Eco friendly

[Carolly]

Originally Posted by oscar

Well, i went to get some green paint today for the fencing but i popped into Boots, you know, the one next to Brantano shoe shop where they had all that trouble with the woman and her corns? Anyway, that woman's cousins, neighbours goldfish leapt out of it's bowl the other day and landed on the sofa, now let me think, was that the sofa she got from Argos? No, it's probably the one her sister's boyfriend gave her, you know him, he's the one with one leg that throws his shoe's out of car windows on the motorway but not the A4 that's the one where the coach broke down last week on it's way to Butlins, or was it Pontins?

Ohhhh ye.....I know.One of his shoes was in the papers last week as they wanted to know if anyone had the other one....guess the answer was no.The Goldfish....did it die....hope not as I like GoldfishWhat was his name....I had one once but I got drunk one day and had run out of carrots for the Stew so I thought ....oh well nobody will noticeBTW is that right you have started breeding eels

[oscar]

Originally Posted by Carolly

Ohhhh ye.....I know.One of his shoes was in the papers last week as they wanted to know if anyone had the other one....guess the answer was no.The Goldfish....did it die....hope not as I like GoldfishWhat was his name....I had one once but I got drunk one day and had run out of carrots for the Stew so I thought ....oh well nobody will noticeBTW is that right you have started breeding eels

Yes, it was in the Daily Mail or it could have been the Mirror anyway the goldfish's name was 'Bernie' but no, hang on, Bernie was her husband or was it her husbands brother?. Could have been Trevor but then he's the next door neighbour who had the op on his hernia or was it piles? The goldfish did die but they didn't 'carp' about it and got another one from the pet shop next to the wine bar where that woman speared that barmaids eye while playing darts. You remember that, there was no ambulance available so they took her to hospital in that Mini and then it collided with that bus on the Old Kent Road, or was it a white van? The driver was that guy who lives with Mrs Bagcrumbles daughter in the caravan, or is it a mobile home? They had all that trouble last year with the over flow pipe on the toilet that leaked into the River Avon or was it the River Liffy? Anyway it's not me breeding eels, i think your mistaking me for the owner of that jellied eel shop in Bethnal Green or Glasgow, anyway it's one or the other. You know the shop i mean, it's where they had all that trouble with that woman on the zimmer frame when she fell backwards into a display of clams but she's just 'shell' shocked at the moment. Her uncle is the one who gets the eels and trains them to do tricks. He was in the Daily Mail last year for 'eel abuse' but the RSPCA let him slip through their fingers. The same RSPCA who had that horse with 5 legs that went clip, clop, clip, clop, clip. It died in the end after eating too much Brie but they think it was just horsing around and not intentional.

[Carolly]

Originally Posted by oscar

Yes, it was in the Daily Mail or it could have been the Mirror anyway the goldfish's name was 'Bernie' but no, hang on, Bernie was her husband or was it her husbands brother?. Could have been Trevor but then he's the next door neighbour who had the op on his hernia or was it piles? The goldfish did die but they didn't 'carp' about it and got another one from the pet shop next to the wine bar where that woman speared that barmaids eye while playing darts. You remember that, there was no ambulance available so they took her to hospital in that Mini and then it collided with that bus on the Old Kent Road, or was it a white van? The driver was that guy who lives with Mrs Bagcrumbles daughter in the caravan, or is it a mobile home? They had all that trouble last year with the over flow pipe on the toilet that leaked into the River Avon or was it the River Liffy? Anyway it's not me breeding eels, i think your mistaking me for the owner of that jellied eel shop in Bethnal Green or Glasgow, anyway it's one or the other. You know the shop i mean, it's where they had all that trouble with that woman on the zimmer frame when she fell backwards into a display of clams but she's just 'shell' shocked at the moment. Her uncle is the one who gets the eels and trains them to do tricks. He was in the Daily Mail last year for 'eel abuse' but the RSPCA let him slip through their fingers. The same RSPCA who had that horse with 5 legs that went clip, clop, clip, clop, clip. It died in the end after eating too much Brie but they think it was just horsing around and not intentional.

Ere.....yer not winding me up are ye.....The Sun I could understand......but The Mirror na ye winding me up

[oscar]

Originally Posted by Carolly

Ere.....yer not winding me up are ye.....The Sun I could understand......but The Mirror na ye winding me up

No your right, it couldn't have been the Mail as that's for Conservatives and Lib Dems or is the Green Party? Could be the Green party as the OP was about some-one wanting to go green or was it pink. No pink was the colour of that dress that woman wore to my wedding. You know her she had the lop sided smile after that accident with a pork pie. Her surgeon was that geezer who does the odd market selling off old surgical instraments at the market up your gaff end of the words. Gawd blimey, lovva duck, he got caught with his penis in the bacon slicer and was arrested after the bacon slicer at the co-op complained to police. The arresting officer was that geezer who lived next door to that polish guy who had the sex change.

[Carolly]

Originally Posted by oscar

No your right, it couldn't have been the Mail as that's for Conservatives and Lib Dems or is the Green Party? Could be the Green party as the OP was about some-one wanting to go green or was it pink. No pink was the colour of that dress that woman wore to my wedding. You know her she had the lop sided smile after that accident with a pork pie. Her surgeon was that geezer who does the odd market selling off old surgical instraments at the market up your gaff end of the words. Gawd blimey, lovva duck, he got caught with his penis in the bacon slicer and was arrested after the bacon slicer at the co-op complained to police. The arresting officer was that geezer who lived next door to that polish guy who had the sex change.

That polish guy was really a cockney ye know trying to impress people with that accent he had been taught in prison for nicking out of Woolworth a tin of Green Paint.....ere ye dont fink it was for the person who put this Thread up do ye

[oscar]

Originally Posted by Carolly

That polish guy was really a cockney ye know trying to impress people with that accent he had been taught in prison for nicking out of Woolworth a tin of Green Paint.....ere ye dont fink it was for the person who put this Thread up do ye

If
the name he went by was 'ivorbollockoff', it could have been. Wasn't he in prison with Mick-the-machette who cut that geezers leg off?. Hang on, that could be the geezer with one leg who throws his shoe out of car windows on the motorway.

[Carolly]

Originally Posted by oscar

If
the name he went by was 'ivorbollockoff', it could have been. Wasn't he in prison with Mick-the-machette who cut that geezers leg off?. Hang on, that could be the geezer with one leg who throws his shoe out of car windows on the motorway.

Oh yeeee it all fits now.....good finking Sherlock

[qsducks]

I suppose I should start taking this thread off topic...lets see...what do I have in my pantry....microwave popcorn...of course! Drizzle some chocolate on it...oh yeah baby

[CARLA]

Green just not a good color on me.

[qsducks]

Originally Posted by oscar

No your right, it couldn't have been the Mail as that's for Conservatives and Lib Dems or is the Green Party? Could be the Green party as the OP was about some-one wanting to go green or was it pink. No pink was the colour of that dress that woman wore to my wedding. You know her she had the lop sided smile after that accident with a pork pie. Her surgeon was that geezer who does the odd market selling off old surgical instraments at the market up your gaff end of the words. Gawd blimey, lovva duck, he got caught with his penis in the bacon slicer and was arrested after the bacon slicer at the co-op complained to police. The arresting officer was that geezer who lived next door to that polish guy who had the sex change.

It's a good thing your new nephew will be in your hands Oscar. My, think of the stories you can tell him. I've been known to mix up quite a few myself with my kiddies...the 3 bears & goldilocks go to the mall, supermarket, zoo, etc. It always changes. That's our fave though is the bears & goldilocks.