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Thread: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

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    FAKE-OLOGIST BTS's Avatar
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    After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    AN INTERVIEW WITH SADDAM
    THE LICE-COVERED BUTCHER OF BAGHDAD


    REPORTER: Well, Mr. Hussein, are they treating you well?

    SADDAM H.: Barbarians, not fit to shine the hooves of my camels, these…

    REP: Maybe Mr. Hussein isn’t quite right? Should I call you General Hussein, maybe, or Mr. Butcher de Baghdad, or Your Dictatorship, or Mr. Mass Murderer? What are you comfortable with?

    SADD: Usually my people called me ‘Equal With Muhammad’ Now sometimes they said some irreverent, almost unkind things as they were being shoved into the shredder/chippers or watching my men torture their miserable brats. My people love me. Except a few deviants.

    REP: What about the three hundred thousand you tortured and killed?

    SADD: Tortured? Killed? Not me. We did execute a number of common criminals, thieves, murders, those who disagreed with me. Some ex wives. That sort of thing.

    REP: Many in the Muslim world are angry with you because you neither fought against your American captors or blew your brains out. Why was that?

    SADD: More erroneous American propaganda, dammit!! Can’t trust those running dogs. Eaters of unclean flesh! Do you know that many Americans actually listen to Fox News? And believe it? The truth is I fought like a demon but was out numbered six thousand to one. When finally captured after a long struggle, I tried to club one soldier with my empty pistol since I had run out of ammunition. And he spat in my face. I Saddam Hussein, the fearless leader of all the Iraqis, leader of the pan Arab world. Killed more than fifty Americans with my own hands. Then I was drugged. DRUGGED? Me, drugged!!

    REP: Ok…ok…guess we can take that with a grain of sodium chloride. Now what have you told the CIA agents in charge of your interrogation?

    SADD: NOTHING. I HAVE TOLD THEM NOTHING. How dare you imply such a thing?

    REP: Well, for one thing, a briefcase full of important, sensitive documents were found in your possession. Then, using information from you, American troops have been able to identify and capture the members of several extended Ba’athist in your employ who have been targeting Coalition Convoys.

    SADD: NO! That briefcase was destroyed in the fierce fighting just before my capture. And even though they keep me in a small room with pictures of Bush the butcher and my gentle, beloved sons, Ouday and Qusay on the walls. THEY LIE!!

    REP: A moment ago you called yourself the leader of the Pan Arab World. How can you justify that in light of your incarceration?

    SADD: I don’t need to justify anything. I am merely the latest in a long line of glorious Iraqi leaders stretching from Hammurabi, and continuing through Nebuchadnezzer, Darius, Xerxes, and Suleimen The Magnificent. I was elected by a vote of one hundred per cent of my people. My political hero of the Twentieth Century is the man of iron, Joseph Stalin of the U.S.S.R,

    REP: Quite a lineup. Let’s see. If I recall things right. Nebuchadnezzer became an insane, deranged king late in life; Darius and Xerxes were not only defeated by much smaller Greek armies, but were Persian, which means the Iranians and not the Iraqis are descended from them; Suleimen reigned in Turkey in the sixteenth century and is unrelated to any living Iraqi, including you. Mr. Hussein. Oh, and Joe Stalin, will be best remembered for the paranoid killer of twenty-three million of the Russian People. Great role model!

    By the way, where did you hide the WMD, the weapons of mass destruction.

    SADD: That’s for me to know and you mangy dogs to find out. Ask another question.

    REP: Ok. How did you survive the last several months? What did you eat? Folks back home want to know.

    SADD: Well, my people were very generous. They treated me like a king and fed me like a Sultan. Early in the war we captured a large shipment of American food destined for the poor of my country. My family appropriated this for me and placed food and drink in every one of my dozens of hiding places. I have been eating a wonderful processed meat for months now. It’s called Spam.

    REP: Your Brutal Butchery, do you know that Spam is made from ham. I thought pork was an abomination to all good Muslims.

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    You don't see that as offensive?

    Saddam Hussain has been held exclusively by the Americans since his capture. With whom was this supposed American supposedly negotiating in order to interview the man?

    It is too too easy to demonize someone you don't like, to the point where you retain no human feeling toward him at all. To the point where you no longer recognise his humanity. Once you achieve that, you lose all chance of understanding him. It is, in my opinion, a sinful position to adopt.

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    Catnip, Stat! anastrophe's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    Quote Originally Posted by spot
    You don't see that as offensive?

