More and more older women are reporting domestic violence...

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:46 am

I have just watched a news report on TV that claims more and more women over 50 are seeking help for domestic violence.

Women's Aid report - older women and domestic violence - Women's Aid

I wonder If this Is due to changes In our laws now where any domestic abuse Is totally unacceptable and those ' older ' women who have suffered In silence for years are now realising that changes In the law mean they no longer have to live this way.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:55 am

No doubt a sudden realisation that they don't have to put up with a belittled life after all. They are the generation that believed that no matter what once you'd made your bed you slept in it forever no matter what. They also lived in a society where it was taught that marriage was for life. Seems changes in society has finally made them realise enough is enough.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:55 pm

Also any children will; be adults now and perhaps providing moral and financial support. The thing about domestic abuse is it results in a loss of self esteem which makes it harder to walk away from the abuser.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Sep 26, 2012 1:17 pm

gmc;1405718 wrote: Also any children will; be adults now and perhaps providing moral and financial support. The thing about domestic abuse is it results in a loss of self esteem which makes it harder to walk away from the abuser.

and hard to rebuild your life, shake off all the names and the abuse. I think if I could turn back time I would have run far far away from home to start anew. That way seven years on I wouldn't still have an ex trying to control from beyond divorce, messing with the kids heads still today causing grief at every turn

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Sep 26, 2012 1:39 pm

gmc;1405718 wrote: Also any children will; be adults now and perhaps providing moral and financial support. The thing about domestic abuse is it results in a loss of self esteem which makes it harder to walk away from the abuser. I was a victim of domestic abuse with my first husband. The reason I didn't leave sooner and It took me years was because I was actually so terrified of him and what he'd do when he found me, that I stayed for a quiet life.... as with most abused women, the abuse got more and more violent until I no longer cared what he did.

When I did leave, the liberation was consuming and I could be myself again. I vowed that no-one would ever make me feel like that again nor treat me like that again. If anything, I became stronger....

I just wish there was more help out there for abused women and not this ' you made your bed' attitude that still exists today despite changes In the law.

Post by **LarsMac** » Fri Sep 28, 2012 10:01 am

My daughter left her husband of 30 years, recently. Her Ex followed her when she and her new friend went across country to get away.

He is now in jail in Oregon for attempting to break in their house and shoot her.

My wife says he was abusing her all this time. I actually never knew that. IF I had, I would have put a stop to it, somehow.

I actually liked the guy.

I am still trying to figure out why she and her mother never thought they could tell me about it or report it.

The wife says, "Because I didn't want to see you go to jail."

He is mine, now.

When he gets out of jail, I plan to be waiting there for him.

I've known many people who lived in abusive relationships. There are head trips the women get into about it.

It's their fault, somehow, or 'he will hurt my kids if I tell anyone.'

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Sep 28, 2012 2:19 pm

LarsMac;1405848 wrote: My daughter left her husband of 30 years, recently. Her Ex followed her when she and her new friend went across country to get away.

He is now in jail in Oregon for attempting to break in their house and shoot her.

My wife says he was abusing her all this time. I actually never knew that. IF I had, I would have put a stop to it, somehow.

I actually liked the guy.

I am still trying to figure out why she and her mother never thought they could tell me about it or report it.

The wife says, "Because I didn't want to see you go to jail."

He is mine, now.

When he gets out of jail, I plan to be waiting there for him.

I've known many people who lived in abusive relationships. There are head trips the women get into about it.

It's their fault, somehow, or 'he will hurt my kids if I tell anyone.'
Sorry to hear about your daughter Lars...

Domestic abuse Is not just about violence but about control.

It's Interesting that new legislation In the UK re: Domestic abuse now also Includes those who keep their wives short of money or denies them a bank account, Is also deemed abusive.

This Is one of the reasons many women feel they can not leave.... no-where to go and no money to go with.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Sep 28, 2012 6:25 pm

sad but true. i am one, that was abused until i was 52. the reason it stopped. the SOB died. i buried it for over 2 years. thinking the pain would JUST GO AWAY!! No, it did not. this past Aug i had a compleat mental melt down. i was praying for God to kill me. So i could STOP the pain. The pain did NOT go away when he did. It festered in my mind and soul. Til i had no idea. where i was. let alone, know WHO I WAS. I had no i idea. because for so long i was told what to think, do, and say. i felt i needed permission to even breathe!!!! one who has never been abused. who may feel this was just NUTS on my part.

i went into the hospital for 5 days. then in after care program for 5 wks. it has changed my life. i am worthwhile!! i am not worthless!! i am so greatful to have had the the chance to take part in this program. if anyone would like info on this rewarding program. please e mail me. this is located in eastern TN. :-6