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4rum

It's impressive, the idea that there are people who still have the same email address after fifteen years. I definitely don't, I can't even remember what email address I had back then - something@telewest.co.uk perhaps.

Perking up and coming over here to say hello again is a very gracious ...

4rum

I received an email inviting old members to pop in. I'm a poppin'

4rum

<t>Granny and the Tooter 
 
Granny saw her last birthday 
 
From the backside of eighty two 
 
So ninety ain't so far away 
 
Hence nothing works like new 
 
Her mem'ry left her years ago 
 
Her teeth weren't far behind 
 
Might explain ...

4rum

NASCAR, like any other business has become all arithmetic. If Jr. doesn't perform to a certain profit margin, Hendrick will spit him out just like Kyle Bush.

4rum

...feel just like a tight pair o' britches... I'm ready to rip!!!:yh_rotfl

4rum

Side jobs bring in extra money.

4rum

Slow to avoid global warming??? After the April I've just spent... I'd drive like hell to get there!!!

4rum

Poor Monkey woke up in a pickle

His willy had started to tickle

By rubbing slow

The itch wouldn't go

But quick certainly did the trickle

4rum

...................sucker:wah:

4rum

A cute little monkey named Smucker

Took up with a hot lady trucker

While watching her rear

She let him shift gears

Together they backed up that ................

4rum

<t>Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey is mad at the Doc, 
 
It seems he has a wee c#$%, 
 
She like 'em big, 
 
NOT just a twig, 
 
She's shocked the Doc's c#$% is a schlock!! 
 
 
I'm happy for the dismissal of lies 
 
And the falsehoods ...

4rum

<r>Samantha wrote: Sorry to hear of the 'splosion, 
 
Your mojo could suffer erosion, :wah: 
 
Though Sammies not sad, 
 
She's rather quite glad, 
 
Your weenie's now safe from corrosion. <E>:cool:</E> 
 
 
I couldn't abide with the rust 
<br ...

4rum

pigster

Click to view my test results

4rum

<r>abbey wrote: Oh monkey i think thou dost lie, 
 
To use such things, oh why? 
 
You're so well endowed 
 
You'd stand out in a crowd, 
 
It makes me swoon to imagine.....Oh my! 
 
 
My new 'blow up' toy was loaded 
 
So I puffed till 'er ...

4rum

When Monkey last checked his mail

He found orders he'd purchased on sale

The real 'knee slapper'

All in brown wrapper

But batteries would cost him retail

4rum

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.......... abbey has paid a visit

Time to check in izzit?

So happy am I

My seat needs to dry

Her visit has caused me to pizzit :yh_rotfl

4rum

Ol monkey, his head is a scratchin'

Seems no wimmin' he's catchin'

Is it B.O.

That makes 'em all go

Or just a case of 'Miss'- matchin'

4rum

My monkey was put on viagra

His phallus resembled Niagra

But now the ol' geezer

No longer needs tweezers

He's frisky and ready to shag'ya :yh_monkey

4rum

Ol' Monkey said with a grin

Hold your breath, while I stick this in

Wriggle your butt

Suck in your gut

Your pants might stay up with this pin :yh_monkey

4rum

Ol' Monkey was eatin' some 'nanners

(Ya know... monkeys ain't got good manners)

While copping a feeling

He was dropping his peelings

Failed when he tried to enchant'er

4rum

PORNO twenty four seven

Monkey's in hooter heaven

Tooters an' juggs

Toys an' plugs

Sure has his motor revvin' :yh_monkey

4rum

Monkeys should NOT have computers

Computers are porno polluters

Monkeys viewing online

Click all the porn they find

They LOVE all those cyber sized hooters! :yh_monkey

4rum

Once when Ol' Monkey went drinking

He drank way too much without thinking

Next morning his head

Was too big for his bed

With no 'hair of the dog' for it's shrinking

4rum

Some games takes lots of balls

Some... hardly any at all

In order to play

The rules need to say

Who makes the ball breaking calls

4rum

Monkeys 'n monkeys n' monkeys galore

Some in the bed, more on the floor

It's not what you think

Too much to drink

They're passed out, so QUIETLY CLOSE THE DOOR!!!:eek:

4rum

Monkies indulge to excess

When it's smoke or drink I confess

But even they know

When not to show

Sometimes more is less

4rum

Now the monkies are off on a tear

Making monkey shines everywhere

They piddle in troups

Diddle in groups

Running free without a care

4rum

And now off they go to the bushes

With 'hurry along' little pushes

With waggeling winkies

An' tingeling tinkies

And monkey bump sweet little tushes

4rum

Drunken little monkies are choosing

Mates to join in their boozing

Giggles and smiles

Can be heard for miles

Soon undies they'll all be losing

4rum

<r><URL url="http://www.plantcare.com/catalog/tepPlantPage.php?PlantId=294&urlSQL=+where+EntryLabels.SortEntryLabel+LIKE+%27S%25%27+&TotalOffset=186&TotalNum=327"><LINK_TEXT text="http://www.plantcare.com/catalog/tepPla ... talNum=327">http://www.plantcare.com/catalog/tepPlantPage.php?PlantId=294 ...

