance of her shame was as obvious as my pain. Unfortunately, you and so many others have not had that benefit, and I'm so sorry for you and them.

Now its my turn to offer you some advice, and that is to take a chance on a person you consider least likely to possess what you need, not for a serious relationship, but for the purpose to go on the hunt again (as my son calls it). Could be that you need to let your ex know, even though she may never really know that you've healed and she possess no more power over you. You'll never get completely over the betrayal but you can put it in a place that will only present itself to you on your terms, not its or hers. You survived and you need to appreciate the fact that you have that strength.

Become playful with women again, welcome your wit and intelligence once again into your being, its dying to smile through you.

As for the aspie -- hey bro!!

[Robert J]

Originally Posted by hoppy

Don't know if I'm sick or not but I find myself avoiding people. I cross the street to keep from passing people, if I can. I enter and leave my building through the parking garage usually. Make excuses when I'm invited anywhere. Even to relatives homes. Don't encourage visitors. Being around people makes me uncomfortable. My daughters say I'm just being a crabby old fart.

This often happens to me as well, Hoppy. It seems the more I isolate myself, the more I want to be isolated, and isolation is fine if one enjoys being alone. However, the fact that you and I are here on this forum with all these other wonderful people at least offers very strong hope to us that we really do enjoy company too.

You've got so much to offer people. You're intelligent and funny and probably so much more than that.

What I've been learning lately now that I have accepted who I am, is that I'm so much more comfortable in my skin. I've been taking my virtual personality back out to the street again where it originated and am seeing that most people respond positively when I engage them in conversation and good cheer.

As I've become older, I look at myself in photos and am amazed at not only the advanced aged looks I now adorn, but my weight fluctuates so much and when I think I'm looking heavy, I tend to isolate myself more. I have to get comfortable with my appearance or else I'll wither away in the RW, and my family deserves better than that from me.

Good Luck!!