Adultery

[Saint_]

With Tiger Woods now joining the swelling ranks of famous people who have ridiculed and denigrated the sanctity of marriage, I thought I'd take the pulse of our little community on adultery.

My opinion? Adultery is despicable, reprehensible behavior. Saying that, 'Men can't help themselves" is a cop-out and is similar to saying "I couldn't stop myself from robbing that bank." Of course you could, you were just weak-willed or morally bankrupt.

I didn't get married until I was 34 and I traveled the planet extensively, so I had lots of relationships. Not once did I ever cheat on a girl I was dating or in a relationship with. I'd be a liar (Something I desperately try not to be these days!) if I said that the thought of cheating never crossed my mind, especially in the light of some of the incredibly attractive and intelligent women I've met in a very storied and diverse life.

But I am telling the honest truth when I say that each time that thought stuck me, I found it distasteful and appalling in a place that is at the very core of my being. I knew that to give in to such thoughts, much less the actual act, was not just weak, but abhorrent to my very soul. Call it dignity, honor, personal self-worth, or even the "Code of the West", I have not and not and will never cheat on a girl

Were I to do so, I knew that I would never again be who I am.

There is a movement afoot in this country that somehow not only is cheating somewhat acceptable, especially in hardship or celebrity cases, and all men are doing it. Many people assume, (and this is supported by the movies, TV, and common mythology,) that men are slaves to their sex drives. And it's true that there are enough prominent examples out there (even a President!) to give even the most skeptical person pause.

But I'm not buying it.

So how about yourself? Is adultery just a part of the male condition? Or is it behavior to be avoided?

[CARLA]

Not acceptable never has been never will be. Do we make excuses for it in this day and age YES. Money talks and people pay for their discrections but eventually most of the marriages END.

[spot]

I think you've defined the root problem, Saint. It's not adultery, that's a mere consequence. The problem is marriage. This whole notion of contracts for life is just a means toward social conformity, it has no other value. When it comes with guaranteed prenuptial percentages of income on an annual accumulator the best word for it is legal prostitution.

[Ahso!]

I think you've defined the root problem, Saint. It's not adultery, that's a mere consequence. The problem is marriage. This whole notion of contracts for life is just a means toward social conformity, it has no other value. When it comes with guaranteed prenuptial percentages of income on an annual accumulator the best word for it is legal prostitution.

i totally agree. That said, I'm married! But marriage is part of my culture.

If we're going to be married, if indeed we do truly love(?) an other person, then we understand mistakes are made, and nature invades our constructs at times. It hurts like hell, but we're all human.

[K.Snyder]

I don't consider having sex with someone other than your "partner" to be cheating only if you leave your previous "partner". Any other instance would be cheating.

On that, I don't see how marriage in any way illustrates the love people share for each other.

If you LOVE your partner he/she will know it and that would be enough as far as I'm concerned.

[Odie]

Is it acceptable? all depends on the situation.

is it always because there is no more love left or the marriage is bad? no

I don't agree on cheating, but it does happen much more than we think.

and its not always men doing the cheating.

[K.Snyder]

and its not always men doing the cheating.

[LarsMac]

Well, I can only decide for my ownself.
yes, it is unacceptable. I got married for life. Fortunately for me, so did my wife. We have plenty of things that strain our marriage, but this will NEVER be one of them.

The problem is as said before, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, to start with, and then screw it up, and think they need to change partners. What the need is to change themselves.
You can't be happy with anyone lest you are happy with yourself, and nobody else can fix that.

[joey2000]

My opinion? Adultery is despicable, reprehensible behavior. Saying that, 'Men can't help themselves" is a cop-out and is similar to saying "I couldn't stop myself from robbing that bank."

It's also ridiculously sexist.

No it's never acceptable. Also water is wet.

The problem is as said before, too many people get married for the wrong reasons, to start with, and then screw it up, and think they need to change partners.

Then they should get a divorce.

Ah the 21st century and its ever-growing "anything goes" mentality, isn't it great?

[spot]

Ah the 21st century and its ever-growing "anything goes" mentality, isn't it great?

I must say I don't see that reflected in legislation, though I have my hopes that legislators might finally wise up and do the right thing.