4rum

Though 'round the kegs they're millin'

The monkey's have started a'grillin'

A bar-b-que

Will now ensue

And welcome to all that's willin'

4rum

Now the beer is starting to flow fast

As 'round frosty mugs are passed

But some of the flowing

Is from everyone 'going'

They're sure killing a lot of grass! :yh_monkey

4rum

I've loaded a basket with chicken

His fingers he'll surely be lickin'

Next to his beer

He holds chicken dear

'Dem bones he'll soon be pickin'

4rum

Down at the lake, monkey's in swimmin'

Got a keg of beer an' some bowlegged wimmin'

Gettin' excited

You're all invited

To a pik-a-nik lunch with all the trimmin'

4rum

I guess that's a womans prerogative

Didn't mean it to sound derrogative

But then again

No slack cut for men

But at least you're lucent and cognitive

4rum

Agreed but at least I'm consistant

Consistant and consistantly persistant

Not Monday hot

Come Tuesday not

ALWAYS the same never distant

4rum

Hmmmm... not a knit I need

Leather's more my speed

With laces and latches

Adjustable catches

So entry they won't impede

4rum

And so her sheath was sorely smitten

Like vaunted glove or furry mitten

Yet by luck

It never stuck

Just snugly to the hilt it's fittin'

4rum

A sword would certainly do the trick

But she better grab it quick

Careful ma'am

The blade'll jam

An' all you'll get is a nasty prick

4rum

Once upon a time in Monkeyville

A silly little monkey forgot her pill

Tummy swole up

Boobs 'D' cup

Should'a been runnin' when she laid still

4rum

Just what we need, monkey in space

Deciding the fate of the whole human race

No stargazer

He's got a laser!

And an evil grin on his face

4rum

<t>Samantha wrote: Before our dear readers get ill, 
 
I think our passions should chill, (just for a few verses) 
 
Lets check on those chimps, 
 
And catch us a glimpse, 
 
Of apes in search of a thrill!! 
 
 
I was just responding to your tease<br ...

4rum

<t>Samantha wrote: That Monkey is really a case, 
 
You think he deserved first place? 
 
If I had a blue bow, 
 
To 4rum it'd go, 
 
He'd certain win MY race. 
 
 
In blue, red or purest white 
 
That lovely bow would rest just right<br ...

4rum

<t>Samantha wrote: The bows have started a fad, 
 
Our Monkey could wake up mad, 
 
The gals at the club, 
 
Tied one 'round his stub, 
 
A black one, now isn't that sad? 
 
 
If you're suggesting that it R.I.P 
 
Seems premature to me<br ...

4rum

<t>Samantha wrote: You may need to put up a dam, 
 
Those juices will cause a jam, 
 
As for the bow, 
 
It's just for show, 
 
I'm really a ham, I am! 
 
 
Well if you've got it... show it 
 
That's my wish, an' you know it 
 
The ...

4rum

No........... the lady and I are not wed.........sigh

We met on this world wide web ................ hi!

One year ago

Our status quo

Into this chaos fled ....oh my :-4

4rum

<r>Samantha wrote: This year has been such a blast, 
 
It flew by incredibly fast, 
 
I gave you a bow, 
 
So you would know, 
 
I think what we have will last! 
 
:-4 
 
 
Yes it's our first anniversary 
 
And it may be time for a ...

4rum

Now ol' monkey is scratchin' his head

How'd he ever get trapped in this thread

Will he ever get out

He's beginning to doubt

But he's still glad to have his 'tale red' :yh_monkey

4rum

<t>Samantha wrote: This year has been such a blast, 
 
It flew by incredibly fast, 
 
I gave you a bow, 
 
So you would know, 
 
I think what we have will last! 
 
:-4 
Let's talk about that bow 
 
And why it torques me so 
 
It's ...

4rum

<t>Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey is back on the prowl, 
 
She's not one to throw in the towel, 
 
She'll go strut her stuff, 
 
And if that's not enuff, 
 
She'll come up with something most foul. 
 
 
If she took her hands away 
 
I wonder ...

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