Summat to git yer teeth stuck into.....

[Rapunzel]

It's been a weird old day. Well, the last 24 hours so a bit of yesterday too really.
Anyhoo, we need to buy a car because the fares to work are horrendous and the buses (which should arrive every 20 minutes) actually arrive every hour (ish)!

We also need to move house because the neighbours from hell are slowly driving us insane!

Yesterday afternoon we had a phone call from the MIL who said her brother had just died. We were obviously very sad for her but tbh we havent seen him in years so it didnt really affect us. However, she (the MIL) spent a lot of time with him and helped care for him, so she was upset, even though it was expected.

Whilst in hospital, Uncle Jimmy told the nurse that he wanted to leave everything he had to his sister, my MIL. Unfortunately, he died without making a will!

So MIL was told, by the nurse, that she would get everything.

She phoned us about 4pm yesterday to say Uncle Jimmy had passed on.

Then she phoned again about 8pm to say that as she had been left everything, we could have his car! So, we were very sad for him and sad about his passing, but...YAY! A car!

This morning she contacted Uncle Jimmy's bank to set things in motion. She was told he had a fair old stash of money in the bank and a very nice life insurance policy!

She was also told that the bank had frozen all of Uncle Jimmy's assets and they were going to give everything to Uncle Jimmy's brother because he was his oldest living relative. This brother lives in Ireland, is 80 years old and hasn't seen or talked to Jimmy in donkeys years.

The MIL isn't well educated. Knowing her, she'll take the banks word for it and not contest it, even though she is living in near poverty herself.

Apparently Uncle Jimmy's house was rented from the council, so they will want to re-rent it asap! The 80 year old brother is not going to want to come over and clear out the house and sort out Jimmy's affairs, which means that MIL has to deal with it, which will be hard for her.

I don't want to sound greedy but we need items of furniture, eg wardrobes for the kids as they only have canvas ones and my son needs a new bed. The MIL said she was just going to give all the furniture to Jimmys neighbour as she looked out for him.

When I phoned her tonight to see how she was coping, she said her nephew (her sisters son) who hasn't spoken to her for about 10 years, had phoned her up to demand to know how much he was getting and when he was getting it!

So what I need to know is:
Can the older brother take the lot?
Can the bank take the lot?
Can the bank freeze the assets?
Does MIL have a claim?
Does the greedy nephew have a claim?
Should we just not get involved (other halfs choice as he doesn't want us to look greedy) and probably end up with nothing?

MIL desperately needs money, so do we, come to that. The nephew is loaded, but just greedy. I don't know how well off or not the 80 year old brother is.

Advice please?

[oscar]

In my experience Rap, the elder brother is legally bound to share any assets with your MIL and the greedy nephew has no say.
If there is no will and property and money are involved, the estate will likely become 'Intestate' meaning that it goes to the government. Your MIL and her older brother must then put in a claim for his legacy. It is a very long drawn out process and I wish them the best of luck. Bryn is probably your best bet for advice on this subject. x

[abbey]

They are wrong Rap, see this link;You and your money
(taken from the link)
"Everything to brothers and sisters of the whole blood equally."

[Rapunzel]

Originally Posted by abbey

They are wrong Rap, see this link;You and your money
(taken from the link)
"Everything to brothers and sisters of the whole blood equally."

Thanks Abbey, that really helps. (Thanks Oscar too).

I'll post it to the MIL.

Any idea how long this all might take?

MIL doesn't seem to realise that the council will want to re-let this house. So if its not cleared out in a month they'll want rent and council tax paid on it. If that doesn't get paid they'll probably confiscate everything, including furniture and car, and no-one will get anything. Doh!

I suggested MIL get a solicitor and visit Citizens Advice. She says she can't do anything until she gets the death certificate, which should be tomorrow. I told her she could get things started, but she wont.

I know her. She'll stick her head in the sand and do little or nothing, then complain for the next 20 years when the opportunities passed her by!

How can I chivvy her along to get things sorted out?

