New Business Opportunity

[spot]

I've got this idea and it's really cheap to set up.

There's lots of people who have swimming pools but they're worried about the economic downturn and wondering whether they'll be able to afford food.

They've got land but they can't keep animals because animals escape. The land's got lots of worms but the owners don't want to eat worms, what they want is meat.

We could sell baby dolphins over the Internet to these people.

And they could put the baby dolphins in their pool and feed them on worms until they get grown and then they could fill their freezer and have lots of meat. So long as they breed new baby dolphins first it's a perpetual food supply for a single investment.

I found a place which sells baby dolphins, all we need is the publicity and the ordering website and a courier that can carry aquatic livestock.

If we do this as a forum cooperative venture it could be ForumGarden Emergency Protein Supplies.

We need another word that means dolphin too, people can be a bit save-the-whales about these things. There's millions of them though, they're not endangered or anything. How about wet steers?

And for people who have rockeries as well we could supply a dozen baby walrus, or baby fur seals for customers who can stitch.

I've found a harpoon supplier, this is all falling into place. Customers can mount harpoon guns on their patio and send guests out to choose their own lunch.

[Imladris]

I don't have a swimming pool. Do they do pygmy dolphins that would fit in a large pond? I'd have to dig a pond first but it would be worth it for the savings.

Probably wouldn't be enough time to fatten it for Christmas this year but next year would be sorted - except for those who like a leg!

Great idea Spot - Oh, and can I have some of what you're on??

[spot]

Originally Posted by Imladris

Do they do pygmy dolphins that would fit in a large pond?

They're called porpoises, you strange woman. What sort of school did you go to?

[Imladris]

Originally Posted by spot

They're called porpoises, you strange woman. What sort of school did you go to?

Comprehensive school, obviously.


And you're calling me strange - make a sentence from these words;

pot

kettle

black

[spot]

This is amazing, if you pour bleach in the swimming pool you'll never guess what happens - the dolphins turn white!

Enthusiastic customers can lash themselves to the harpooned dolphin and shout, as they're dragged to the depths of the deep end, "Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering dolphin; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee".

That's got to be worth the price, surely. Put that on film and you'd win an Oscar.

[sunny104]

Great idea! I can contribute deer, they're plentiful here.

[spot]

We can post deer???

[Imladris]

Originally Posted by spot

We can post deer???

Big jiffy bags. And bubble wrap their antlers.

[spot]

Jonathan Routh once posted himself.

I'm trying to remember why I know that.

It was in his obituary last June, that's why.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/com...cle4075247.ece

There aren't many like him.

"duped into making fools of themselves" is unfair, I thought then and still think that Jonathan Routh was very careful to avoid that impression. They mistake him for Beadle.