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Thread: Mother-In-Law ?

  1. #11
    Senior Member A Karenina's Avatar
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    Hi kookieq Excellent point about not intruding. I will have to remind myself that I won't step in where it's not my business.

    Well, I met the girl. She is SO pretty! If they marry, I will have lovely brown-eyed grandkids.

    I liked how they interacted together - very comfortable. My son is very gentle with her, and he tries hard to make her smile. It doesn't take much to make her smile, so points for them both.

    She said that she was very nervous meeting me, but after a half hour or so she felt comfortable with me. I was very glad to hear this, and gave her a big hug. Of course, that probably scared her all over again! LOL

    I asked what she wanted to be, and she replied that she wants to be in the FBI. She was nervous about telling me this, since I was a stay-at-home mom and she knows it. I simply looked at my son and told him that he'd better be good if he's gonna be with a woman who knows how to use a gun. We all laughed.

    My son has this terrible habit of trying to herd your opinion to match his opinion.
    He asked her what she wanted to do after lunch.
    She said she wanted to go to the Rose Garden to see Mt Hood (it was a clear day, rare this time of year).
    He said that the IMAX movie at the museum started at 3.
    She said she knew that.
    He said that they should go to the IMAX movie as planned.
    She said she would like to see Mt Hood.
    He was silent for a minute.

    I swear this happened...he said, "I think we'll go to the Rose Garden. I get the feeling that you would like to see Mt Hood."

    I grinned at them both, and told my crazy child that I thought he was right, she does want to see Mt Hood.

    He was so proud of himself, huge grin. She and I laughed. He didn't know why, but he didn't care. He just seemed happy that she and I got along so well.

    So, I like her very much, and she seems to like me, too. Yay!
    We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
    Aristotle

  2. #12
    Senior Member BabyRider's Avatar
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    AK it sounds like you're off to a good start with her!
    I hope I can do as well when my son starts dating. I'm a "tad" protective, and no matter how old they get, they are still our children.
    No matter what I KNOW I'll never be as whacko as my own MIL!!!
    I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
    ~Darrel Worley~






    Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????

    We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.



  3. #13
    Senior Member A Karenina's Avatar
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    You'll be great, BabyR. Your love for him pours through every time you write about him. Protective? You probably are, and nothing wrong with that. But when he meets a girl and his eyes shine like they did at Christmas when he was 3...you'll be just as happy for him as he is.

    And I won't mention the part where you go kick her a** if she breaks his heart. I'm just kidding. My son has been through one, only one, thank goodness. They do survive and they do learn, and I swear it's harder on us because we can only watch, and make their favorite dinner.

    Since we're chatting, I haven't found your job update yet. Any news?
    We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
    Aristotle

  4. #14
    Senior Member BabyRider's Avatar
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    Thanks for the vote of confidence! You're more sure of me than I am! Someone hurts my family and I'm a bit of a nut.
    The job is still on hold I talked to them yesterday and they are still conducting interviews. I sent a note after the working interview thanking them for their time, yada yada, and made a follow-up call after that. Maybe they'll hire me just to shut me up!! As soon as I hear, I'll be sure to update everyone. Thanks for thinking of me!!
    I hope you cherish this sweet way of life, and I hope you know that it comes with a price.
    ~Darrel Worley~






    Bullet's trial was a farce. Can I get an AMEN?????

    We won't be punished for our sins, but BY them.



