I have been contemplating a serious issue. Which is the dumbest car (vehicle) in America? Admittedly there are a number of candidates, like the Viper or some of those ugly boxes that look like jazzed up hearses, but on reflection they have their special niche.

So, I have narrowed my selection for the dumbest car in America to the Cadillac Escalade and the Hummer, both of which start at about $58,000.

And the winner is…the Escalade!

The Hummer after all makes no bones about what it is, a big ugly 8,000 pound truck like vehicle that makes little pretense of being a luxury vehicle, quite the contrary as part of the appeal is the rugged, adventure, military ambiance.

Back to the Escalade, why would anyone in their right mind buy a truck that pretends to be a luxury car and spend upwards of $60,000 to do so? Actually some models start at nearly $80,000. On the other hand, that includes a 10-speaker Bose® 5.1 Cabin Surround® Sound System with CD/DVD player and in-dash 6-disc CD changer; Tri-zone automatic electronic climate control; and more.

No doubt they are all essential for climbing mountains, transporting cargo across the desert and maneuvering in standing water.

I couldn’t find the EPA mileage figures on the Cadillac site Wonder why?), but another site said it was 9 city and 14 on the highway and hey, with 409 horsepower that seems reasonable. It has a 26 gallon tank so you are free to roam for about 234 miles, while listening to your Bose® surround sound system. And from what I have experienced at a volume that is sufficiently loud to drown out any calls of, “Hey stupid, don’t you know there is a gas crisis?”

Plug in your iPod, activate your hands free phone, set your GPS and head for the nearest nail salon all in the comfort your your grand off road vehicle.

There is on advantage of owning an Escalade, when your home is in foreclosure, the darn thing is big enough to live in for a few months…and in the luxury to which you have become accustomed.