Bipolars and Depressed People Enter Here--->

sharedfastlane
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Post by sharedfastlane »

Thank you RedGlitter for the thread.

Yeah, my attitude is: if this world * doesn't* make you sad/afraid/angry/mad then you ARE crazy. Who in their right mind could see the distressing things we see in the news/ know the lies that are being told in public life/see the discrepancy in services provided for different areas,income brackets and be content?

I get very cross though at what passes for treatment in the U.K.. We found our mental hospitals to be unwieldy and not conducive to recovery so closed some and went to the jolly old " care in the community" place; okay if people stick to the programme.

I get depressed and I would be scared quite frankly to go to a doc. about it. I have read too much online to see how little faith people have in their treatment; and how women can if not careful, or * used* to be, seen as merely neurotic,the most helpful advice is indeed to hope you " luck out" (I think someone wrote) to find a good therapist, or, as I've read, get a good * fit* for you, as in the right sized shoe.

My Dad had Manic Depression, sorry bipolar, and it terrified me, he had split with my Mum when I was 10, but then, he *had* lived through the war in Poland and apparently his Dad pulled a gun on his mother, Dad was a colonel.

I am always on the look out for treatments/ideas to help me and others deal with their baggage. I'm sad that Freud was by all accounts a victim himself of sexual abuse and ploughed denial and that experience into his style of diagnosis. Jung, I like but I can't see analyzing my dreams constantly being of enough help.

I tried ginkgo biloba, a natural product, to help with S.A.D. and it did rev. me up but when I tapered it off owing to financial considerations I slipped into a depressed valley for what felt like days so this worried me.

I appreciate peoples' humility and honesty on this fourm group, I really do. :o
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

hey buddy welcome to the mad house , my gran has been in a mental institution actually on both sides my dad is in a mental institution my son is bi polar as is my daughter who is in care in the USA ,me myself am bi polar but i can keep myself on the high if i force myself to joke and keep my spirits up , i tried doctor prescribed drugs when i got really depressed after multiple family deaths and other not so nice events ,but i just felt i was not alive I'd rather fight the pain and despair head on than feel like that ,I'd like to thank the people on f g that put up with me and the ones that have become as important to me as any friends i have in real life :-6
sharedfastlane
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Post by sharedfastlane »

Hello Jimbo

I think the strange way society is presented to us via T.V. films,articles, street behaviour is that we are made to feel less tjan if we have " mad" people in our family. I learned very quickly I couldn't tell anyone about my family situation and I think this contributed to my burdens. They say a problem shared is a problem halved. It has taken decades for me to begin to think I am an okay person and not to bristle when someone makes an innocent joke about " you're mad", or" he's nuts"

One problem I have about being honest about my life and how I see things is I fear the well-meaning person who will show by their comments they don't " get it". Since 12 or so, I'm fifty one now,I just wanted " a forum" to be able to be me and be honest about my real life and not have people dissolve into not knowing how to listen without giving fake sympathy because they were at a loss. So, to your family situation jimbo, I say " much respect to you, and love" My thinking is, if a person has had inadequately treated depression for periods, it feels like never ending misery so I can understand a little of why they would surge forward into a high with relief and an attitude of " Hey, I'm owed this - it's been hell" I can remember my Dad saying when depressed " you only like me when I'm depressed" because, boy was he lively when high, as a teen he really embarrassed me(!) He got a job where I worked to be " with me" funno wjy really - i just wanted to die, die:yh_ooooo :yh_ooooo !

Yes, a rellie was widowed recently ish and she said she got so tired of feeling numb. I get the humour as your method of helping yourself and it's lovely, I think I do it too, to feel relief and when people don't know the sad places hidden inside they can actually enjoy the humour and be enhanted by it I've found. xx
RedGlitter
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Bipolars and Depressed People Enter Here--->

Post by RedGlitter »

Hi SharedFastLane!

Welcome to FG and thank you for being part of this thread.

I found myself realizing that in order to have some semblance of normalcy in my life and my temper, I sold off part of me that is sunny and cheerful and gets excited about life. This done with bipolar medication. Does anyone else feel that something about them is "missing?" If i wasn't taking Rx for it though, I'd be a monster yelling at my family and flying into rages over absolutely nothing. I'm not willing to do that again but I am ready to find some happiness. There's a new Rx out called Lamictal (in the US, I don't know what it's called elsewhere) especially for bipolar people. I'll be talking to my doctor about it on the 23rd and can tell you all what she says.

What sobers me into not feeling as bad about my situation as I could, is knowing that were it even just 60 or more years ago, I'd be getting ice baths and insulin "therapy" and electricity forced into my head! Or maybe an ice pick lobotomy. God. I don't mean to be a bummer this morning, but we are fortunate individuals to live in this era where we don't have to suffer tortures and where we are somewhat understood by others.

There is hope for us yet!

