If only I could...

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:14 pm

Screw who ever it is and the horse they came in on Pinky, we love you sweetie..:-4

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:16 pm

We are always here for you, dear Pinky!:-4

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:31 pm

pinky-i hope you never leave fg. you are one of my closest and dearest friends on here. i look for you everyday. :-4 :yh_hugs :yh_hugs i am always here for you if you need ot talk. you have been there for me. that is what friends are for.

love ya always

guppy/rhonda

Marie5656 · Post by **Marie5656** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:19 pm

Take a break if you need to. Sometimes we just need to step back and catch a breath or two. Seems to have happend here several times since I have been here..if things have gotten rather intense.

Sometimes a breather is the best medicine. Then you can come back all refreshed and ready to be your old tattooed, pink self.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:27 pm

Good advice Marie5656..!! Pinky just let it go and relax we human's are a strange bunch most of the time. If you let it bother you it will eat you up inside, just blow it off and be PINKSTER.. :-4

[QUOTE]Take a break if you need to. Sometimes we just need to step back and catch a breath or two. Seems to have happend here several times since I have been here..if things have gotten rather intense.

Sometimes a breather is the best medicine. Then you can come back all refreshed and ready to be your old tattooed, pink self. [/QUOTE]

Hugh Janus · Post by **Hugh Janus** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:35 pm

Pinky, I have been around a while now on FG. I have not said much.

I have kept my head down, because I can be quite cutting in my post's. However. I have read a lot of what you post and have found that you are a charming, energetic, thoughtfull, personable, witty, conscient person. So why do you suddenly get an attack of the "nobody understands me" thoughts? You are a valued member of the garden. Get over it gal. You will be missed if you leave...

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:38 pm

Pinky;453800 wrote:

When it comes to me feeling like I want to do myself in just to get away from my own feelings, no-one gives a damn.

That's where you are wrong. A lot of us here do give a damn.

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:12 pm

aw, pinky, i know the feelings you are explaining. i grew up in a alchoholic home. i could never be good enough or do enough to get loved. i carried the same problems with me into adulthood. married a jerk and kept on beating my head against the wall. and FINALLY. you know what.. i gave up.. i didn't care anymore. the whole bunch could kiss my fish ass. i started getting rid of people left and right. if they took me down, poof, gone. inlaws, neighbors. husband, my dad. alot of so called friends.

and for the first time in my life i have peace. a few close friends. but most importantly i realized i could be right by myself and still be fine. i like me.

the trick is to realize you are the best you can be. accept yourself. anybody else who thinks differently ; get rid of em. they aren't worth your time or energy. people who would dare judge you are using u for their advantage to get their way. it is all about them . they are playing the do, say and act anyway they have to to win. you are taking it personally. users are users. you cannot change them. ........get rid of em. chuck em and dont look back.

worked for me...........:-4

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 9:35 pm

Wise words Guppy and so very true. Life is tough enough day to day without the added worry of what everyone thinks you should be and do. Pinky accept yourself for the lovely women your are, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and that is a fact. You will never live up the the expectation of others it just not possible, and the effort will take your soul. We all go through these time when we don't understand why people react the way they do. As you get older you become a bit wiser in these matters and you accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you, or be the person you expect them to be. If you have 5 great friends in your life your good. The ones that can't accept you for who your are aren't your friends it is that simple.:-4

[QUOTE]aw, pinky, i know the feelings you are explaining. i grew up in a alchoholic home. i could never be good enough or do enough to get loved. i carried the same problems with me into adulthood. married a jerk and kept on beating my head against the wall. and FINALLY. you know what.. i gave up.. i didn't care anymore. the whole bunch could kiss my fish ass. i started getting rid of people left and right. if they took me down, poof, gone. inlaws, neighbors. husband, my dad. alot of so called friends.

and for the first time in my life i have peace. a few close friends. but most importantly i realized i could be right by myself and still be fine. i like me.

the trick is to realize you are the best you can be. accept yourself. anybody else who thinks differently ; get rid of em. they aren't worth your time or energy. people who would dare judge you are using u for their advantage to get their way. it is all about them . they are playing the do, say and act anyway they have to to win. you are taking it personally. users are users. you cannot change them. ........get rid of em. chuck em and dont look back.

worked for me...........[/QUOTE]

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:02 pm

sounds like he is using the money to control you and keep you there. do you have family you can go too pinky?

