Note to all scientists, astronomers, historians, mathematicians, nuclear physicists & sticklers for detail. I wrote this without any regard as to the accuracy or otherwise of any scientific facts in regard to the Mayan calendar, the planets, nuclear missiles or extra-terrestrials. It is a hopefully humorous piece of writing about what could be our last 318 days on earth. I wore my fiction writer’s hat during its composition.

So we are a week into the second month of 2012 and if the Mayan calendar is to be believed, there are 318 days left before the world as we know it comes to an end on 21 December.

Should we be concerned? I mean it’s not like the world ends every few centuries even. As far back as our written records go, our good old reliable planet has been revolving and orbiting our sun non-stop without a hiccough or a noticeable wobble.

Of course the end of days has been predicted many times on various dates in the past, but thankfully all have been incorrect. However it seems that this time a set of circumstances has arisen that will make the destruction of our world much more likely.

Apparently, for the first time in a gazillion years or so, all the planets in our solar system will line up behind each other like so many celestial soldiers on parade. This it seems will cause a gravitational pull of such magnitude it might well cause a polar shift or even make the earth’s crust move.

Now if we consider the effect our own moon exerts on the oceans in terms of tides, we can imagine the added effect that all the planets might have on our planet. After all, most of earth is covered by water and we ourselves are made up of two thirds fluid.

The question is, will this actually happen? If you are a very negative person you could be excused for thinking that it might well happen. We are already seeing some strange weather patterns around the globe. Temperatures in some parts of the northern hemisphere have plummeted to never before recorded lows and in some countries, figures of minus fifty degrees are being recorded. Whether climate change is a symptom of what is to come on 21 December, we will have to wait and see.

So if the Mayan prediction is correct, what can we do to stave off Armageddon? Can the alignment of the planets be prevented and if so, how? There is no doubt that there are still enough nuclear weapons on earth to easily destroy our planet seven times over. I guess that maybe the destruction of perhaps one of the closest planets like Mars or Venus may be possible, but I doubt it. They are most likely out of range of our missiles, but then who knows? Perhaps one of the nuclear powers have a missile or two capable of achieving light speed.

Of course there might be another possible saviour out there somewhere in the form of an extra-terrestrial civilization who might be a couple of million years more advanced than we are. They might just step in and take the necessary action to save us at the eleventh hour, though if they’re two million years more advanced than us, I doubt they’d want to help us. But then, perhaps unlike us, they might be a more compassionate race of beings and so save us from destruction.

Perhaps they will vaporize the planets shortly before they can do any damage to our poles and crust. Then later generations of humans will write of “a battle of the gods in the heavens” that saved mankind from extinction. Or perhaps they might envelope earth in a sort of “force-field” and thereby protect us from the effects of the planetary alignment.

Of course there is a third possibility. An inter-galactic armada of “Noah’s Ark” spacecraft might arrive on earth in time to ferry us to planets in other galaxies … a sort of redistribution of earthlings. Now wouldn’t that be a cool adventure?

Our only consolation, if one could call it that, is that if 21 December sees the “Mayan
Mayhem” occur and it is the “end of days,” we will all most probably perish at the same time. At least then there will be no mourning and no tears, but best of all, there will be no exorbitant funeral home expenses and undertaker fees to be paid.