    Saddam Hussain has been held exclusively by the Americans since his capture. With whom was this supposed American supposedly negotiating in order to interview the man?

    It is too too easy to demonize someone you don't like, to the point where you retain no human feeling toward him at all. To the point where you no longer recognise his humanity. Once you achieve that, you lose all chance of understanding him. It is, in my opinion, a sinful position to adopt.
    there, there. you go ahead and dab your eyes now. it's okay to shed a tear for saddam hussein and his humanity. besides being a father, he's also directly responsible for the torture and murder of hundreds of thousands of his country's citizens. he's directly responsible for the gassing to death of an entire kurdish village of some 5,000 people. he's directly responsible for the deaths of some half a million conscripts, sent into the marshes between iran and iraq to try to claim said marshes for his glory.

    hey, hitler was people too. and stalin. and mao. so what if combined they cost the lives of more than 100 million people. it's just plain wrong to be mean to them. i get it now. i really do get it.

    so, does this mean you'll stop demonizing george bush. he's people too!
    Last edited by anastrophe; 05-10-2005 at 01:49 PM. Reason: typo

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    Quote Originally Posted by anastrophe
    so, does this mean you'll stop demonizing george bush. he's people too!
    I've tried so hard to avoid any form of personal attack on any of the Bushes. If I were dripping acid on the guy, drip drip drip, I'd quote stuff like "Whenever Bush plays dress-up, as he does at nearly every photo-op on a military site from the USS Lincoln to torture seminar rooms at Ft. Bragg, he comes off as the missing member of the Village People, which may explain his enduring appeal to the latent types manning the controls of the Christian right these days." But I'm doing all I can to stick to issues instead of making fun of a guy who is, after all, just a disposable front-man for far nastier chaps with far more long-term interests. If his owners see another four-year term at the expense of having him assassinated, do you seriously hold out much hope for his life?

    Let's try to stay on topic, if we may. Saddam's just this guy, you know? He gets up people's noses but underneath all that he's a simple psychopath out to retain power. He makes friends, he bribes people, he stays in front as long as he can manage to. I prefer power systems with restraints, myself.
    Last edited by spot; 05-10-2005 at 02:22 PM. Reason: typo - remove an "s" from "explain"

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    BORN TO BE A RED! abbey's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    "Saddams just this guy, you know?".......WTF are you on Spot??
    Yea and Hitler was misunderstood!!

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    FAKE-OLOGIST BTS's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    Quote Originally Posted by spot
    You don't see that as offensive?

    Saddam Hussain has been held exclusively by the Americans since his capture. With whom was this supposed American supposedly negotiating in order to interview the man?

    It is too too easy to demonize someone you don't like, to the point where you retain no human feeling toward him at all. To the point where you no longer recognise his humanity. Once you achieve that, you lose all chance of understanding him. It is, in my opinion, a sinful position to adopt.
    I hope you do not think this was a REAL interview?
    "If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    Quote Originally Posted by abbey
    "Saddams just this guy, you know?".......WTF are you on Spot??
    It's a quote.
    Quote Originally Posted by abbey
    Yea and Hitler was misunderstood!!
    Hitler's been impossible to discuss or analyse sensibly since he was demonized. Once you say there was never any possibility of good in any man, you lose all chance of learning anything from his life. It's like the problem of the Orcs in Lord of the Rings - can you convert an Orc? Evangelize to an Orc? Welcome an Orcish believer into your communion? People aren't Orcs. Nobody is incapable of salvation.

    I'm told that watching the new German film "Downfall" is educational. Hitler's treated as a person in that, instead of a demon.

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    Quote Originally Posted by BTS
    I hope you do not think this was a REAL interview?
    No, I thought it was a piece of text explicitly designed to antagonize Muslims in general, actually. I found it rather sickening.

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    FAKE-OLOGIST BTS's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

    Quote Originally Posted by spot
    No, I thought it was a piece of text explicitly designed to antagonize Muslims in general, actually. I found it rather sickening.
    KewL.....We disagree..... I thought it rather clever myself.
    Although I think many many Muslims detested him in general.
    Last edited by BTS; 05-10-2005 at 03:28 PM. Reason: Added Text
    "If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."

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    Senior Member David813's Avatar
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    Re: After weeks of negotiation, Saddam Hussein is finally interviewed by an American

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    I would hope any American interviewer would apologize to Hussein for invading his country. And to say sorry, we thought you were a threat to US security. When in fact he's just one of many many tinpot dictators. He was friends with Reagan & the 1st Bush so I bet there will be some respect shown.

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