<r>Talking to a friend about wisdom and they tell me im unconventional, take the crash course , but still reach the desired destination - so i said this <br/>
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bruised and battered,<br/>
<br/>
i get to the gates. <br/>
<br/>
slowly they turn and ogle <br/>
<br/>
their lips spread in a grin<br ...

how about lily and - no worries I enjoyed reading it!

<t>Bryn Mawr;1375688 wrote: For what it's worth (I'm no poet and never likely to be) I liked it. I liked the symmetry of it, the pallindromic nature of the centre section with its contrasting of what you wanted against what defeated it worked well, the repetition of the first and last stanzas with ...

<r>Lady J;1375625 wrote: limitless your poem does bring about a certain feel but how much constructive criticism do you want?<br/>
<br/>
When building a poem one can use all the scaffolds they need but those structures should be removed so that the reader is not distracted by idol thought but left ...

It's beautiful!

I love short pieces that are relatable,

It says so much in so little,

I like the fact it isn't linked to a gender and your voice and your want is dominant

Very appreciative! Thank you (:

<t>jones jones;1375485 wrote: More often than not our plans come to nothing.<br/>
<br/>
You have a way with words. In four very short stanzas you have conveyed exactly how you feel. Brevity is an exceptional trait. I am envious as in my case, if something can be said in a single sentence, I will ...

I'm glad you enjoyed it, that's all I want people to be able to do , is read enjoy and connect with it on some level

theia;1375449 wrote: For me, I felt there was so much truth in what you wrote


Thank you (:

Lon;1375414 wrote: Pretty negative


.. . Highly likely that since I wrote it I know it's negative, I was hoping for constructive criticism thank you

<t>I had a direction,<br/>
<br/>
then I started researching it.<br/>
<br/>
Papers, forms, telephone calls.<br/>
<br/>
Slowly my bubble burst.<br/>
<br/>
I had my future planned.<br/>
<br/>
Career, location and family.<br/>
<br/>
I had a direction,<br/>
<br/>
then I came back to reality.<br/>
<br ...