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Thread: Why does everyone think im GAY?

  1. #1
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    Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Hi all,

    Now i know this will seem silly to some people, but i just need someone to talk to about it. Ive suffered rumours about my sexuality for years now and its taken its toll and had quite a negative impact on my life (im in my early 30,s). Im 100% hetrosexual, and have nothing against people who are gay, but ive just had so much crap through this, thats left me paranoid and depressed. I had taunts and cloaked gay comments for so long that ive got somekind a paranoid depression over the subject. Ive reacted badly on a few occasions, when ive thought people were saying im gay (when they werent) and this has fueled the rumours even more (i live in very small, clicky town!). I dont act camp at all, or dress in tight clothes etc, but i still seem to get labelled as gay!...It does my head in!!! I know i shouldnt care what people say or think, but thats easier said than done, ive even had comments off my own bl**dy family! It just gets to be that people are constantly trying to label others in some way or another, and people can be quite nasty with thier comments at times.

    I think my main problem is that i look at being thought of as "Gay" as some kind of attack on my masculinity or something. This is pathetic i know, but its true, and also people can be quite horrible at times and i absolutely HATE the little behind-the-back remarks and cloaked comments, but i suppose thats just how some people are.


    Thanks for listening...

  2. #2
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    Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Hi all,

    Now i know this will seem silly to some people, but i just need someone to talk to about it. Ive suffered rumours about my sexuality for years now and its taken its toll and had quite a negative impact on my life (im in my early 30,s). Im 100% hetrosexual, and have nothing against people who are gay, but ive just had so much crap through this, thats left me paranoid and depressed. I had taunts and cloaked gay comments for so long that ive got somekind a paranoid depression over the subject. Ive reacted badly on a few occasions, when ive thought people were saying im gay (when they werent) and this has fueled the rumours even more (i live in very small, clicky town!). I dont act camp at all, or dress in tight clothes etc, but i still seem to get labelled as gay!...It does my head in!!! I know i shouldnt care what people say or think, but thats easier said than done, ive even had comments off my own bl**dy family! It just gets to be that people are constantly trying to label others in some way or another, and people can be quite nasty with thier comments at times.

    I think my main problem is that i look at being thought of as "Gay" as some kind of attack on my masculinity or something. This is pathetic i know, but its true, and also people can be quite horrible at times and i absolutely HATE the little behind-the-back remarks and cloaked comments, but i suppose thats just how some people are.

    Thanks for listening

  3. #3
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    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

    you should not really listen to what other people say about you. as long as you feel good about yourself that is all that counts. i have alot of gay friends and noone says i am gay. do you have a girfriend ? do you hang with alot of guys instead of girls? i just happen to hang with alot of gay men. but, i am also married. i do not see anything wrong with hanging out with gays, they are some of my best friend. everytime i hang with normal men they always seem to hit on me, i hate that. as for your clothes it does not matter what you wear. you should express your own personality. taters wife taz.

  4. #4
    Hamster
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    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Hello T&T and welcome to FG

    Can I ask if it is the same people who taunt you all the time or is it different ones?

    You'll find no taunting here..only understanding and support...

  5. #5
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    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamster
    Hello T&T and welcome to FG

    Can I ask if it is the same people who taunt you all the time or is it different ones?

    You'll find no taunting here..only understanding and support...
    Hi,

    Thanks for your replys, i really appreciate it. Theres been a few main events in my twentys thats really given me a hang-up on the whole gay thing. Firstly, when i was about 23, i was working for Eurotunnel, and on a company day out, a load of people there started saying i was gay (they were all drunk), and it all got abit nasty to be honest. After that experience, i sort of become mentally aware of anyone saying the word "gay" and any other word associated with it (but unfortunately in a negative way).

    Then i lost the plot one nite when i was at a party and became paranoid thinking people were saying i was gay etc (sad i know, but true). There were a few well known people from around the town there and saw me lose it, and this just seemed to explode the rumours even more! It mainly comes from around the small town where i live, so im actually thinking of moving and making a fresh start.

  6. #6
    Hamster
    Guest

    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Quote Originally Posted by T&T
    Hi,

    Thanks for your replys, i really appreciate it. Theres been a few main events in my twentys thats really given me a hang-up on the whole gay thing. Firstly, when i was about 23, i was working for Eurotunnel, and on a company day out, a load of people there started saying i was gay (they were all drunk), and it all got abit nasty to be honest. After that experience, i sort of become mentally aware of anyone saying the word "gay" and any other word associated with it (but unfortunately in a negative way).

    Then i lost the plot one nite when i was at a party and became paranoid thinking people were saying i was gay etc (sad i know, but true). There were a few well known people from around the town there and saw me lose it, and this just seemed to explode the rumours even more! It mainly comes from around the small town where i live, so im actually thinking of moving and making a fresh start.

    Small town mentality can be a little that way can't it? Sometimes people just get bored and pick on whoever is around at the time


    Maybe you could seek some counselling or similar to help you get rid of the associations with the word "gay"?

  7. #7
    flopstock
    Guest

    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Sweetie, I really think you should be talking this over with someone professionally who can help you sort out this stuff that's distressing you. It doesn't sound like it is a minor issue in your life, yet what are the odds that it consumes those around you as much as it does you? Forget what you 'are' or 'are not', I think you need to start feeling comfortable in your own skin and then real or imagined comments won't mean diddly..

    In any case, welcome to the garden. We're an okay bunch.. well except for nomad..

    diane

  8. #8
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    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Quote Originally Posted by T&T
    Hi,

    Thanks for your replys, i really appreciate it. Theres been a few main events in my twentys thats really given me a hang-up on the whole gay thing. Firstly, when i was about 23, i was working for Eurotunnel, and on a company day out, a load of people there started saying i was gay (they were all drunk), and it all got abit nasty to be honest. After that experience, i sort of become mentally aware of anyone saying the word "gay" and any other word associated with it (but unfortunately in a negative way).

    Then i lost the plot one nite when i was at a party and became paranoid thinking people were saying i was gay etc (sad i know, but true). There were a few well known people from around the town there and saw me lose it, and this just seemed to explode the rumours even more! It mainly comes from around the small town where i live, so im actually thinking of moving and making a fresh start.
    Ok ,stop beating around the bush"no pun intended"
    what have you done or are doing that might lead some one too think that way of you.?
    do you dress different? Do you have friends that might be?
    Are you not masculine looking?
    do not lick sports?
    Do you speak in a high pitched and/or a lispy voice?
    SOMETHING has too make people lean that way,what could it be?
    And what does "lost the plot" mean?
    I have some gays at my gym,and if I did not know them well,I would never have a clue?

  9. #9
    Senior Member cherandbuster's Avatar
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    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

    Hi T&T

    It seems that building up your self-confidence would be a good thing for you. That way, you won't be as affected by other people's comments about who you are.

    We are great listeners here. And we are also very supportive.

    It's nice to meet you
    Live Life with
    PASSION
    !




  10. #10
    Senior Member Lulu2's Avatar
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    Re: Why does everyone think im GAY?

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    Welcome to the Garden, T&T.

    First, is this an issue about you being genuinely heterosexual? Or is there any possibility that you might, in fact, be bisexual or homosexual? It certainly doesn't matter to us, but you need to be positive within yourself.

    Have you tried discussing your concerns with a few carefully selected friends? Do you date? Have you ever sought help from a counselor of some sort?
    My candle's burning at both ends, it will not last the night. But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--It gives a lovely light!--Edna St. Vincent Millay

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