Suicide statistic ?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Mar 21, 2014 3:30 pm

Just caught the statistic that the biggest killer of men in the UK is suicide........had to look it up, and it's unbelievably true, frightening.

Suicide remains the most common cause of death in men under the age of 35 (Five Years On, Department Of Health, 2005).

Post by **Chloe_88** » Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:25 pm

Terrible isn't it.. we have had 3 in the family, and i'm keeping my fingers crossed that my brother doesn't go the same way (I know we live in Holland, but we were all born in Britain).

Seems to be bipolar disorder in the male side of my mums family. They all had their fair share of treatement, but chose their own way out in the end.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Mar 21, 2014 4:54 pm

I just cannot comprehend getting so low as to contemplate taking my own life.

To discover it is the biggest killer of under 35 year olds has blown my mind.

As you said Chloe it is not a simple case of depression it is a mental condition that escapes notice or that is difficult to protect the sufferer from if it is known about.

So sorry to hear of those close to you, hope your brother gets any support he may need.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:13 am

Like you said, It is difficult.

my brother knows he is the way he is.

he took meds and psych help on board for a few weeks, but as he has a choice of taking the meds, he just one day stopped taking them.

it's frustrating sometimes, like the other day he suddenly popped over to my house. You live in a constant fear of what mood he'll be in when he arrives.

gmc · Post by **gmc** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 3:08 am

Women seem usually to have better support networks around them, when a girl attempts suicide it's a call for help males tend to be on their own and for real it not being cool or accepted for a male to talk about how they are feeling. While at school I had a friend who attempted suicide the sheer nastiness and lack of any empathy of some I always remember. We stayed friends I used to visit him in the psychiatric hospital which had a large ward filled with kids the same age. The peer pressure to join in the stone throwing at anyone who is different from the norm is intense.

posted by chloe_8

it's frustrating sometimes, like the other day he suddenly popped over to my house. You live in a constant fear of what mood he'll be in when he arrives.

Know exactly what you mean I have a relative who also doesn't take his medication and usually manages to control it but you see the manic phases coming on. It's surprising the number of people who just cannot grasp it's an illness and not a life choice.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 6:49 am

Ennui, hopelessness, no plans for future endeavors, loneliness, disconnect, nothing to get excited about or involved in. All hope lost.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:19 am

AnneBoleyn;1450653 wrote: Ennui, hopelessness, no plans for future endeavors, loneliness, disconnect, nothing to get excited about or involved in. All hope lost.

But the whole thing is in your mind, nothing to do to do with reality, so sad that we are so damn clever about so many things yet fail on the most important things......people.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:34 am

I think that In the thinking process, men generally can be more clinical than women. I agree with gmc. Many women may contemplate suicide but would never carry out the act because they think of the children, what effect It'll have on the family etc etc.

Life Is harder these days. There's enormous pressure on all groups to be successful and not enough support networks for those who feel they don't match up. Women are far more likely to go to their GP's and complain of depression, stress, tiredness etc without shame because women are still viewed as the weaker sex, whereas men find that hard to do. They feel they have to be strong, In charge etc because that's what society still expects of a man. When they reach a point where they are at the end, they see no other option. I think women In general would talk to girlfriends about their problems but men may think they will be seen as weak If they confide to another man that they are stressed or feeling that they can't cope.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 10:41 am

I dont think I am that macho......so Ill be down the Docs no bother

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Mar 22, 2014 11:08 am

Bruv;1450679 wrote: I dont think I am that macho......so Ill be down the Docs no bother

I was speaking generally.

Some men can open up and some can't.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Mar 26, 2014 7:53 am

McOscar;1450675 wrote: I think that In the thinking process, men generally can be more clinical than women. I agree with gmc. Many women may contemplate suicide but would never carry out the act because they think of the children, what effect It'll have on the family etc etc.

Life Is harder these days. There's enormous pressure on all groups to be successful and not enough support networks for those who feel they don't match up. Women are far more likely to go to their GP's and complain of depression, stress, tiredness etc without shame because women are still viewed as the weaker sex, whereas men find that hard to do. They feel they have to be strong, In charge etc because that's what society still expects of a man. When they reach a point where they are at the end, they see no other option. I think women In general would talk to girlfriends about their problems but men may think they will be seen as weak If they confide to another man that they are stressed or feeling that they can't cope.

For most men yeah, i'd agree with you on that one. Also based on personal experience, as explained earlier in this thread..

Although the 4 males in my family all found some kind of help, but for 3 I guess it wasn't enough. My mums dad left 4 kids in england 1 kid in holland and his new dutch wife pregnant. My uncle in '95 left his siblings and mum in a re-run of what happend before.. And the last uncle in 2009 left a young teenage daughter behind. I just hope my brother doesn't go the same way..

The worst part for me is, the dog walker lady who found my uncle in 2009 in Richmond park. The poor petit woman, tried to lift a giant man.. Apparently he was still "sort of" alive at the time. People who commit suicide do not think about who finds them and the impact it gives. Or maybe they do, but the will to commit suicide is stronger.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:23 am

I can't Imagine how tough It's been for you Chloe having family takes their own lives. I think I'd be devastated. Yet, you have remained remarkably sound and upbeat. I think you would be an excellent counselor to other families.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:58 am

McOscar;1450913 wrote: I can't Imagine how tough It's been for you Chloe having family takes their own lives. I think I'd be devastated. Yet, you have remained remarkably sound and upbeat.

Well I still think about them every day. I didn't even cry at the funeral of my uncle in 2009.. It just felt like someone ript my insides to bits.. I cried at home on my own later.

McOscar;1450913 wrote: I think you would be an excellent counselor to other families.

Thanks Oscar

but when I hear of other losing family or pets, (I know it sounds super weird) I can really feel how that hurts them. I'm very sensative for the moods of others.

I sobbed last week when I heard my vet has cancer (really bad, and it's spread)..

I've felt a bit sad today aswell..

My colleague didn't turn up for work today.. after she had left in a rush yesterday. Reason she left in a rush was because her mum phoned screaming: he's dead he's dead!

Turned out her dad fell asleep and never woke up that afternoon.. he was only 50 something, and she's only 24.

I think a job like that would tear me to bits to be honest.