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:08 pm

ok, then do what you got to do. get out when you can. have patience. get determined. go over him, around him, whatever you got to do. set your mind and i guarantee u he wont be able to stop you from succeeding. and i bet he already knows this.

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:13 pm

Pinky;453818 wrote: I have spent most of my life being what others expect me to be, and I've proved that I will never live up to their expectations.

The real me (the me that you see here) never seems to be enough..not lovable enough, not organised enough, not in control enough. I am fed up of trying to live up to those things. There is always someone better than me, or worth more than me.

I am sick of trying to prove myself to no effect.

Obviously there is something not god enough or not quite right for me to be constantly rejected in this way. I'm done trying to figure out what it is...it beats me. I just can't be arsed any more.

Pinks hunny you sound like you have been living for others instead of living for yourself....

Hunny be kinder to yourself, others will be fine, they will manage, you are in need now! so lean on those you have come to trust and love.

If nothing else take time for yourself only, be selfish go on I dare ya.

You are loved

Minks

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:16 pm

Pink, you need yourself a plan. If you have a plan or even the start of one, you will feel more in control. Control will give you hope. Hope will keep you going and will give you determination. Determination will find a way out. You know as a witch, what you put into the universe is powerful. What's that saying??

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

I know this to be true because it's worked for me when I thought I should just shoot myself. It will work for you too.

ETA: One more thing:

Pinky, there is always somebody prettier, smarter, richer, kinder, funnier, or luckier than all the rest of us. This is why you cannot compare yourself with others. It doesn't matter what anyone else has or does, it doesn't take away your own worth.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:22 pm

Holy crap.I have been gone too long,folks shacking up,others cracking up,just hard too catch up.

I had too go for a walk for awhile too,Tryed too get some help from someone here and got blown off.So I had too face my demons and get my crap straight.

I hope you find peace pinky,remember when one door closes,another opens but sometimes you have too kick it.

Shweet tatersalad · Post by **Shweet tatersalad** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:27 pm

Pinky;453852 wrote: Thanks, it is appreciated, but I know that stufff. I need to now how I am meant to survive as a single woman with ajob that pays crap wages.

Not much n that.

Baby steps.................baby steps

RedGlitter · Post by **RedGlitter** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:52 pm

I'm the last person who should answer this, having no experience there, but I do know I've seen women who have done it. I know it can be done. There must be someone here who has some advice on this???

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 11:22 pm

Geesch, Pinky!!! I'm so sorry I didn't notice your distress faster!! I remember - when you first came to ForumGarden - I gave a whoop of delight. In finding a lovely, crazy, bouncy, shining, sparky person like you. Intelligent, caring of others, just plain nice. Feisty as Boudicca!!! I'm so sorry life has kicked you in the face like this. Just don't know what to say!! :yh_flower

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 12:46 am

Pinky;453852 wrote: Thanks, it is appreciated, but I know that stufff. I need to now how I am meant to survive as a single woman with ajob that pays crap wages.

Not much n that.

You can survive Pinky....I am.

I spent 40yrs married to somone who always wanted me to be something I wasn't. For years I wanted out but was scared I couldn't cope. I was 59 when I decided that I wasn't going to put up with it any longer, so I started to plan....Red's Idea is good there......It took 11 months before I could 'reveal' my plan, and 3 months to execute (sell house, find flat and move) I have wobbly moments but on the whole I'm fine on my own.

Money problems can be sorted...make offers to pay back small amounts.

Finding somewhere to live can be sorted although it might take time.

Can you do an extra part time job or find a better paid one ???

You said that you felt people didn't care, including your family. I'm sure lots of people DO care....the trouble is that nowadays everyone is so focussed on their OWN lives that they haven't got time for others...even family.

