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Thread: New girl, playing with my heart?

  1. #1
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    New girl, playing with my heart?

    Okay this is a really really complicated situation.

    Met this girl almsot 5 months ago and we started talking and seeing each other. We're in our early 20's, so it's not like we're that young also. She had broken up with her boyfriend, needless to say the guy was an ******* and the breakup was nasty. She made it clear she never wanted to be with him ever again. But she was with him for 2 years and it was her first, now she's heart broken over an ******* and misses/loves him but does not want to be with him again. This came straight out of her mouth. She doesn't even want another relationship until she has completely moved on. We talk almsot every night for over an hour, go over her house to watch movies together, we've even been cuddling and a couple of kisses, nothing more.

    I said okay and respect what she wants and that I understand (not really but okay...). She has said plan out that she likes me a lot, and compared to her ex I am better in almost every aspect imaginable from whatever angle you look at it. The thing though is that I would have normally quit right there but during the course of these 4 months I fell in love with her. I've told her how I felt and she's sorry that she's hurting me by not being ready for another relationship. She even suggested I start seeing other girls a few months ago, but I told her how I felt and how I couldn't do that so easily.

    Now it's 5 months and she has been recently talking to her ex the past 4 weeks, not to get together, but as her way of "moving on." Her ex wanted to get together, and made it clear. But a week ago a friend of this girl announced that her ex and her were officially "together". Now the girl I've been seeing for the past 5 months is furious at her friend hooking up with the ex.

    But the past week, she has been talking to me less and not hanging out. She says she's sorry for being distant and what not. She has promised me to give me a chance to be with her, she said it's not a gurantee or anything.

    Now my question here is, does it really take over 5 months or more for a girl to get over a horrendous relationship from hell she never wants to go back to? And she said she is mad at her friend for betraying her, I dont see anything wrong with her friend dating her ex if she didnt want him ever again and it has been 5 months. What the heck is going on? Is she pplaying with my heart, am I the backup guy incase things dont work out, damn I am so freaking confused. What she says is "im not ready for another relationship" but how she acts with me says "i want to cuddle and kiss you."

    Can anyone please help me, thanks.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Blackjack's Avatar
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    She sounds pretty weak and indecisive. Women (and men too, actually) who say they're not ready for or looking for a relationship will usually make an exception right away for someone they're really attracted to. I'd say forget about her and look for someone else who has a better idea what she wants and won't have as much baggage for you to deal with.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Bill Sikes's Avatar
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    Sorry, but it sounds as though you're on a sticky wicket. It does not sound as though you're going to get anywhere. Difficult indeed to move on, but maybe
    best as a damage-limitation exercise.

  4. #4
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    I agree with this girl that it's pretty tacky of her "friend" to get involved with her ex. Sounds like she's still into him too, so maybe if you give her a little more time, she'll figure out what she wants. Or not. You're young, play the field.

  5. #5
    Senior Member weber's Avatar
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    Gee FMT

    sounds like this gal will only hurt and more as time goes on and you fall harder. Might be nice to take a break and have some fun with the gang or whatever without forgetting her but not falling in love more. Hate to see you hurt more.
    miriam

    Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
    .................Charles Mingus

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?

  6. #6
    LIFE IS SHORT...LIVE HARD Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    Im really sorry but...................
    Your in for a world of hurting. You need to prepare yourself for a fall here in my opinion. Nothing you said indicates she ever stopped loving him regardless of what she may have said. Her actions do indicate that you were there to soften her blow. I dont think she will be there when you fall. You fell in love with her so you were desperately hoping she would reciprocate but it sounds like she just needed someone to help with her own pain. Im not saying thats a bad thing or that she was using you per say, she needed someone and you were there.
    Shes not complete now, she has many loose ends and shes hurting. And now so are you.
    I mean this with care ok ? Stand up dust yourself off kiss her on the cheek and walk out the door. Be a gentleman but stand tall. In other words,
    --->take care of yourself now<---
    Of course this is just my opinion and you do what you think is right.
    Good luck.
    I AM AWESOME MAN

  7. #7
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    Thanks for the replies!

    I knew what I was getting myself into, a world of hurt. I'm torn up inside right now over this girl. I told her straight up that it was my choice to wait for her to be accepting of a new relationship.

    I just don't know if there is anything I can do to change the situation. I've met a TON of girls before and gotten to know them enough to know they weren't for me. But this girl is different and I want to pursue her. She is obviously confused, lol she told me herself.

    I will not stop going after her until she A.)is receptive to a new relationship or B.) finds another guy when she is receptive for another relationship. I'm just looking for something to ease my pain and get this over with as soon as possible lol. What if we didn't talk to each other for a few days or whatever? I'm open to any solutions/

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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    have to agree with the wandering one on this issue i'm afraid buddy i broke

    up with my partner met some one new who was really into me but i just did

    not feel the same , she just is not ready to move on pal end of . her friend

    just reminded her how much she felt for him when she started getting jealous

    over the two of them getting it on .to be honest mate though it hurts you

    have not really lost her for she was never really yours to begin with

    so start again with someone new , its the same old same old we all want

    something we cant have dont we who knows when your suddenly unavailable

    for dating and out of her reach she might just decide she wants you after all

    there is more to life than chasing women chill out buddy they will come

    running to you

  9. #9
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

    You pal,are the rebound guy,or the tweener.Youare just filling a viod until she finds better. You need too move on and get your life together.and Find someone who will give you the attention you need.
    This chick is playing you..You sound like a smart cookie,you know what too do.

  10. #10
    Senior Member weber's Avatar
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    Re: New girl, playing with my heart?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FMT
    Thanks for the replies!

    I knew what I was getting myself into, a world of hurt. I'm torn up inside right now over this girl. I told her straight up that it was my choice to wait for her to be accepting of a new relationship.

    I just don't know if there is anything I can do to change the situation. I've met a TON of girls before and gotten to know them enough to know they weren't for me. But this girl is different and I want to pursue her. She is obviously confused, lol she told me herself.

    I will not stop going after her until she A.)is receptive to a new relationship or B.) finds another guy when she is receptive for another relationship. I'm just looking for something to ease my pain and get this over with as soon as possible lol. What if we didn't talk to each other for a few days or whatever? I'm open to any solutions/
    FMT

    It sounds like you are head over hesls in love with this girl. It seems like it would be in your best interest to move on, but if you really want her that much, you won't be happy until the last insult flies to you. If you continue to pursue her, I wish you the very best of luck and hope it works out. If it doesn't work out, you will carry on and heal and find someone new.........wish I were a little younger
    miriam

    Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
    .................Charles Mingus

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/enter.cfm?

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