I am an observer of people, not a stalker mind you, just an observer. One of the places I observe is in the locker room of my gym; yes it is men I am observing in various states of undress. Now don’t get the wrong idea about all this observing, it’s purely research (not that there’s anything wrong with other observations).

What I have observed is that people dress very differently, no not what they wear but how they wear it and how they place it on their body.

First there is the towel. When you come out of the shower in a semi public place (assuming you have had the joy of that endeavor), what do you do with the towel? Wrapping it around your waist would be a good guess, but that is only one option. There are those who simply drape it from neck to floor in which case the view from the front is far more appealing than from behind. There is the fling it over the should kind of guy which does no good except to create the Roman Emperor look and finally there is the drag it on the floor behind me strategy which one has to wonder about. Is the guy just showing off and if so, what?

Now we have made it out of the shower and ready to dress. Oh, I forgot there is another dilemma, does one dry in the shower, just in front of the shower or drip all the way to the locker and dry among everyone’s clothes? I’m a kind of do your best in the shower kind of guy myself.

Back to the dressing part, what goes on first? I always hope it is the underwear and in all fairness that is often the case, but there are variations to be sure. Today I observed the bottom up style, this entails sitting ones bare ass on the bench and putting on socks first thus delaying any further cover up as long as possible and leaving a spot on the bench where the next guys has to sit. That’s kind of like eating in a restaurant when you know that every night then turn the chairs upside down and put the seat right where they are going to put your plate the next day.

We also have the top down. This is where the shirt goes on first leaving the bottom half to no ones imagination. Hey, if you got it flaunt it, but gee whiz pick your audience will ya! There is an extreme to this method and that is the guy who puts on his undershirt, dress shirt and then tie all while swinging in the breeze, give me a break.

Wait I forgot one, leave the shower, dry off and then saunter to the scale and weigh your self stark naked, like a pair of shorts makes a difference. I hope that guy gained five pounds.

Now here is the correct method. Towel around waist after drying in the shower, shorts on first, then undershirt, socks next (ok, shirt next optional), shirt, and pants followed by shoes. I used to put the shoes on first and then it dawned on me that may be the reason it was difficult to get my pants on.

I was going to continue my research in the ladies locker room, but thought better of it. However, I suspect it is a bit more complicated.