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Thread: Im leaving my son behind...

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Im leaving my son behind...

    Well those of you who have known me for a long time, are familiar with some of the trials and tribulations Ive gone through with my younger son. ( 23 )
    I have had him with me ( alone) since hes 5.... He left once for a couple of years, after marrying a girl he had known for about 5 weeks. That of course did not last... Hes never been off my payroll. At one point I had he and his wife, as dependants. After returning to Virginia 26 months ago, I took him in once again... footed all of the living expenses, and gave him all of that time to " Grow up, and get on his feet" It is interesting to note, that NOONE has ever done that for me. I have begged him repeatedly to get his own place... finally... I have made the decision to leave. I have gotten a new place. There are many reasons for the move. Closer to work etc...... But also, in a way.. I am running from him. This is actually going to be like a divorce. It is also sort of like getting out of an abusive situation, as he is very difficult to live with, has absolutely no regard for my property, or my privacy, and he bleeds me dry financially. Im like a kid... looking forward to having a tiny place, all my own... with nobodys mess to clean up but my own. Im scared too. I keep feeling like crying. Despite things being quite awful, quite often.. I am going to miss him. I am a co dependant personality. So, in many ways this move is like Im fighting for my life, or to have a life. I thought I was cured of this character flaw, many many years ago. Evidently, there is no cure. You can relapse over and over again. Give me strength. I am running out of time.

  2. #2
    ALOHA..!! CARLA's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    You can do this Weeder, I know you can and you both will be better off in the long run. You will see things will change for the better. You have to take care of you first.
    ALOHA!!
    MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
    "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
    WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"


  3. #3
    Senior Member kayleneaussie's Avatar
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    I agree.....You can do it weeder, its now time for you to have me time and enjoy life. I had to do a similar thing with my eldest son many years ago but he was 26 at the time. It ended up, after time being the best thing I have ever done for both him and myself. He is 33 now and has finally grown up.
    Good luck Weeder

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    Senior Member Patsy Warnick's Avatar
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    Weeder

    Your in a unfortunate situation - and it's like a divorce - moving is a great idea...!!

    You'll love your own space - great idea - I'm glad to hear your decision.

    So, do you plan on renting the other place to your son ? or is your son moving elsewhere?

    Be strong - this is the only solution

    Patsy

  5. #5
    Jester2
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    Stay tough Weeder!

    It sounds like both you and he needs this! He wont grow up till you force it on him.

    (((hugs)))

  6. #6
    Long Time Member cars's Avatar
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    Good Luck Weed, hope it all works out for you, you deserve it already!
    Well hope you kept your new addy a secret from your son. Or else when he gets dispossed from your old place, or wherever, he'll be wanting to move into your new place.
    It's never easy with relatives, but it's called "tough love"!
    Cars
    <"LIFE is SHORT, Make the most of it!!!" GET OUTTA HERE!>
    <Love living Large!>
    <Home is where you're treated the best, but complain the most!>

  7. #7
    Supporting Member Chezzie's Avatar
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    Best of luck Weeder...Your too strong to not see this through and make the best of it..I know once your settled you will feel much better, healthier and wealthier lol...He can always come an visit, or you can meet up somewhere and get your relationship back on track....

    LEAVING YOU
    © Randy Dix

    Leaving you will be so hard
    I know that we will be scarred.
    Through the years we have grown up
    Now we are about to split up.
    It hurts me inside
    To know that you will confide
    In someone else who isn't me
    But they will never be what I try to be.
    I'll always be there for you
    And I'll always stay true.
    You are a part of me
    That everyone will see.
    You are my son and friend
    And we'll be that way until the end.
    Don't ever let anyone take my place
    Because they will never face
    All the times that we've shared
    Even when we never really cared.
    All our memories will be locked up tight
    Even all our stupid fights.
    The laughs, the tears, the cries, the fears
    Have built up through the years.
    I'll never let us be apart
    And you will always remain in my heart.

  8. #8
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    He is going to take over my apartment, with a friend as a room mate. Ive got my fingers crossed that this will finally be what he needs to make it on his own. I have an older son who over the years has been quite hurt by all the attention I have shown his brother. There never has been time for him.
    I am looking forward to being able to perhaps spend some time with him. And its funny cars.... my family keeps telling me.. Dont give him your new address!!Im only moving 33 miles away. Another sleepy little country town, but I am going to be able to walk to work. Thats eliminating 400.00 a month that I have been spending on gas. I am ( for the umpteenth time ) going to leave him everything I can, to give him a start. Towels, dishes, etc..... and I really do hope he does make it. I know he needs me to do this. Its really amazing, I left home when I was 19, and never looked back. I wanted to go. I loved being responsible, and grown up. I dont think he inherited the independance gene..... we will see.

  9. #9
    LIFE IS SHORT...LIVE HARD Nomad's Avatar
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    I AM AWESOME MAN

  10. #10
    Senior Member Pheasy's Avatar
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    Re: Im leaving my son behind...

    Register to remove this ad.
    You are not running away from your son Weeder You are doing what, eventually, every parent needs to do. You have dedicated the last 23 years of your life to your son, and now it is time for him to become an adult. And for you to live your life.

    At some point during my teenage years I had the confidence and desire to step out on my own, making my own decisions and being accountable for my actions. My Mum did not run away. She was still there to love me, and a shoulder to cry on - she just was no longer my decision maker and no longer responsible for my actions. Go careful that he still does not expect this of you (a different roof over your head does not make the difference, although it helps, its breaking certain ties).

    Good Luck, you seem like a wonderful person. Now you are free to show the rest of the world what Weeder can do - go get um, and have fun

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