need advice

[watermark]

How long should I stay at my current job? I don't like it that much but I'm grateful to have one. I have a kid who lives with me and I want to provide for him for at least the next few years. I would be in favor of moving but don't like the thought of interviewing for a job and readjusting to a new place. I'm restless with my life atm so I thought moving would be a good solution. Any advice?

[spot]

Some firms, when they need to lose staff, let go of the most recent recruits first before they start in on the longer term members. If you switch to a firm that then has to retrench you might get stung by that.

Getting a new job often involves a probationary period. If you move and then flunk that test you can't go back.

Other than that, moving on is often the best way to jump your career and salary up a gear.

[watermark]

thank you for your input spot. that was helpful. the firm i work for atm is dependant on the economy to some degree but has a little bit more stability than a true business would. i think its been years since someone was let go from where i work whether or not they were newly hired.

what about my kid? do you think he would be ok moving someplace new?

[spot]

Originally Posted by watermark

what about my kid? do you think he would be ok moving someplace new?

There's only one person knows the answer to that. Give him an hour or two's notice that you want to discuss the pros and cons of moving, tell him what the likely destinations might be, let him weigh up who he knows and what he gets out of his current school with the possibilities at the other end of the line. He's what? Around 13? Maybe he'd jump at it, maybe not. If he's always lived in the same town then it might be more of a challenge but that doesn't mean he'd not want to. On the other hand if you're proposing to shift to iced-up snowbound winters he might take some persuading.

[along-for-the-ride]

I agree with Spot. This is not a time to be impulsive. Plan and discuss with the child involved. Before you decide to move, make sure there will be a good job and a comfortable home waiting for you at your new destination.

Good luck!

[Rapunzel]

Originally Posted by watermark

How long should I stay at my current job? I don't like it that much but I'm grateful to have one. I have a kid who lives with me and I want to provide for him for at least the next few years. I would be in favor of moving but don't like the thought of interviewing for a job and readjusting to a new place. I'm restless with my life atm so I thought moving would be a good solution. Any advice?

Make lists!

They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

So plan that journey.

Make a list of all the things you like about your life and your job. Make another list about all he things you DON'T like about your life and your job.

Make a list of the sort of jobs you would like to do.

Make a list of the good things about these jobs and the bad things about these jobs.

Look at your lists. Work out what kind of job would suit you best, one you'd enjoy doing which had a lot of positive aspects for you. It doesn't matter if you think you can't get that job right now. You have to decide which is best for you. Now you have to decide how to get that job. Can you just apply for it? Would it help if you got more qualifications for it? Can you do evening classes for it?

Employers don't like people who chop and change jobs, but they DO like people who have plans. I like 5 year plans. Where do I see myself in 5 years time? Where will I be? What will I be doing?

I always thought I'd like to teach. When I helped out in my young sons school I KNEW I wanted to teach. I asked how I could be a teacher and was told I needed a degree. As I only had O' levels I knew that it was an impossible dream. But then I decided to move house and I moved close to a college where I did a part time Access course, whilst the kids were small. The Access course result was the equivalent of 3 A' levels. That got me onto a 4 year degree course. 8 years after realising I KNEW I wanted to teach, I began to teach. It was a long road but an enjoyable one. I learnt a lot and it changed me. Life is all about the journey we take to become the person we want to be.

So don't just chop and change jobs whilst you try to find something interesting. You'll probably end up in a similar job with similar pay and similar problems.

PLAN what you want to do. You're restless because you feel you're in a rut and going nowhere. Plan your future, enjoy using your brain and brushing up on the topics you study. Meet new people and make new friends. Maybe do some voluntary work experience in the career you choose. Then, when the time is right, you can apply for the job you want knowing you have the qualifications, the experience and the enthusiasm for that position and I'm sure you'll nail it!

Hope that helps and best of luck!

[Rapunzel]

Originally Posted by Rapunzel

Make a list of all the things you like about your life and your job. Make another list about all he things you DON'T like about your life and your job.

Oh. I forgot to say... look at these lists also and plan how you could currently make your life better. Work on the long term plan, but also in the short term, for now, how could you improve your life?

Could you volunteer to do more of the things that you enjoy at work?
Employers love people who show enthusiasm for their jobs.
Could you do all the things you DISLIKE doing at the beginning of every day? Get them out of the way for the day?
Make a game out of thankless chores. The things we hate doing wear us down so make them into silly things that you can cope with.

You have to work on making the NOW better for you as well.
Work out how you can improve it.

Once you start working your plan and start coming out of your rut, you'll start to feel a lot happier and the child in your life will feel happier too, which will then make you feel even happier still.

Life usually changes slowly, so take that first step, make lists of how to improve your life now and where you want to take it.

And dance! Put some music on and dance around the living room. Until you flop in a chair feeling tired and happy. It really helps shake up your mood!

[watermark]

Rapunzel, thanks for that thoughtful response. You gave me some input I will use. (I do rely on lists of all sorts at various times in my life, so that was a good idea.) I know what you mean when you say I'm likely to get myself into a situation similar to what I'm in now if I'm not careful and use some forethought.

It's a huge decision for me. I haven't been happy where I am for quite some time. My job requires a lot of emotional energy, people intensive and maybe it's not the right career for me. It's stable though, and I make a decent enough salary (there is one hitch to this, I know others where I work are making about 10 thousand more than me with same experience, and due to a 'new' rule that went into effect right when I moved to this place, I'm stuck having to prove my worth through writing and showing them my value.) Anyway, it's specific to where I work and not a general thing all over the country. I could very well make much more in a different part of the country without the nonsense.

Job chop and change. Good phrase for what I seem to do. I can't find the right spot! Staying within the same employer more or less and field, but I've definitely moved around a lot due to my dissatisfaction. First it was b/c of the long commute and work conditions, now my need to move is due to having to complete this big project to prove my worth.

I do have to consider how I want to make my money. I thought I would be ok just working where I do and what I've been trained to do, but I just can't find a contentment deep within myself. But how else? I mean lots of people just do the job whether they love it or not. Why not me? I'm so far away from working anything that would make as much as I make now, that it seems silly for me to pay to be trained or to gather the (volunteer) experience to work in another domain.

Thanks again for your help.

Spot, thanks to you to for remembering my son's age and such. I will do what you say when the time comes. I need to remember not to discuss the possibilities with him though before I've made up my mind. Kids aren't so good with parent's when in the consideration stage of big decisions, but do better after we have solidified them. I've found this to be true with my own anyway.

[watermark]

oh just now noticed your reply alongfortheride. thnx for the encouragement! i will most likely plan where i want to live and try to find a way to earn a living, then have to do all the application, interviewing, et to finally be hired there, before settling on the move. i'd have a harder time moving for a job in just any ol place just because i knew a job and comfortable place was waiting for me. but with my son it makes it more complicated that way. i've narrowed my interest in place down to a certain region, so that makes my job search more focused.

[oscar]

Originally Posted by watermark

oh just now noticed your reply alongfortheride. thnx for the encouragement! i will most likely plan where i want to live and try to find a way to earn a living, then have to do all the application, interviewing, et to finally be hired there, before settling on the move. i'd have a harder time moving for a job in just any ol place just because i knew a job and comfortable place was waiting for me. but with my son it makes it more complicated that way. i've narrowed my interest in place down to a certain region, so that makes my job search more focused.

I always believe that we should act on gut instinct. If you have a real nagging feeling then re-consider. If your heart and head is telling you it's time for change, then it most likely is. Life is about gambles but there is nothing worse than to look back years on and wish you had been bolder. I wish you all the luck there is and keep us posted.