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Thread: The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

  1. #1
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    The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

    So here's post number one.

    One of Blu's favourite sayings used to be "There are strange things afoot." That was until he found out that it didn't mean that feet were sometimes weird.

    A while before he and Emmylu started going steady Blu met a lady by the name of Felicity-Anne Cecil-Porch-Porch. That's right ... her first name was Felicity-Anne and her surname was Cecil-Porch-Porch.

    Hey, I mean the British upper class aka the aristocracy are in fact a distinct species and not just a "class" so to speak. But why on earth would any earthling want to be known as Cecil-Porch-Porch? We all know what a "porch" is right? It’s like a veranda, balcony, deck, portico or stoop.

    Now me Jj, if I was part of the British upper class and my surname was Cecil-Porch-Porch, I'd consider changing my name to maybe Cecil-Deck-Deck or Cecil-Stoop-Stoop.
    I think I like Cecil-Stoop-Stoop better cos it sounds like Shoop Shoop which is really called "Its In His Kiss" written by one Rudy Clark & originally recorded by Betty Everett. It hit No. 1 in 1964. Personally I like Cher's remake in 1990. But I digress.

    It seems that Felicity-Anne Cecil-Porch-Porch was in Savannah because she had read the novel Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt. She was apparently so impressed by it, she wanted to check out the city with the intention of buying herself a Southern Gothic house. It seems Ms Cecil-Porch-Porch wasn't short of a shekel or two.

    Now Blu has a buddy who owns a Real Estate Company and on the odd occasion he would shows some houses. As luck would have it, Blu was the only agent available when Felicity-Anne came calling one Saturday afternoon, so he was it. Blu said she was quite a looker in a "mutton dressed like lamb" sort of way ... a bit too skinny for his taste ... but nevertheless if he got into bed one night and Ms Cecil-Porch-Porch happened to be there too, he wouldn't kick her out.

    So Blu takes her to Gwinnett Street and Charlton Street and Gordon Street and shows her a house similar to the one in the image below and when they inside, (gasp!) Felicity-Anne hits on him!

    Well you gonna have to wait a while to find out what happened next.

    Catch y'all later!

    Mwaaaah!




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    Re: The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

    Blu figures this is good advice!


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    Re: The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

    I like the part about "covered with small rubber tubing to prevent marring the car."
    Stuff the poor dog!


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    Re: The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

    Atlanta housewife Ann Cox Williams poses with the $12.50 worth of groceries that in 1947 fed her.

    Then why the hall is food so expensive today?



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    Re: The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

    Now when Blu told me that Felicity-Anne had made a pass at him, my first reaction was to doubt the authenticity of his claim so to speak. I say this simply because although he’s like a good looking guy, what with his baby blue eyes and curly blonde hair and all, in all the time I’ve known him I cannot ever ever recall him being hit on by a member of the opposite sex.

    Sure I’ve noticed many women wanting to take him in their arms and mother him cos he like just comes across like this big dumb baby, but I still cannot imagine a member of the British aristocracy, while being shown a house in the historic district of Savannah on a sultry June afternoon, wanting to get it in with Blu. But on the other hand …

    Anyway when I pointed this out to him, Blu claims I’m just like jealous cos nobody who is mentioned in Burke’s Peerage ever hit on me, which of course is so true, not the jealous thingee but the part about Burke’s Peerage.

    “So tell me.” I go, “did you and her like … you know?”

    Blu gives this loooong sigh and shakes his head. “No, cos as I leaned forward to kiss her feverish and swollen lips, her cell phone rings and I bet you’ll never ever guess what her ring tone is.”

    “God save the Queen?”

    Blu’s eyes narrowed. “Bastard. How did you know?”

    I give a shrug. “Lucky guess?”

    “Well it took an age for her to find her phone in her handbag cos it was that big and cluttered and all the time I kept wondering if I should have been standing to attention. It’s their national anthem isn’t it?”

    I nodded. “Yeah but unless you a British subject and a royalist you don’t do that. I mean if you a Scot or Irish you don’t but I’m not sure about if you Welsh.”

    “So anyway she finds her phone,” Blu continues, “and she goes: ‘Hell Oh! Felicity-Anne Cecil-Porch-Porch speaking.’ They speak like that you know, the British. Hell Oh and toodledoo and all that. Then she goes like quite pale and then walks across the room so I can’t hear what she’s saying.”

