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Thread: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

  1. #1
    Senior Member Touchstone's Avatar
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    Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    Even when I was still married I hated going shopping with my wife. When I wanna buy something I drive to the store; go directly to the right department, make my purchase and leave. But with my wife the scenario would go like this:

    I am seated in my favourite armchair in front of the TV set waiting for the game to start.

    Enter Donna from right. “Ryan honey please won’t you drive me down to the store?”

    Me: “Baby the game is about to start. You have a perfectly good automobile and you can drive. Why do you want me to drive you?”

    Donna: “Sweetie I like it when you come with me. Please! It won’t take long because I only have to buy that yellow top I told you about last week.”

    Me: ”You only gonna buy the top Donna … NOTHING else?”

    Donna: “Just the yellow top honey.”

    Me: “You sure baby?”

    Donna: “Of course baby.”

    Why are married men so gullible? So I drive Donna to the store, park and turn off the ignition.

    Me: “So go already honey. I’ll wait here in the car.

    Donna: “No Baby I want you to come in with me. You know I hate shopping alone. I don't want people to think I’m a loose woman or a hooker. Come on”

    Yeah right. With her drop dead looks and ramp model figure exactly nobody is gonna think she’s a hooker. A high-class call girl maybe but never a hooker!

    Donna: “Come on. I swear I’ll be quick as a flash.”

    We get out the auto and she hangs onto my arm as we walk into the store just in case she’s mistaken for a loose woman.

    Now the distance between the entrance and the clothing department is about maybe forty yards so I figure we’ll be in and out quickly. But hold on! There’s body scrub and moisturiser to be bought first and lipstick and nail varnish. Forty five minutes have passed since we entered the store.

    Me: “Donna baby … you said …”

    Donna: “Oh don’t be such a grouch Ryan. The time has flown. I told you I wouldn't be long.”

    And so the forty-yard walk to the yellow top takes the best part of an hour and when we get there they all sold out. I in the meantime am pushing a trolley so full of Donna's purchases that the store detective is following me to make sure I pay!

    Donna: “Damn! I really wanted the yellow one. I look so sexy in yellow. Now I'm going to have to find something else. Come on baby.”

    And that is why I hate shopping with a woman.

    Ryan.
    I don't want to press "1" for English. This is America!

    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American GI. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

    "History teaches that when you become indifferent and lose the will to fight someone who has the will to fight will take over." COLONEL BULL SIMONS

  2. #2
    Senior Member Odie's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    why I hate shopping with mine:

    It's fine, take it.

  3. #3
    Proud American Peg's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    I hate shopping so I'm thinking I wouldn't want to go with Donna either.

  4. #4
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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    Here in britain, it is against the law for men not to accompany their wive's and girlfriends when shopping. It is law that men have to spend hours gazing moronically while their woman trie's on at least 25 outfits and matching shoe's and handbags. Men also by law have to accompany women on grocery shopping. This is so they can push the Cart with the wonkey wheel, bump into small children and do the queuing at the check-out while Mrs browses in the cd department. He must then load all the shopping intp bags and carry them to the car and un-load and put the grocerie's away when home.
    Whilst out shopping, the man must always say 'Yes Hun, your bum will look great in those denims' or he will be arrested under British law.
    Women upon reaching the check-out must also state they have left their purse at home so Mr has to pay the bill.

    It works very well here in britain, so Touchstone, get off your butt and go and help your loved one with the shopping,

  5. #5
    Senior Member Touchstone's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by oscar View Post
    Here in britain, it is against the law for men not to accompany their wive's and girlfriends when shopping. It is law that men have to spend hours gazing moronically while their woman trie's on at least 25 outfits and matching shoe's and handbags. Men also by law have to accompany women on grocery shopping. This is so they can push the Cart with the wonkey wheel, bump into small children and do the queuing at the check-out while Mrs browses in the cd department. He must then load all the shopping intp bags and carry them to the car and un-load and put the grocerie's away when home.
    Whilst out shopping, the man must always say 'Yes Hun, your bum will look great in those denims' or he will be arrested under British law.
    Women upon reaching the check-out must also state they have left their purse at home so Mr has to pay the bill.

    It works very well here in britain, so Touchstone, get off your butt and go and help your loved one with the shopping,


    Or as you say in England:

    "Fat chance!"


    Ryan.
    I don't want to press "1" for English. This is America!

    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American GI. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

    "History teaches that when you become indifferent and lose the will to fight someone who has the will to fight will take over." COLONEL BULL SIMONS

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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Touchstone View Post
    Or as you say in England:

    "Fat chance!"


    Ryan.
    We have a new generation in England now... It's more like F**k OFF!!

  7. #7
    Caitriona Eibhlin Kathy Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    Oh Touchstone...You'd love shopping with me

    I'm in and out in no time...no muckin about

    The worse person I went shopping with was my niece....We went into a local store....I wizzed through the place and bought tons of stuff. Later, I looked all over for my niece and found her STILL at the 1st counter

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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kathy Ellen View Post
    Oh Touchstone...You'd love shopping with me

    I'm in and out in no time...no muckin about

    The worse person I went shopping with was my niece....We went into a local store....I wizzed through the place and bought tons of stuff. Later, I looked all over for my niece and found her STILL at the 1st counter
    I went shopping once with a friend and i must admit, she drove me mad and i said 'never again. She was a health freak so she was reading every label on every food item for content, weight, carbo's etc etc.

  9. #9
    Caitriona Eibhlin Kathy Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by oscar View Post
    I went shopping once with a friend and i must admit, she drove me mad and i said 'never again. She was a health freak so she was reading every label on every food item for content, weight, carbo's etc etc.

    Oh, I do hate shopping except for furniture and food

  10. #10
    Senior Member Hope6's Avatar
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    Re: Why I Hate Shopping With A Woman.

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    I don't linger when i shop, i don't like shopping all that well and i'm usually much to busy to take the time.

    but my mother-in-law is a different story!

    i go shopping with her and she goes up and down every aisle in the store and it seems like she looks at every item on every shelf!

    i lost her in a store once, looked the whole store over and found her still in the first aisle!

    then she can't make up her mind if she wants something so she has to keep going back and looking at it again!

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