Is it?

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 1:53 pm

Just my mind blabbing away here....

Is it?

Is it so wonderful when you put your life on hold to help someone you love?

What? People don't put their own lives on hold anymore to help someone they love?

I have been told I am the best sister, best daughter, some kind of super nurse who is wonderful, intelligent and well spoken.

I can only say, I have one brother, one father and one mother. They mean the world to me and I would do anything to help them.

There is nothing exceptional about that, it's called love.

Love, love is when you wish you could take all the pain away from your loved one, switch places even. But as you can't, you do your very best to help this person, even if it does mean putting your life on hold. Your life, the life that seems so easy and careless, putting in that extra little effort, the extra little effort that might mean so much to this person.

All you can do is hope it has made a difference.. That real love has made a difference..

theia · Post by **theia** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 1:55 pm

That's beautiful, Chloe :-6

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:04 pm

Chloe_88;1465867 wrote: Just my mind blabbing away here....

Is it?

Is it so wonderful when you put your life on hold to help someone you love?

What? People don't put their own lives on hold anymore to help someone they love?

I have been told I am the best sister, best daughter, some kind of super nurse who is wonderful, intelligent and well spoken.

I can only say, I have one brother, one father and one mother. They mean the world to me and I would do anything to help them.

There is nothing exceptional about that, it's called love.

Love, love is when you wish you could take all the pain away from your loved one, switch places even. But as you can't, you do your very best to help this person, even if it does mean putting your life on hold. Your life, the life that seems so easy and careless, putting in that extra little effort, the extra little effort that might mean so much to this person.

All you can do is hope it has made a difference.. That real love has made a difference..

I know exactly where you're coming from Chloe so very well said.

Helping others gives an enormous boost to your well being.

I have to work so hard to support my husband and do everything around the house but I do It out of love and not for physical reward.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:05 pm

Thank you Theia :-6

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:07 pm

Oscar Namechange;1465869 wrote: I know exactly where you're coming from Chloe so very well said.

Helping others gives an enormous boost to your well being.

I have to work so hard to support my husband and do everything around the house but I do It out of love and not for physical reward.

Thanks Oscar.. And yes you do work hard to make sure Peter has all he needs, he is lucky to have you Oscar!

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:25 pm

Chloe_88;1465871 wrote: Thanks Oscar.. And yes you do work hard to make sure Peter has all he needs, he is lucky to have you Oscar! He's In the dog house right now In Oscar Towers .

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:42 pm

Oscar Namechange;1465873 wrote: He's In the dog house right now In Oscar Towers .

In the dog house? I hope he got a cuppa and a biscuit to go with that then? :wah:

No kidding Oscar, it's hard work.... one of the people i'm talking about is a 32 year old, dying, with 2 kids (aged 3 and almost 5), the other is my dad with heart problems.

Pffff... it is hard work.. but love makes up for it.. I would trade places with either one of them any day..

Sometimes I wonder if it's harder to watch someone go through something like that than actually go through it yourself....

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:51 pm

Chloe_88;1465875 wrote: In the dog house? I hope he got a cuppa and a biscuit to go with that then? :wah:

No kidding Oscar, it's hard work.... one of the people i'm talking about is a 32 year old, dying, with 2 kids (aged 3 and almost 5), the other is my dad with heart problems.

Pffff... it is hard work.. but love makes up for it.. I would trade places with either one of them any day..

Sometimes I wonder if it's harder to watch someone go through something like that than actually go through it yourself.... Well you should be proud of yourself Chloe...

When we lose our loved one's It Is a common trait In all of us that we have feelings of guilt that we didn't do more. We beat ourselves up and when that time comes, we Instead of remembering all we did, we think of the little we didn't do. It's normal, everyone does not In that position.

When my Mother had a massive stroke, she went Into a private nursing home. While other family were free to visit most days, I couldn't. I worked long hours that I had to commute 50 miles to and fro. She only survived another 5 weeks. Thanks to the care home and staff, they'd let me slip In quietly around 10 pm when I finally go home from work.

When she died, I found myself beating myself up for those last 5 weeks and not being there every day. Instead of remembering things like how I moved In with her when she broke her femur In a fall, I'm beating myself up over 5 weeks. It's a very natural thing to do.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:20 pm

mmmmm I had written a whole reply and it seems to have gone missing... lets try again..