    “Bad news?” I ask.

    “You bet, but only if you about been on the verge of seducing yours truly.”

    Blu breaks off and I go: “And?”

    “And what?’ he asks.

    “Why was it only bad news if she was gonna seduce you?”

    “Cos the call was from her husband who had arrived in Savannah unexpectantly. “The Hon. Edward James Cecil Cecil-Porch-Porch.”
    The Hon. Edward James Cecil Cecil-Porch-Porch.” I repeat, “Gimme a break Blu. You expect me to believe that anyone in England would name their son Edward James Cecil when their surname is Cecil-Porch-Porch?”

    “Because the British,” he goes smugly, “and more especially the English, are well known for their eccentricity.”

    “Is that so? And by the way, why are you talking so funny like you swallowed a dictionary?”

    “Well after spending the evening with Felicity-Anne and James, I’ve made a slight change to my diction.”

    “You spent the evening with the Cecil-Porch-Porch’s?” I ask in disbelief.

    Sure did.” Blu answers grinning.

    “And exactly where was the evening spent?”

    Blu tells me, but that’s another story …

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    Re: The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

    "So where did you and the Cecil-Porch-Porchs spend time together?" I asked Blu. "And do you have to bring it into the bar?"

    We were having a drink at Pinkies on a Saturday morning. It, being Sam the dawg was lying at his feet and like looking suspiciously up at me like it didn't trust me.

    "Maybe Sam can like sense some jealousy in you." Blu said.

    "Jealousy my fat Irish ass. So where did you guys go?"

    "Only to Elizabeth on 37th.

    Now Elizabeth on 37th like 45 Bistro and Sapphire Grill are like the most upmarket restaurants in Savannah.

    "So Edward and Felicity took you to a fancy restaurant," I go, "Big deal."

    "You ever been there?" Blu asks smugly.

    "No," I admit, "but I bet if I did I'd at least know what fork to use for what dish."

    "Fork you too." Blu goes.

    I swallow some beer. "So tell me ... what was the topic of conversation during your meal?"

    "Oh we discussed various topics," he answers, "like really important stuff."

    "Such as?" I ask.

    "Stuff." Blu goes.

    "Stuff?"

    "Stuff and later after we had flattened like three bottles of expensive champagne and then Edward asked me if I was interested in a menagerie arrangement."

    "A what?" I ask.

    "Exactly what I asked him myself. I mean I know we have an aquarium but isn't a menagerie like a zoo?"

    "Are you sure that's what he said ... a menagerie?"

    "Yep and he said that if I was interested we should all go back to their hotel and then both he and Felicity put their hands on my thigh."

    At last the penny dropped ... for me at least. What Edward had probably suggested was a Ménage à trois!

    I was about to ask Blu what happened next but his cell phone rang.

    "Emmylu" he said, getting up and walking outside.

    So what happened next will have to wait for another time.

  7. #7
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    Re: The Chosen Presents ... Blu & Emmylu.

    Register to remove this ad.
    Haven't heard from Blu for some time so I guess I'll have to like blog about something else. Not that this will prove to be demanding because I have a gazillion things to write about. I mean I've lived so many lives before that stuff just comes natural to me. In fact I even write entire paragraphs and sometimes pages for my latest novel while I'm asleep.

    But I digress.

    I've been thinking lately about my fellow earthlings or humans or people as you might call them. I know from experience that you will never ever be liked, leave alone loved by everyone you may or may not call your friend. Some people might think rightly or wrongly, that you are not a nice guy or girl and they might listen to rumours and heresy and condemn you out of hand without like a fair trial so to speak.

    Again I digress.

    So I saw in the news that some people I know could be in distress because of heavy rains and winds ... whatever. It had been raining hard in their area and maybe they close to a flooding river that's burst its banks or maybe just some really savage hurricane force winds may be blowing them away.

    And I sort of like get concerned because even though I know I rate a zero with these people, I still worry about their safety. So I send them an e-mail saying like: "Hey, hope you guys haven't been picked up by a whirlwind like Dorothy Red Shoes from The Wizard of Oz and been dumped in the ocean somewhere."

    And I wait and hope they okay. I check out Sky News which I watch every early
    morning just to see Charlotte Hawkins and I don't see any reports of this happening so I give a sigh of relief for them.

    So I'm like very happy cos they must be okay ... I sure hope so.

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