Make these ads go away.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Social group for special needs, could I do better?

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    is Using Cyberlink Power Director for now
     
    I am:
    Sad
     
    Aura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    413
    Local Date
    06-20-2018
    Local Time
    08:52 AM
    Points
    1,796

    Question Social group for special needs, could I do better?

    Please excuse me if this sounds a bit garbled, but I have edited this several times before posting. I hope this is the right forum

    I'm in a social group based in Salisbury in Wiltshire. When I first joined it was brilliant. This is is a social group for people with mental health issues, disabled and people with learning difficulties.

    I have Aspbergers so the group was ideal at the time because the woman who used to be in charge was easy to talk to. She has since left because the two new members of staff we took on caused a lot of upset, and many people began dropping out. Ten years later I'm still with lifestyles because without them I couldn't go to some of the places we have visited.

    The group gave me the confidence to travel and get 'out there'. We have in the past been to some fantastic places like the Isle of Wight, Cadburys World in Birmingham etc. There is only a handful of people left now in Lifestyles, it's a bit like ‘same old same old’ (if you get what I mean)

    At the time of it's creation, the social group was a very good idea, but the two member of staff (can't mention names) have run it into the ground over the years and it's just become, stale. We used to have disco's on Valentines day and at Christmas, we haven't had one for years but I don't miss it anyway.

    The problem is that the two members of staff (one male, one female) are just not suited to deal with anyone with mental health let alone special needs. Many people I know might disagree with me, let me explain one thing.

    I am with another group which is a rescue and resilience team who treat me as part of the gang which is great as it boosts my confidence. I'm encouraged to take photos of the training exercises etc. Only thing is my confidence is very low so when we go to the pub, I don't say a lot as I'm worried I'll embarrass myself.

    In the social group, the 2 members off staff seem to only focus on what's 'wrong' with me and are both sarcastic and patronising, therefore their view is ‘I have special needs, I must be thick as a plank’. They also seem to get irritated as if they don’t want to be there, my dad says their only in it for the money and nothing else.

    I also can’t talk to the female member of staff like the predecessor, as suddenly I realise she’s not listening to me, or I’m being ignored.

    I’ve thought long and hard about jacking it in and going elsewhere, but then I think again and they do go to some great places.

    Should I jack it in and go somewhere where I can actually get some respect?

    Thanks for reading.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    This user has no status.
     
    I am:
    ----
     

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Kingston-upon-Thames
    Posts
    4,923
    Local Date
    06-20-2018
    Local Time
    05:52 PM
    Points
    8,270
    Gifts Beer Beer

    Re: Social group for special needs, could I do better?

    The first thing that strikes me is that you have put up with this for 10 years. Gosh.

    If you are still able to write to us and be yourself after that you have more strength than you realise. Many people would have been destroyed by the way they have treated you. In many ways I think you should just leave the group - it's the obvious solution especially if there is another group you can join that does trips away (I don't know if there is or not).

    However it seems you would prefer Lifestyles to go back to being what it was. I don't know if this is possible but if they have bosses or the charity has governors you could write to them, saying to them what you have said to us: that the two people in charge are rude, sarcastic and patronising and give the impression they don't want to be there and that numbers have dropped away since they have been there. If others in Lifestyles feel the same way they might want to sign the letter as well and if you can write a clear, well put together post like the one above I'm sure you could write a letter to the people at the top. They might not do anything but on the other hand they might and then things would hopefully improve.

    If they don't have bosses then it's either put up with the bad treatment for the trips away or leave, as far as I can see. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

    edit: Honestly, they sound like characters from Oliver Twist!
    The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
    Lone voice: "I'm not."

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    is Using Cyberlink Power Director for now
     
    I am:
    Sad
     
    Aura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    413
    Local Date
    06-20-2018
    Local Time
    08:52 AM
    Points
    1,796

    Smile Re: Social group for special needs, could I do better?

    Thanks for your reply

    The first thing that strikes me is that you have put up with this for 10 years. Gosh
    Yes it was totally different when i first joined.

    if they have bosses or the charity has governors you could write to them, saying to them what you have said to us:
    I could but a lot of them are the members parents who are a little on the elderly side, and not always on the same wavelenght as the participants.

    If others in Lifestyles feel the same way they might want to sign the letter as well
    I'm afraid because of some of the problems they have, they are like sheep. I hope I'm not being rude saying this. I sometimes wonder what the hell I'm doing there.

    Honestly, they sound like characters from Oliver Twist!
    More like Shawshank redemption more like.

  4. #4
    Proudly humble
    is Lost in the Ozone, again.
     
    I am:
    Cool
     
    LarsMac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    usually on the road to somewhere.
    Posts
    10,043
    Local Date
    06-20-2018
    Local Time
    10:52 AM
    Points
    38,667
    Gifts Beer Balloons Gift Car Beer

    Re: Social group for special needs, could I do better?

    Well, I'd suggest that you may have outgrown the organization, and perhaps it is time that you move on.
    It may not be so much that I've conceded your point as that you just can't hear me rolling my eyes.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    This user has no status.
     
    I am:
    ----
     

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Kingston-upon-Thames
    Posts
    4,923
    Local Date
    06-20-2018
    Local Time
    05:52 PM
    Points
    8,270
    Gifts Beer Beer

    Re: Social group for special needs, could I do better?

    Well, it sounds to me as if they are absolutely the wrong people to be running things for any special needs group.

    Do you know where others who left have gone? I don't imagine charities of this type are thick on the ground...

    As to the sheep reference, I don't think you are being rude especially given the way you say it, you are just describing how they are and give the reason (their problems). It is, though, one of those phrases that has a lot of negative aspects and some might not take it the way you intended. I suppose it would be more polite to say "Easily led," and less prone to social awkwardness... Personally I'm fine with it.

    I suppose in the end no-one can make the decision to leave or not for you. But looking at the question which you use as your header, ...could I do better? The answer is Yes.
    The crowd: "Yes! We are all individuals!"
    Lone voice: "I'm not."

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    is Using Cyberlink Power Director for now
     
    I am:
    Sad
     
    Aura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    413
    Local Date
    06-20-2018
    Local Time
    08:52 AM
    Points
    1,796

    Re: Social group for special needs, could I do better?

    Register to remove this ad.
    Do you know where others who left have gone?
    A lot of them have migrated over to Mencap which I don't want to go to as it's a step backwards for someone like me. Guess it's time to look for another social group.

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.5.2