:)
sharedfastlane
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Bipolars and Depressed People Enter Here--->

Post by sharedfastlane »

yes and thank you diuretic.
sharedfastlane
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Post by sharedfastlane »

HeyRedGlitter,

Yes, I have a formidable temper but I try to keep it swallowed in public so I think people see me as a little mouse and so sweeet (yeurch!) I read about punching cushions years ago and this offended me just seemed embarrassing and daft, but I think exercise might help me - get precious little of it. I've started slo-mo running - I don't look like an an athlete when I'm doing it sadly. I'm up to 5 street lengths (haha)

Yeah if I had something prescribed that seemed to take away my sunny side I'd be grieving. I read in some of my wandering around the net that we should get in touch with our inner child and I LIKE that. I'm not superkeen on the things I read about personality and help but ( could be my lack of understanding)I do like the idea of re-connecting with the person we started out as. I figure I started out retty okay then had to be impacted by fools, judgemental no-bodies, selfish gits , bullies, hormones and idiots, to name a few. I guess it's a journey for all of us. If we are willing, hopefully we'll meet what we need and sometimes in the most unexpected places and ways.

I started reading around in this forum out of bordom at work and wanting to find people to talk to who want to go beyond the surface banal I'm just very inexperienced at small talk, but I have found gold...I'm so very happy! If there wasn't a lurking facility and you had to speak first off I'd have combusted I think.

Why is the mental help profession the Cinderella of medicine? Perhaps on a par with geriatric medicine? It can't be the leading minds in it don't have the same chance of needing it's care. Still, the brain is complex and exciting research is probably being done but it takes years or a lot of proper scientific studies based on sufficient numbers of trial volunteers I guess. I feel if a person is feeling down, and possibly ashamed of this AND feeling their Doc. is badly in need of better bedside, or chairside, manner they aren't going to be fighting for better more respectful care.But yay to the banishment of E.C.T. and other weirdo therapies, I'd certainly rather have a cup of coffee. Not meaning to sound flippant.
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mominiowa
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Post by mominiowa »

It's ironic that this was here when I opened my Forum page...I have been in a serious funk for the last couple months...Why hasn't mom been around??..hmmm well--I am on so much medication, not only for the cancer, but for my depression and anixety..I am on Xanax, Cymbalta,and Proxac...Yes--Mom is NUTS..looney as all get out--I have been trying to ween myself off all of this..My day consists of this...I get up at 6:40 am...kids off to the buses...then I find my pillow and sleep,no kidding -till 3:00 pm..I get up take a shower quick so the kids don't think I am lazy...do the dishes and switch laundry, the kids come home from school...we do home work, maybe a trip to Walmart if I am strong enough, and then at 8:30 pm--everyone is tucked in and I am back in my bed....to sleep again...Its been getting worse-So I assume it's time I get some help...I will find out wonderful news on Thursday and Friday -and hopefully my life will not be so heavy...Wish me luck..and what a wonderful feeling to actually tell some one that I have done flipped my cork...I actually feel like NOT GOING BACK TO BED today! Hmmmm...should have came back to the Garden sooner...LOL

Ohhhh well---Good day...:-4


~~The Family~~

Happiness is knowing where you come from...

Who you are...

And why you are here.....
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SuzyB
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Post by SuzyB »

mominiowa;555146 wrote: It's ironic that this was here when I opened my Forum page...I have been in a serious funk for the last couple months...Why hasn't mom been around??..hmmm well--I am on so much medication, not only for the cancer, but for my depression and anixety..I am on Xanax, Cymbalta,and Proxac...Yes--Mom is NUTS..looney as all get out--I have been trying to ween myself off all of this..My day consists of this...I get up at 6:40 am...kids off to the buses...then I find my pillow and sleep,no kidding -till 3:00 pm..I get up take a shower quick so the kids don't think I am lazy...do the dishes and switch laundry, the kids come home from school...we do home work, maybe a trip to Walmart if I am strong enough, and then at 8:30 pm--everyone is tucked in and I am back in my bed....to sleep again...Its been getting worse-So I assume it's time I get some help...I will find out wonderful news on Thursday and Friday -and hopefully my life will not be so heavy...Wish me luck..and what a wonderful feeling to actually tell some one that I have done flipped my cork...I actually feel like NOT GOING BACK TO BED today! Hmmmm...should have came back to the Garden sooner...LOL

Ohhhh well---Good day...:-4




I am so glad your back Mom, good luck for the end of the week, i'm keeping everything crossed for you:-4 :-4
I am nobody..nobody is perfect...therefore I must be Perfect!





sharedfastlane
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Post by sharedfastlane »

Hello mom

I hope my coments didn't offend. I was just shouting my little mouth off as to how I see things in my neck of the woods.

I'm just a newbie and don't know you as well as some of the others, but you sound as if you have a lot to get on top of.

My husband is on some 7 different drugs for heart failure and it took a looong time for him to adjust to that chemical concoction. He finally made it through somewhat and anyhow the Doctor refused him anti-depressants telling him he was on too many drugs and they would only interfere with his meds. So I can't imagine how you must be feeling. And raising kids single handed?

I've been down the wanting to sleep to get away from it all road. and the not wanting to go to bed because it will just bring the morning up to face. It's the feeling that Iwill always be in the blue funk when I'm " in it" that is so suffocating, but it passes - every time.

