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Thread: Secrets

  1. #1
    anomaly
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    Secrets

    I'm not one to be interested in other people's secrets. When asked if I can keep a secret I generally say no. I find that people tell me anyway but then I don't have the burden of having to worry about whatever it is they think they're hiding. I have enough stress already. I gave up on secrets when I was a teenager. I remember working really hard to avoid giving anything away... though I don't recall the particular secret... then had a few other people come up and ask if I'd heard about it. I realised the person I'd been "working" for had gone around spreading her own secret and I'd wasted my worry for nothing.

    I don't go around blurting things out for no reason but, unless it's close friend or family... what the heck are they telling me for anyway??

  2. #2
    Senior Member Elvira's Avatar
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    Re: Secrets

    Don't know what prompted this post but I've got to agree with most of it.

    I do have a couple of people who speak to me in confidence, for advice or because they want to get something off their chest, but I know them well, and if they tell me something in confidence, I know it's because they need to rather than want to.

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    Senior Member Accountable's Avatar
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    Re: Secrets

    I think it's important keep confidential information confidential. It pains me when people raise gossip to that same level. Anytime someone asks me if I can keep a secret I know that gossip is coming, so I say "not if it's gossip." Those that know me know they don't have to ask me that question if it's something important.

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    anomaly
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    Re: Secrets

    It was prompted by a new coworker that I just finished training, who's only been there a week, deciding to tell me that she's got an interview for another job that she really wants. She expected me to be happy for her but I know that our employer will start adjusting schedules now that she's trained. And they just put out money to train her.

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    anomaly
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    Re: Secrets

    I put it under philosophy because I'm more interested in the philosophy behind such social situations than the actual situation itself.

    There are loyalty issues. Not to prove anything to my employer but to assist their business.

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    Senior Member Accountable's Avatar
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    Re: Secrets

    That's true. The decision to keep or betray a secret is a decision of loyalty. Anyone who stopped a second to remember that would probably make better decisions.

  7. #7
    anomaly
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    Re: Secrets

    I feel more loyalty to my employer and she should have known that when she told me. She didn't ask me to keep a secret yet it is implied.

    Telling the employer would likely appear to be brown nosing. Not telling the employer wouldn't appear as anything since they don't know I'm not telling them something. When I mentioned something about them having to find someone else again she indicated that she hoped they would allow her to work part time but they just finished hiring her as full time. We don't have part time employees.

    Because there are unknown aspects to what the result will be, even if she'll get the other job or not, I think it's just gossip at the moment.

    I should probably make it clear to her that I don't want her to share her secrets with me. She's not even really that good at the job. Obviously because she doesn't care much about it. Young people. *sigh*

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    Senior Member Accountable's Avatar
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    Re: Secrets

    Quote Originally Posted by koan View Post
    I feel more loyalty to my employer and she should have known that when she told me. She didn't ask me to keep a secret yet it is implied.

    Telling the employer would likely appear to be brown nosing. Not telling the employer wouldn't appear as anything since they don't know I'm not telling them something. When I mentioned something about them having to find someone else again she indicated that she hoped they would allow her to work part time but they just finished hiring her as full time. We don't have part time employees.

    Because there are unknown aspects to what the result will be, even if she'll get the other job or not, I think it's just gossip at the moment.

    I should probably make it clear to her that I don't want her to share her secrets with me. She's not even really that good at the job. Obviously because she doesn't care much about it. Young people. *sigh*
    I thought you weren't interested in the situation itself.

    Tell her that if the boss starts adjusting schedules because he mistakenly thinks he has his problems solved, you will have to tell him, just to keep the place from chaos. She should have the loyalty to stay with the company that trained her, at least awhile.

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    Proud American Peg's Avatar
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    Re: Secrets

    When I want something to be known at work, I usually start out with, "Don't tell anybody". Usually by the end of the week, everyone knows. Sad, but true.

  10. #10
    anomaly
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    Re: Secrets

    Register to remove this ad.
    The philosophy behind it for me is this: I'm not her friend, I'm her coworker. If she doesn't have the self discipline to keep herself from telling me then why would she expect me to exercise more self discipline than she was able to? I work for the company. When she told me she told the company.

    One of the reasons they like me is because I really care about my job. I don't see a lot of that in the world anymore. People take jobs they don't want and then dislike the employer because they aren't happy.

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