At the moment she's also thoroughly pi55ed off with the greedy nephew and has said she'll give the whole lot to 'the heart people' as Uncle Jimmy died of a heart attack.

I really don't want to sound greedy but she desperately needs this money, and tbh, so do we. No-one else in the family really 'needs' money. They all have nice houses, cars etc and would probably use the money for an extra holiday. The other half is like his mother (!) sticking his head in the sand and refusing to discuss it. It could really help solve our problems, and the MILs problems, But no-one will 'discuss' it! Grrr!

[Odie]

Originally Posted by Rapunzel

Thanks Abbey, that really helps. (Thanks Oscar too).

I'll post it to the MIL.

Any idea how long this all might take?

MIL doesn't seem to realise that the council will want to re-let this house. So if its not cleared out in a month they'll want rent and council tax paid on it. If that doesn't get paid they'll probably confiscate everything, including furniture and car, and no-one will get anything. Doh!

I suggested MIL get a solicitor and visit Citizens Advice. She says she can't do anything until she gets the death certificate, which should be tomorrow. I told her she could get things started, but she wont.

I know her. She'll stick her head in the sand and do little or nothing, then complain for the next 20 years when the opportunities passed her by!

How can I chivvy her along to get things sorted out?

At the moment she's also thoroughly pi55ed off with the greedy nephew and has said she'll give the whole lot to 'the heart people' as Uncle Jimmy died of a heart attack.

I really don't want to sound greedy but she desperately needs this money, and tbh, so do we. No-one else in the family really 'needs' money. They all have nice houses, cars etc and would probably use the money for an extra holiday. The other half is like his mother (!) sticking his head in the sand and refusing to discuss it. It could really help solve our problems, and the MILs problems, But no-one will 'discuss' it! Grrr!

are you sure she won't? maybe she has been stubborn or a 'can't both attitude' from other things, but she knows she does need the money.

and she is also pissed off..........

best to wait until until she cools down...normally wills are taken care of a couple of weeks after the person has passed........funeral time, grievance time, lawyers time.

never heard yet when wills/inheritances are give out a few days after death.

also the money is frozen.


and others contesting.

[Rapunzel]

Originally Posted by Odie

are you sure she won't? maybe she has been stubborn or a 'can't both attitude' from other things, but she knows she does need the money.

and she is also pissed off..........

best to wait until until she cools down...normally wills are taken care of a couple of weeks after the person has passed........funeral time, grievance time, lawyers time.

never heard yet when wills/inheritances are give out a few days after death.

also the money is frozen.


and others contesting.

Good advice Odie, thanks.

I'm not sure of anything at the moment tbh! *shrugs*

But I do know she sticks her head in the sand and refuses to deal with major issues - thats been her attitude for the last 20 years! *sigh*

I've been called upon to untangle her life quite a few times. The FIL is poorly and cant deal with stuff and the other half grows more like his mother each year! I thought it was only girls who did that!?

Good advice though - like a photographic film, I'll just have to wait and see what develops!

[Imladris]

Originally Posted by abbey

"Everything to brothers and sisters of the whole blood equally."

That was pretty much what I was going to say.

The bank have to freeze the account, you may need to apply for probate, depends on how his money is saved.

The very best thing you could do is go to CAB or find a solicitor that deals with this sort of thing, lots of solicitors offer a free hour appointment.

I think you need to act quickly on this, I have heard of this sort of thing before and sometimes a relative will get access to the home and strip out anything of value or any investment certificates/bank account details.

Very best of luck and you'll need to harden you heart to ensure you MIL gets what is rightly hers!

[oscar]

People get very nasty when It comes to money and Inheritence.
My mother stipulated in her will that her Jewellrey was only to be shared out between us girls. My brothers had no problem but my eldest brothers wife kicked up big time. She said to me one day 'I suppose you will be having that string on pearls? and I said No... I have never liked pearls but my eldest sister is having them'. She said 'What's the point of her having them... she'll be dead in three months'.... HONEST... I haven't got on with her since.