Skim reading your former posts I think you mentioned prayer? My situation is I was a " born again " believer for some 20 years, having been originally brought up in the catholic faith. My Mum was a protestant and Dad a catholic so if they were to have a boy Dad would take him to a catholic church if a girl, Mum to a protestant. Dad told me nothing was really done so he took over!!I didn't have faith as such until life got really really stinky and I felt I coudln't cope. aroudn 27. Without going into the whole long story I " left the church" some 2 years ago to try and get counselling as I felt my bible knowledge wouldn't let me engage fully with the process of admiting I was not in many ways a " new creation" and " full of God"and I was feeling pretty burnt out with my husband's various ailments and what I felt were weaknesses over all our married life and then my daughter's husband of 3 weeks dying, from an illness he had when they married . I didn't " leave" God however, nor he me- he just let me have the space I felt I needed. There's nothing guaranteed to stir up a heap of confusion than healing in a charismatic church I found!!

So, as a stranger; please look out for anything to bless you in your life and don't above all things put yourself down. If you have suffered and had things hard, that's your story not a punishment. Don't think it's because God doesn't quite like you though. Hope you can read the spirit behind these clumsy words - it's meant kindly. Hope you continue to look for whatever help may be right fior you, as in support, succour, hope and good things/thoughts/fun.
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

just a quick question ,do pi polar people normally take things out more on their loved ones ,my girl seems really nice to every one else but jumps down my throat at every opportunity :rolleyes::rolleyes:
RedGlitter
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Post by RedGlitter »

jimbo;665658 wrote: just a quick question ,do pi polar people normally take things out more on their loved ones ,my girl seems really nice to every one else but jumps down my throat at every opportunity :rolleyes::rolleyes:


Yes. They often do.

I'm not sure why I did. Maybe it's because I felt secure enough in knowing they wouldn't leave or that I could get away with it? Or in my case, I often felt like I had to put on a front for others so I'd control myself around them but if I was having an episode I would fly off the handle at my mom or my dad without a second thought. Not sure why it is for other bipolars, but yes, that does happen.
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

RedGlitter;665675 wrote: Yes. They often do.

I'm not sure why I did. Maybe it's because I felt secure enough in knowing they wouldn't leave or that I could get away with it? Or in my case, I often felt like I had to put on a front for others so I'd control myself around them but if I was having an episode I would fly off the handle at my mom or my dad without a second thought. Not sure why it is for other bipolars, but yes, that does happen.


THANKS FOR THE REPLY I'VE FELT MOST UNLOVED ALL WEEKEND :(





then tonight she was really loving telling me how much she loves me :-3



i'm often unwilling to talk as whatever i say she goes mad at me then if i dont say much ,she then keeps saying whats wrong and then gets in a mood ,she is not happy at all in the uk :rolleyes:oh well its early days :thinking:
RedGlitter
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Post by RedGlitter »

jimbo;665676 wrote: THANKS FOR THE REPLY I'VE FELT MOST UNLOVED ALL WEEKEND :(





then tonight she was really loving telling me how much she loves me :-3



i'm often unwilling to talk as whatever i say she goes mad at me then if i dont say much ,she then keeps saying whats wrong and then gets in a mood ,she is not happy at all in the uk oh well its early days


Jimbo, bipolar people aren't happy anywhere when they're unhappy. Ok, that made no sense, did it? :rolleyes: What I mean to say is that she could be back in the US and not be any happier. The grass always seems greener on the other side. I don't mean to sound like I know all about her or anything like that; I'm just speaking from the point of a bipolar person. I could be exactly where I wanted to be right now and if I was having a phase, it still wouldn't make me happy. .

Another thing that's really important- when we act poorly towards people we love it doesn't mean we don't love them. We do love them. We're just unhappy with ourselves and we lash out sometimes. When we hurt you we are always sorry and it often makes us even unhappier with ourselves because we know we hurt you and we don't really know why we did it.

I know it's hard to do but when she lashes out at you, you have to remember that it is NOT that she doesn't love you. :-6
Carl44
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Post by Carl44 »

RedGlitter;665689 wrote: Jimbo, bipolar people aren't happy anywhere when they're unhappy. Ok, that made no sense, did it? :rolleyes: What I mean to say is that she could be back in the US and not be any happier. The grass always seems greener on the other side. I don't mean to sound like I know all about her or anything like that; I'm just speaking from the point of a bipolar person. I could be exactly where I wanted to be right now and if I was having a phase, it still wouldn't make me happy. .



Another thing that's really important- when we act poorly towards people we love it doesn't mean we don't love them. We do love them. We're just unhappy with ourselves and we lash out sometimes. When we hurt you we are always sorry and it often makes us even unhappier with ourselves because we know we hurt you and we don't really know why we did it.

I know it's hard to do but when she lashes out at you, you have to remember that it is NOT that she doesn't love you. :-6




thanks red :-6:-6
RedGlitter
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Post by RedGlitter »

You're welcome, Jimbo. :-6:-6:-6
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