The Line

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by Tan

I am a functional alchoholic. I'm down to about every other night now. I dont get sloshed. I do however crave more all the time. I've been justifying the fact that it's acceptable because I'm not a 'bad drunk'. I dont hurt anyone, drive or do anything really silly. I do know, however, the long term it has mentally, psychologically and financially.
I know I have strength to get total control.

Life is much more rewarding for me now Tan.
Im here if you need me.

[shelbell]

I'm a recovering alcoholic with 5years and 4 months of clean time. The day of my husbands visitation, last Thursday, was the closest I'd been to saying "f" it, I need a drink to get thru this. Then I remembered I had a choice...and I chose NOT to use. Using would not have helped because I still would have woken the next day with the same reality, yet most likely would have started using again. Get clean and stay clean knowing that using or not is a choice we face everyday...but you have to be clean first in order to have that choice.

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by shelbell

I'm a recovering alcoholic with 5years and 4 months of clean time. The day of my husbands visitation, last Thursday, was the closest I'd been to saying "f" it, I need a drink to get thru this. Then I remembered I had a choice...and I chose NOT to use. Using would not have helped because I still would have woken the next day with the same reality, yet most likely would have started using again. Get clean and stay clean knowing that using or not is a choice we face everyday...but you have to be clean first in order to have that choice.

Strong decision. Would have been so easy to tell yourself your entitled.
Mourning doesnt pass easily or quickly so you could have felt entitled till the cows come home.
And we all know the cows never come home.
Those ungrateful ****ers.

[shelbell]

Originally Posted by Nomad

Strong decision. Would have been so easy to tell yourself your entitled.
Mourning doesnt pass easily or quickly so you could have felt entitled till the cows come home.
And we all know the cows never come home.
Those ungrateful ****ers.

Thanks Nomie, it really helps to have someone that really understands. I came so close to crossing that line more so than anytime since I got out of rehab. I feel better that I've faced it and said "NO". One is too many...and a thousand is never enough.

My cows have never come home either.

[Nomad]

Originally Posted by shelbell

Thanks Nomie, it really helps to have someone that really understands. I came so close to crossing that line more so than anytime since I got out of rehab. I feel better that I've faced it and said "NO". One is too many...and a thousand is never enough.

My cows have never come home either.

Ive thought about it. Come close a couple times. But I think back to the way it was.
I really wish I could have 2 or 3 stiff shots of bourbon and call it a day but that doesnt work for me.

[shelbell]

Originally Posted by Nomad

Ive thought about it. Come close a couple times. But I think back to the way it was.
I really wish I could have 2 or 3 stiff shots of bourbon and call it a day but that doesnt work for me.

The past is a good indication of what our future lives would be like if we picked up again. I knew I was going to die if I didn't stop drinking and I wanted to have many, many years with my family. I was scared clean.