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Thread: The college theme paper

  1. #1
    Supporting Member Rapunzel's Avatar
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    The college theme paper

    This is a story, not a joke, so should be allowed. Okay?

    "Today we will experiment with a new form of composition called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.

    Remember to reread what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
    Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    STORY:
    (first paragraph by Rebecca)

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    (second paragraph by Gary)

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    (Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    (Gary)

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    (Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    (Gary)

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of ********** TEA??? Oh no, I'm an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    (Rebecca)

    *******.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    (Gary)

    Bitch.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    (Rebecca)

    Wanker.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    (Gary)

    Slut.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    (Rebecca)

    Get ********d.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    (Gary)

    Eat s**t.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    (Rebecca)

    ******* YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
    --------------------------------------------------------
    (Gary)

    Go drink some tea - whore.
    ************************************************** ***********

    (Teacher) A+ - I really liked this one.

  2. #2
    Supporting Member along-for-the-ride's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper



    Reminds me of this old Saturday Night Live skit, "Point-Counter Point":

    YouTube - ANL Point-Counterpoint on Nuclear Power generation , Jane Curtin and Dan Akroyd

    Warning: Adult content.


    Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.

  3. #3
    Senior Member AussiePam's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    Nice to have something to laugh about.

    Rappy - I was out swimming early this morning - we're still in summer here and the water is great - and I suddenly thought of you, realised I hadnt seen you in here for a while and hoped all was good with you.

  4. #4
    Senior Member AussiePam's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    [Quote deleted as original was deleted for trolling] deleted by G#Gill

    Blimey, Rap, I'd have thought jokes were the least of our troubles. If proliferation is the problem, why the heck not can all those appallingly mindless word games??

    But still, wordgames and jokes are a heckova sight better in my opinion that what we are overwhelmed with in here these days. Just plain nastiness. Murderous political rants. Hatefilled murderous religious / anti-religious rants. Paranoid rants. Rants of personal insults. I'll stop there while this is still just a quiet primal scream.. sigh.

    I wish this forum had the option some others do of collapsing whole areas so you can customise threads under those headings not to appear in your view of the posts of the day. I suppose the ignore option is available, but if I put the ten or so most delightful FGers on ignore, I don't think there would be much of the Forum left. I've never had anyone on ignore, it might be an interesting experiment.

  5. #5
    Supporting Member Rapunzel's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    Quote Originally Posted by AussiePam View Post
    Blimey, Rap, I'd have thought jokes were the least of our troubles. If proliferation is the problem, why the heck not can all those appallingly mindless word games??
    Those were my words exactly Pam! Do you know that there are about 300 word games listed? And many are still going.

    I, too, thought jokes would be the least of the woes here but I'm told people don't like seeing them all over the homepage. Well, there's lots of stuff I don't like seeing on the homepage...but my view doesn't count apparently.

    I agree with you, it would be good to have customised areas. I think it would make more sense.

    I have just finished reading a book about the Impressionist painters and how they were pretty much unappreciated in their own life-times, being too avant-garde for the guardians of the Parisian Salon. One can draw parallels.

    Ã* bientôt!

  6. #6
    Senior Member AussiePam's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    Quote Originally Posted by Rapunzel View Post
    Those were my words exactly Pam! Do you know that there are about 300 word games listed? And many are still going.

    I, too, thought jokes would be the least of the woes here but I'm told people don't like seeing them all over the homepage. Well, there's lots of stuff I don't like seeing on the homepage...but my view doesn't count apparently.

    I agree with you, it would be good to have customised areas. I think it would make more sense.

    I have just finished reading a book about the Impressionist painters and how they were pretty much unappreciated in their own life-times, being too avant-garde for the guardians of the Parisian Salon. One can draw parallels.

    Ã* bientôt!

    We've just had a festival of French films here in Sydney - fantastic. Some films are going to be released in the mainstream outside France, and you should get a chance to see 'Micmacs' (by the Director of Amelie and Delicatessen), Hedgehog (the film of the book Elegance of the Hedgehog) and one on the life of the singer Serge Gainsbourg.


    Stringspace, the New Philharmonie of Cologne Chamber Orchestra put on their final Australian concert in the Opera House last night. Gosh they were amazing. The encore was one of the soloist violins and a viola doing a pyrotechnic sort of Duelling Banjos. It brought down the house!

    I know none of those things have anything to do with the college theme paper!!
    I guess it's us who are considered out of step though and everyone else fits in perfectly. My usual reaction is to switch off and go to the beach, it being Sunday and all that. Where did I put me cossie?



  7. #7
    Supporting Member Rapunzel's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    Quote Originally Posted by AussiePam View Post
    We've just had a festival of French films here in Sydney - fantastic. Some films are going to be released in the mainstream outside France, and you should get a chance to see 'Micmacs' (by the Director of Amelie and Delicatessen), Hedgehog (the film of the book Elegance of the Hedgehog) and one on the life of the singer Serge Gainsbourg.


    Stringspace, the New Philharmonie of Cologne Chamber Orchestra put on their final Australian concert in the Opera House last night. Gosh they were amazing. The encore was one of the soloist violins and a viola doing a pyrotechnic sort of Duelling Banjos. It brought down the house!

    I know none of those things have anything to do with the college theme paper!!
    I guess it's us who are considered out of step though and everyone else fits in perfectly. My usual reaction is to switch off and go to the beach, it being Sunday and all that. Where did I put me cossie?


    I'll keep an eye out for the films, thankyou.

    The concert in the Opera House sounds amazing, I can imagine the dynamics in crescendo as they added to the incredible visual display. I wish I had been there too!

    Don't worry about diverting from the OP. All threads do. That's why I didn't want just one thread of jokes as a joke can lead into a conversation which meanders across a variety of subjects at will. It cannot be constrained into a strait-jacket and forced to follow a path as straight as any ancient Roman viaduct. A conversation needs to meander like a river, with all its pools and riffles, and perhaps stirring up some sediment, before it calms slowly down and broadens its horizons, until it meets the sea.

    I guess we are out of step.
    Like Mozart, Einstein and Newton, et al, we march to the beat of a different drum.

  8. #8
    Supporting Member Rapunzel's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    (: ǝɥǝɥǝɥ ¡uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uı noʎ oʇ ıɥ ʎɐs p,ı ʇɥƃnoɥʇ ʇsnɾ I 'ǝıɯɯɐd ʎǝɥ

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    Senior Member AussiePam's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    Quote Originally Posted by Rapunzel View Post
    (: ǝɥǝɥǝɥ ¡uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uı noʎ oʇ ıɥ ʎɐs p,ı ʇɥƃnoɥʇ ʇsnɾ I 'ǝıɯɯɐd ʎǝɥ
    Blimey !!! I'll hafta stand on my head to read that!!

    As fer a meandering river, right now we're sort of collapsed beside the waters of Babylon, displaced and lamenting with Ophelian snatches of songs, mixing gins and tonics, metahphors and literary allusions.

  10. #10
    Senior Member AussiePam's Avatar
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    Re: The college theme paper

    Register to remove this ad.
    Ah, Rapunzel. Sweetie, I don't know if you can see this in guest mode or something. I came in here to write a requiem for you, but can't do it. I have no idea what happened to you, but I'm really sorry. I'll miss you a lot.

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