  5. #15
    kookieq
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    A Karenina, I am sooo glad to hear that your meeting with your sons girlfriend went better then expected. His relationship with her will be much healthier knowing the two women in his life, and love, can get along. I always preach to my 4 sons to always respect each other and the in laws. Sounds like you will do very well.
    BabyRider, I was and still am very protective of my sons. I'm not saying they haven't done something that I didn't agree with and standing back is very hard to do but in the end they respect you for it. I have had my sons and dil come to me for advice and the dil's won't go to their own mothers. This makes me feel very much loved by them.
    A Karenina your meeting just brings memories of my first meeting with my mil. That meeting went very well. She had invited me to dinner and wanted me to take my two children (from my first marriage). I decided it was not wise to take my kids on my first date with the future in laws and I'm glad I did'nt. The meeting with my fil did not go very well at the begining. He had had a stroke and could not speak and when I walked in his house my husband introduced me to his father. He refused to shake hands with me and made gestures with his hands for me to leave. You see my husband had never been married and did not have any children so he did not want his son to marry with a ready made family. My mil told him I was not going to leave so I was asjed to sit down and after about 10 minutes my husband and his mom left for the kitchen to "check on dinner" and we are left alone. I didn't know what to say to this man let alone communicate with him but did my darnest. I was very nervous and was not too happy with my husband and his mom for doing this to me. But I guess I stole his heart because by the end of the evening my fil gave me a big hug and invited me to come again and bring my kids. They were such loving folks they treated my kids just like their own grandchildren. My kids loved them both. I couldn't have had better in-laws and as I said before, I learned from them. We now laugh about it and I sure didn't let my husband forget. We have been married 26 years now. Both my in laws are now deceased and at times I do miss my mil. She always made me feel special.
    My expirence with my first mil was not very good so I was not going to take any chances with the second in laws. We argued, she threatened me, intimedated me and her son was a spoiled brat he always sided with her. There was no fil in this marriage.

  6. #16
    anomaly
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    My mother is a horrible MIL. I was just warning my beau that the last time she talked to a boyfriend (first convo) she told him that my daughter would always come first...before his son. And she hoped he understood that.

    She even made it sound like she was talking for me as well.




    I was so choked I couldn't speak with her for over a month.

    I have a saying now refined to

    Don't drink and dial. It can be fatal.

  7. #17
    Senior Member persephone's Avatar
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    I've had two serious long term relationships, the first I was engaged... The first potential MIL was small and worn down by the men in the family, I know how judgemental this is, but I found her to be weak. In my family women are the stronger type, her husband beat the kids for no reason and she done nothing to stop it and other stuff like that. I also found her to be suffocating. She was though at the end of the day a lovely woman.

    The second had mediterian blood and drama queen is not the word... Mental health problems coming out of her ears, the mafia are after her you know.
    It was always like walking on egg shells when ever she was about, and the family denied it was happeneing, she is however someone I would under normal circumstanses get on with and be scared off.
    Bad Girls have very high standards, but they love you even if you sometimes fall short.

  8. #18
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    What Ive heard my whole life is true. Its a bummer to have sons marry. Because if the daughter in laws dont keep in touch.. your left twisting in the wind. We are Yankees my sons and myself. New York through and through. Both boys married very quiet reserved southern girls.The girls both led very restricted lives growing up. The two daughter in laws are intimidated by me. Not because Im over bearing or meddling (I live 9 hours away from them) just because they are not accoustomed to my personality. They also find the close relationship that my sons and I have a little odd. We are close because I was a single parent, and it is a different bond, than coming from an intact family. t would be great if I could have had a daughter in law to be closer to. But I feel as long as the boys are happy, thats good enough for me. The mother in laws I have had have been enablers.
    Having too much to do with their sons lives, picking up the pieces of every failure.
    Didnt allow their sons to become men. Which of course paved the way for failed relationships. Quite un healthy and sad. Difficult to be involved with these tormented individuals.Mothers and Mother in Laws have a lot of power.

  9. #19
    slushpuppy
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    My MIL is great and I love her loads, even if she is a bit mad, especially after a couple of glasses of wine! She's getting married again in 3 weeks time and my daughter, her grandaughter, is a bridesmaid. Her first husband, my hubby's father, was a monster for reasons I can't go into right now, her second husband, whom my children regarded as their papa, died of cancer 6 years ago and now she's marrying a toy-boy 15 years younger than her. He's only about 4 yrs older than her daughter! Good luck to her I say, if anyone deserves happiness, its my MIL. Not too keen on her choice of husband but then I'm not the one marrying him! I'll let you all know how the wedding goes, specially cos my dad is coming and you don't know about my dad!!! Waaahhh!

  10. #20
    superstar minks's Avatar
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    Re: Mother-In-Law ?

    Register to remove this ad.
    I am happy to admit I have no Legal MIL wahoooo cause the one I used to have has become itch with a b and I hope some day she pays dearly for her abandoning her grand children.
    �You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
    ― Mae West

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