Chin up gal.....it'll be OK...you need to be brave and strong ....don't do anything without thinking it through first...

If you really feel down and can't see a way out...go to the DR...maybe there's some help there.

Love, peace and good luck xxxx

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 2:22 am

pinks first a :yh_hugs

i think its time for you to see a doctor, i think you may be suffering from depression, ive had several bouts of it over the years & reading between the lines thats what this sounds like to me, setraline in a very small doze can be really helpful.

As for being scared to go it on your own, thats understandable but the wonderful thing about paying back debt is that by law if you offer to pay 50 pence per week then they have to take it, you have offered to pay !! you cant be taken to court if your paying, sure they can phone you all the time asking for more but you cant give them what you havent got & you could always change you number or when they ring (they always ask for your full name - can i speak to pinky pinkser) you say - im sorry she's not home at the moment can i take a message, they dont know its really you !!

i was a single mum for many years, sure it was hard going at times but it can be done, ive a few more tips up my sleeve no doubt & am here for you in p.m's anytime, hugs you tight :-4

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:26 am

Pinky, you can survive. Buttercup's advice about seeing a doctor to see if it depression is a good idea to begin with. Then, once you have that figured out, you can decide what you want to do. It never is easy doing it alone, but you are one strong woman. You can do it. I raised 4 kids along for over a decade, and we made it through it. Take one day at a time, and remember we are all here for you.:-4

cars · Post by **cars** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:27 am

Wow, sorry you're going through such a rough time there pink! Your many wise friends here have given you some great perceptible advise.

I know first hand about "family" problems, & how it stinks. As I have been divorced from most of mine for the majority of my adult life! Just hang in there pink, things will eventually get back on track, you'll see. You can/will make it happen, cause you do have it in you to make it so! Good luck, & Best wishes!

skeeter2 · Post by **skeeter2** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:40 am

pinky, you poor kid...go look in the mirror and start pointing out each of your good traits as "you" see them and then determine that if no one else sees the same thing then it is because they are as depressed as you and are trying to find something in someone else that is not perfect so they can feel better about themselves...so don't put yourself down, just think of how much worse someone else feels...and boy, there are jillions out there ...going to work each day, smiling when they don't feel like it, coming home and wanting to kick the door in but not doing it because it would hurt their foot.......call someone, anyone, and ask for a recipe or something that you can compliment them about...you will be surprised how fast you feel better about "you"...my dad used to tell me.."Smile at people you don't like, they will wonder what you are up to. "

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:57 am

Pinky, I can't offer you any advice that is different to what the others have said. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're going through a rough time and if you want to talk then I'm a good listener.

I've been through some of the stuff you're talking about so I can sympathise but I won't bore you will the details just tell you that although you can't see it at the moment that light at the end of the tunnel is there.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 4:38 am

[QUOTE=Pinky;453833]

Trouble is,I'm so badly in debt because he wouldn't contribute (although he earns double what I do) that I'm sticking it out until I have that cleared.

[QUOTE]

As long as the debt keeps you there, it will never clear. If anything, he'll just keep adding to that debt.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:04 am

Pinky i can't add to any of the good advice here, so may i give you this.....:yh_hugs and a rainbow for you.

Attached files

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:18 am

Sorry you feel sad Pink :-4

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 5:35 am

Hey Pinky - You know how much this daft sod loves ya so I'm saddened to hear you're on such a downer.

Making that jump is tough. It's like standing at the end of the highest diving board. You know the water will cushion your fall, but still find it hard to have the bottle to jump. Dive in girl. You'll be surprised how liberating it is and you'll be fine. A little wobbler now and then doesn't mean you don't have the strength to cope. It's beyond belief that anyone couldn't like you in RL if you're anything like your FG persona. Advice, which will be free, is worth seeking. In the meantime, feel the love. You are special to me and everyone else :-4

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Thu Nov 09, 2006 6:04 am

Pinky , when you get up or when you get a break at school let me know yu are ok. worried about you. hope today is better.:-4