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View Poll Results: Vote for the winner of the butter poem

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  • Pinky

    4 23.53%
  • zinky

    1 5.88%
  • WonderWendy

    0 0%
  • Soberano

    2 11.76%
  • Chookie

    2 11.76%
  • spot

    2 11.76%
  • magenta flame

    2 11.76%
  • chonsigirl

    3 17.65%
  • Tater Tazz

    1 5.88%
  • Sheryl

    0 0%
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Thread: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

  1. #1
    anomaly
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    FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    I'm going to specialize this game into subjects.

    FG has a bunch of poets and a bunch of incredibly witty people so here's the game:
    • Enter a poem in the competition that is at least 5 lines and no more than 12
    • The poem must use the word "butter" and be funny
    • A poll will be added in one week to vote for the funniest poem
    • You can only enter one poem so make sure it is the one

    Good Luck!

    Anyone who feels like playing the Simon Cowell of poetry can comment in the commentary thread.
    link
    This thread is for contestants only.

  2. #2
    Pinky
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    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    Okay, here's mine:

    Koan gave us the idea to write
    of the things you can do with butter
    but try as hard I might
    I can't get my mind out of the gutter.

    You can use it to grease your pan
    you can smear it on your meat
    Tell me - who isn't a fan
    of buttery toast to eat?

    For a tasty mouthful you should select
    a big old knob of butter -
    well, what kind of poem did you expect
    from your resident FG nutter?

  3. #3
    Senior Member zinkyusa's Avatar
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    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    I likes to rub girlies with butter;
    but please no one tell my mutter.
    Cuz she'll let out a shout!
    Make me pull it out,
    and cut off my putter and nutters!!

    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

  4. #4
    Senior Member WonderWendy3's Avatar
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    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    There once was a man from nantucket
    He was a dairy farmer
    who carried his butter in a bucket
    Yes, he was a charmer

    One day he fell down the hill
    tripped over a rock
    and the butter did spill
    lucky for him he caught it in his sock.

    Lesson to be learned here and now
    when handling butter
    Should have listened to Betsy the cow
    Become a shoe salesman and step away from the Utter.

  5. #5
    Soberano
    Guest

    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    Ahem...

    I dated a girl of beauty and class

    My heart thumped and shattered as if made of glass

    Each time we met my love continued to grow

    So one day i took it out and gave her a show

    Butter Father was watching from behind the door

    He said "Take that you twat" as i hit the floor.


    Not bad for a first attempt he.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Chookie's Avatar
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    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    Pinky loves the whips of leather
    She even loves the bloody weather.
    Pinky is gorgeous, Pinky is great,
    Pinky's a dolly, Pinky's a mate.
    Pinky does curse and Pinky does rave
    when butter's applied, Pinky's depraved.
    An ye harm none, do what ye will....

  7. #7
    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    I should never have whipped this off. I hope I'm excused for a momentary aberration.

    For a woman who says she's refined
    Lady Grace ought to make up her mind
    If she's put on her back
    She just yawns and goes slack
    But she screams if you butt'er behind.
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

  8. #8
    magenta flame
    Guest

    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    Koan mentioned the word butter
    And suddenly I became all a flutter.
    You put cold butter on the lumps on your head
    Some people even use it in bed
    I've heard people say, I've heard them utter
    Throw out that margerine and give me butter

    SO hail the cow and hail the cream
    And hail the bloke in the butter fact-ory
    So lets tuck in to our butter and bread
    And we'll all sleep soundly when we go to bed



    yes I'm aware that was stupid

  9. #9
    I think, therefore I post chonsigirl's Avatar
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    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    crunch time
    when hunger hits,
    below the ample belt,
    don’t ration out peanut butter!
    bread loaf,
    smoothed gently over every slice
    with sweet ambrosia,
    sprinkled with
    jelly



    This is in the form of a BUTTERfly Cinquain


  10. #10
    Senior Member Tater Tazz's Avatar
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    Re: FG's Got Talent - The Poetry Round 1

    Register to remove this ad.
    When she gazed into his eyes and saw him sweetly smile, her heart would really flutter. But, alas, all she could think of was that guy from the butter.

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