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    Senior Member cinamin's Avatar
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    Addictive Personalities

    I've heard of the term "addictive personality" and my x-husband had addictions he could never overcome. He'd get addicted to everything. Not just drugs either. He'd go overboard with everything. I recently left a man who was a recovered addict and x-drug abuser. But he literally replaced his drug addiction with others such as gambling and even admitted to being a sex addict. What is that about?

    I cannot even relate to even being an addict. The closest i came to being addicted to a drug was Vicodin when I dislocated an elbow. That was a good buzz. But I stopped, even when I could use it. And I could then see how a person could like to be on a drug all the time, as it clouded my reality. And I felt fuzzy.

    I guess what i am asking is why and how would a person want to stay addicted to things that control you and alter your quality of life? Is it that their lives are so bad anyway that the addiction is better? And so people hide their addictions from those closest to them? What is this addiction thing really about? Is it all so complicated? It seems like one should just be able to stop.

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    Senior Member guppy's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    its a personality disorder ...plain and simple...its just a part of their makeup

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    Senior Member cinamin's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    Quote Originally Posted by guppy View Post
    its a personality disorder ...plain and simple...its just a part of their makeup
    IS it due to their past? Or their brains, or their genes?

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    Few bricks short... Mystery's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    Quote Originally Posted by cinamin View Post
    I've heard of the term "addictive personality" and my x-husband had addictions he could never overcome. He'd get addicted to everything. Not just drugs either. He'd go overboard with everything. I recently left a man who was a recovered addict and x-drug abuser. But he literally replaced his drug addiction with others such as gambling and even admitted to being a sex addict. What is that about?
    The term addictive personality is sort of redundent, because addiction itself is, in a way, a personality. One who is addicted to one substance has the predisposition to be addicted to anything. What you're speaking of above is switching addictions. That's, just as you described, when an addict finds another "outlet", if you will.

    I cannot even relate to even being an addict. The closest i came to being addicted to a drug was Vicodin when I dislocated an elbow. That was a good buzz. But I stopped, even when I could use it. And I could then see how a person could like to be on a drug all the time, as it clouded my reality. And I felt fuzzy.
    Addicts can't just stop. That's why they're addicts. It's not a personal decision or a choice, as you would think of.

    I guess what i am asking is why and how would a person want to stay addicted to things that control you and alter your quality of life? Is it that their lives are so bad anyway that the addiction is better? And so people hide their addictions from those closest to them? What is this addiction thing really about? Is it all so complicated? It seems like one should just be able to stop.
    It's not that the person wants to stay addicted. In many cases, the knowledge that they are addicted doesn't exist. Denial is extremely powerful. Added to that, it's difficult (speaking as an addict here) to put two and two together. My life wasn't bad at all, until my addiction progressed to a point where it became that way. I had terrific parents, a great family, etc. It was me that was different. Addiction affects your thinking, your livign, your everything. It's not just use of a substance. In fact, the substance used is just a symptom of the actual problem. For me, personally, I hid my addiction because deep down on some other level, I felt shame. But, no matter what, I still couldn't overcome that impulsive and compulsive behavior, and the obsession with getting just one more hit. Addiction is a disease, just like diabetes, or heart disease. It's a chronic and progressive illness that leads to death if left untreated.

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    LIFE IS SHORT...LIVE HARD Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    Addicts can't just stop. That's why they're addicts. It's not a personal decision or a choice, as you would think of.


    Oh ?
    I AM AWESOME MAN

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    Few bricks short... Mystery's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    No, it's a compulsion...an obsession. "as you would think of" being the operative phrase. Once the line of dependence is crossed, it becomes a using to live situation rather than a recreational activity. Now, once they're made aware of the problem, and then offered an alternative and a solution, some may make the choice to go back to it, but that's part of the obsession as well. It's a vicious cycle, as I'm sure you're aware.

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    Senior Member cinamin's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    Thanks, that has given me some insight.

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    Senior Member sharedfastlane's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    Mystery that's interesting.

    Since, I think around 16 my husband has been dependent on chemicals and I always thought it was something he needed healing from. His childhood was pretty ropey, given away as a baby because in that era an unwed mum was shunned, but taken back a week later. His adopting Father was closed off emotionally and later drank heavily and beat his Mum ...so cutting a long story....he despises counselling and said at around 17 a counsellor tried to touch him inappropriately so his Mother had to terminate the sessions.We have had some right royal rows and I have hated being lied to. In a way now he has to take so many drugs for a heart condition and rest up so the matter has rather petered out. I suppose there isn't one way that works for everyone is there? And as you say some folk are in denial. Should I watch out for anything with our children?Can you recommend anything I can read look up online please?

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    Not just a sheeple nvalleyvee's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystery View Post
    No, it's a compulsion...an obsession. "as you would think of" being the operative phrase. Once the line of dependence is crossed, it becomes a using to live situation rather than a recreational activity. Now, once they're made aware of the problem, and then offered an alternative and a solution, some may make the choice to go back to it, but that's part of the obsession as well. It's a vicious cycle, as I'm sure you're aware.
    GEEZ............I hate to agree with you........but I have have many addictions in my life.............most of them compulsive mental thoughts and not full blown chemical addictions.

    When I drove a lot of miles I would play an alphabet game......finding any word on sign posts from A-Z. It took me months and months to stop playing that game in my head when I quit driving 800 miles a day. I find myself doing stupid stuff like that in my head all the time.............I accidentally see a pattern and then compulsively look for it. I have to stop myself!
    The growth of knowledge depends entirely on disagreement..........Karl R. Popper

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    Senior Member cinamin's Avatar
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    Re: Addictive Personalities

    Some addicts find the Lord. And they say that cures them. But does it really? Or do they then find another addiction and just get rid of the addiction that is killing them? I mean, there are a lot of things one can become addicted to.....gambling, sex, can anyone think of any other addictions? Heck even the Internet.

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