[Rapunzel]

Originally Posted by oscar

People get very nasty when It comes to money and Inheritence.
My mother stipulated in her will that her Jewellrey was only to be shared out between us girls. My brothers had no problem but my eldest brothers wife kicked up big time. She said to me one day 'I suppose you will be having that string on pearls? and I said No... I have never liked pearls but my eldest sister is having them'. She said 'What's the point of her having them... she'll be dead in three months'.... HONEST... I haven't got on with her since.

Thanks Immy and Oscar.

She says she'll contact a solicitor now that she has the death certificate although I bet she doesn't do it as a matter of urgency.

Immy, Uncle Jimmys neighbour has his door key as she used to keep an eye on the place for him. As we don't know what he had I wouldn't be surprised if she's gone in and stripped out some valuables. After all, whats to stop her? Uncle Jimmys wife passed on 10 years ago and they had no children, so all her jewellery will be sitting there for a start. I know you shouldn't assume she'll clear some stuff out, but...

Oscar, you're not kidding they're getting nasty!
MIL's sister passed 6 months ago and her 4 daughters inherited everything. House and contents, farm and land. They shared it out between themselves and their own children, although they did say MIL could choose something from the house if she liked. Now the 1st of the 4 has also phoned up asking when the divying up will begin!
God, the other half accused me of being greedy because I wanted a couple of wardrobes and a bed for the kids! I can't believe they're like f*cking jackals round MILs heels! Other half is disgusted with all his cousins and ended up yelling at me for even talking about it! We ended up having a blazing row and he walked out in a huff. (He does this every so often. It's extremely childish and manipulative on his part and I just ignore it, knowing that he'll go for a walk, calm down and be more receptive when he comes back). Anyhow, he phoned MIL who phoned me and had a bitch down the phone at me.

Now, I could leave this out, but I'm fed up so I'll tell you. The other half got married when he was about 19. The marriage lasted 4 years during which time his wife, Steph, treated him like dirt, had an affair, ran off with the other chap (well actually she kicked hubby out so she could move her new chap in) and she kept everything they had! Hubby was left with a few clothes, thats all. She then sent hubby all her bills. He paid half and sent the other half back to her. She refused to pay them and sent them back so he paid them all because he said it was easier than arguing! Nice bloke but doormat mentality!

I met him about 6 months later, it took him a long while to ask me out (despite many hints! ) Finally we got together and I fell pregnant quite quickly. (Oops!) We've now been together for 20 years. We've stuck together through some good times and waaay more bad times (including being unable to buy things that our new baby son needed because hubby spent most of his money paying off all the ex-wife's bills!). But every freaking time I see the MIL she mentions Steph! And if she's in a bad mood she tells me that I'm like Steph all over again! She very nearly split us up because of it. She's very manipulative and controlling and wants everyone to kowtow to her. I have been extremely supportive and understanding to her for 20 years. She's been absolutely bloody foul and I haven't ever said a word back to her. She also split her other son up from his partner using the same tactics. She wants both sons living with her, so she can control them.

Anyway, work is manic at the moment and the other half has been shouting for the last 2 days about not looking 'greedy' about this inheritance. Last night he played all the manipulative games that he learned from his mother, but I deal with 8 year olds who are far more manipulative than him and I'd just about reached the end of my tether. I was sick and tired of everyone constantly moaning at me, so I refused to react and let him walk out. I knew he'd come back when he calmed down. However, he phoned MIL who phoned me and told me I was just like Steph (again) and said she's told him to come back to her and that he'd never come back to me. After 20 years of trying not to hurt her feelings (even though she tramples over mine!) I told her I didn't ducking care, he could duck off and she could duck off too!

I'm sick of her manipulative ducking games!

So for now I don't give a toss about the sodding inheritance. She'll probably duck it all up and if she gets anything she'll probably share it out with every leach who crawls out of the woodwork because they'll tell her they're entitled and she'll believe them.
Stupid ducking family!

[abbey]

Phew.........duck a duck!