First of all; ((((hugs to you oscar)))

We should rememer the things we DID do... and not the things we DIDN'T do... Hard sometimes isn't it....

tude dog · Post by **tude dog** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:45 pm

Put my life on hold?

I believe I been a good son, brother and uncle. Never seen in a situation where somebody has been in such dire straits that I should put my life on hold, whatever that means.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:24 am

tude dog;1465886 wrote: Put my life on hold?

I believe I been a good son, brother and uncle. Never seen in a situation where somebody has been in such dire straits that I should put my life on hold, whatever that means.

Or you have been very lucky not to have known someone in such a situation, or you just don't get it.

tude dog · Post by **tude dog** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:20 pm

Chloe_88;1465917 wrote: Or you have been very lucky not to have known someone in such a situation, or you just don't get it.

What I think is we have a different idea of what it is to put your "life in hold".

My Mom lived alone outside Hilo, Hawaii. Divorced from my Dad, her husband died she lived alone in the sticks, so to speak. She had some kind of stroke, or whatever ended up in the hospital. On top of that she suffers dementia.

Me and my siblings live on the mainland and by luck of the draw, I became responsible for her. Doing things like securing legal authority to speak for her, move her to he mainland, take care of her property etc and so on.

Took a lot of time off work. Spent a lot of time to find a place for her to stay and so on.

I hope I gave you the idea that she was totally dependent on me. Cost me a lot of time and money, but never once was my "life put on hold".

It is a part of life.

I could tell you about my best buddy who died last year and the time off work and all the other chit I did for him.

Nothing went on hold.

P.S. Mom is doing OK. Her favorite son, my youngest brother is looking after her now.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:37 pm

Interesting story, TD.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:37 pm

PS--So, it's not "life on hold", it's life.

tude dog · Post by **tude dog** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:59 pm

AnneBoleyn;1465934 wrote: PS--So, it's not "life on hold", it's life.

You got it.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Sat Oct 11, 2014 10:22 am

Sorry bit touchy on the subject. Im glad your mum has sons she can rely on and that she is doing okay!

Id say its part of being a family. I was surprised to hear many would not help family out. They continue with their normal work, day to day lives and seem only to care about family during the happy times and run when there is some trouble. Maybe that explains why i said putting your life on hold.

When i heard some bad news last month i just called work, took weeks of work and flew to a different country to help a family member out. I didnt even think about how it would give me a month in debt afterwards. When it's family, money/own day-day life is not an issue for me. They are my life.

Shame not everybody thinks that way ey...

tude dog · Post by **tude dog** » Sat Oct 11, 2014 2:21 pm

Chloe_88;1466026 wrote: Sorry bit touchy on the subject. Im glad your mum has sons she can rely on and that she is doing okay!

Id say its part of being a family. I was surprised to hear many would not help family out. They continue with their normal work, day to day lives and seem only to care about family during the happy times and run when there is some trouble. Maybe that explains why i said putting your life on hold.

When i heard some bad news last month i just called work, took weeks of work and flew to a different country to help a family member out. I didnt even think about how it would give me a month in debt afterwards. When it's family, money/own day-day life is not an issue for me. They are my life.

Shame not everybody thinks that way ey...

I am relived with your answer.

It was later I thought maybe better just to leave it alone. Just glad there are no hard feelings.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sat Oct 11, 2014 2:28 pm

Some people don't have loving families. Some people have cruel families, & it would be going against a lifetime of misery to help one of them out in the end. You are lucky, Chloe, you receive the love you give. I had wonderful parents & maternal grandma. When my mother died my sister dumped me & my son. They wouldn't care if we were starving in the street. If I had a brain in my head, neither would I.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Sun Oct 12, 2014 10:20 am

AnneBoleyn;1466032 wrote: Some people don't have loving families. Some people have cruel families, & it would be going against a lifetime of misery to help one of them out in the end. You are lucky, Chloe, you receive the love you give. I had wonderful parents & maternal grandma. When my mother died my sister dumped me & my son. They wouldn't care if we were starving in the street. If I had a brain in my head, neither would I.

That's true Anne.. Some don't have loving families at all, not even in good times.

I'm sad to hear about your sister not caring. But wonderful you did have such great parents and grandma! :-6

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sun Oct 12, 2014 5:38 pm

AnneBoleyn;1465934 wrote: PS--So, it's not "life on hold", it's life.

I agree, Anne.