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Thread: Just us two..

  1. #1
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    Just us two..

    Just us two.. now what's wrong with that?
    I'm talking about a choice of growing old with an OH, without having children.

    I don't like children. I never have and never will.
    I have no desire to have any, at any time during my existence.
    They smell, are sticky, annoying, want silly things, scream and so on.

    I hate my future mother-in-law for constantly saying: you are way too young, it will come. I am going to be 26, in not super healthy state and I like the life we have as it is. People keep looking at me when I tell them I have no desire to have children, as if to say: is there something wrong with you?!?!

    Why? I like my life the way it is, thank you. With my (many) pets, my OH, our fairly large house and spending our time the way we want to. I don't see anything wrong with that?

    Why do people feel the need to tell you that you must have children? What is wrong with "just us two" ?

    Oh and mother-in-law already has 2 grandchildren so she's not missing out in any way

  2. #2
    Senior Member Lady J's Avatar
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    Re: Just us two..

    Hi Chloe,

    First question....what is an OH? Other human?

    Next and being serious. I am without children and all my life I knew I never wanted to have children. I thought they would be too much responsibility ... I mean raising a child is serious, important business; especially in this day. Reckon I just didn't want to fail...even thou I doubt I would have.

    On the other hand, I wanted to be a successful and independent woman.

    Well I have achieved both of my goals. No children and I am successful and live in a very nice home and for the most part I am happy....but now as I grow a bit older then you I (almost) wish I had a child. Just a growing part of life I missed out on.

    You are still young so never ever say never....remember hind sight is blind.

    besides, I think all mother-in-laws are just that - Mothers who have had children.
    Last edited by Lady J; 06-08-2014 at 08:09 PM. Reason: typo

  3. #3
    Watanya Cecilia valerie's Avatar
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    Re: Just us two..

    I've known since I was about age 18 I never wanted any children,
    never regretted not having any and never changed my mind.

    BUT... I have a woman in my life who is like a daughter to me, and
    I happily call her son my grandson. So, I guess I got the best of
    both worlds?
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    Senior Member FourPart's Avatar
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    Re: Just us two..

    I think I always fancied the idea of a little Quarter Part, but I never got to meet a suitable partner who I could make a lifetime commitment with, and know I see myself as being too old. Although I'm fully aware that men remain fertile all their lives - well into their 90s, if they've still got the energy, but I'd be more concerned about being an Exceptionally Aged 'P'. A kid having an aging pensioner for a Father just isn't right.

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    Re: Just us two..

    OH - other half.. Although not married, we want to because we own a house together and if something would happen to one of us now, half of everything would go to the deceased family and not to the your other half.

    anyway, kids are not for me. Besides my parents had a rule, not kids after 30 so they would still be young and fit when we were growing up. I think that was a great rule, as well because my mum got very ill in my teens and I took on quite a few household tasks.
    back to the point: OH will be 30 in January and I will be 26 in November. So in my eyes time is running out and never have we had a so called clock starting to tick. The only thing I find difficult is that apart from OH, my mum & dad are the only one who accept our choices. We can design our life the way we want, so why not.

    other reasons for not having kids: I believe the world is already overpopulated and I hate to think what earth would be like in 50 years time.

    FourPart, I see what your saying. A friend at school (about 10 years ago) was about 15 and her dad was 70 something. She loved her parents but found it difficult when people would think he was her grandad. Besides when she was little he didn't have much energy, so she felt left out in a way.

  6. #6
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    Re: Just us two..

    Quote Originally Posted by valerie View Post
    I've known since I was about age 18 I never wanted any children,
    never regretted not having any and never changed my mind.

    BUT... I have a woman in my life who is like a daughter to me, and
    I happily call her son my grandson. So, I guess I got the best of
    both worlds?
    I guess you did Valerie!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Victoria's Avatar
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    Re: Just us two..

    This is your mother...putting my two pennyworth in...

    This is your life your body your time and you should make the choices you want... Together with his majesty of course...

    Other people mean well but they have no idea how you are on the inside. They cannot expect you to live your life for thier enjoyment or entertainment.

    So you take a stand girl, do what you feel is right and tell the rest to bu66er off...


    Dad and I love you no matter what... xxxx

  8. #8
    Cardi Goddess!! Betty Boop's Avatar
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    Re: Just us two..

    I'm with your Mother, tell them to burger off!

    I have friends in the same boat as you, just be prepared for the fact people will just constantly ask, even strangers! They even get faced with with a condescending 'oh you'll change your mind one day'.

    I also have friends who can't physically have children, have been through IVF, failed and have also considered adoption. They have chosen not to adopt and are constantly met with 'oh no children yet' from strangers which is particularly hurtful when the answer is 'I can't' but do others step back and refrain from asking the question? Sadly no!
    I do wish people would stop and think before asking what could potentially be a very painful question and stop meddling in other peoples lives.

    Society as a whole needs to learn to stop being so nosey about others personal choices.

  9. #9
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    Re: Just us two..

    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria View Post
    This is your mother...putting my two pennyworth in...

    This is your life your body your time and you should make the choices you want... Together with his majesty of course...

    Other people mean well but they have no idea how you are on the inside. They cannot expect you to live your life for thier enjoyment or entertainment.

    So you take a stand girl, do what you feel is right and tell the rest to bu66er off...


    Dad and I love you no matter what... xxxx
    Jikes! It's mum on the forum!
    thanks mum

  10. #10
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    Re: Just us two..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Betty Boop View Post
    I'm with your Mother, tell them to burger off!

    I have friends in the same boat as you, just be prepared for the fact people will just constantly ask, even strangers! They even get faced with with a condescending 'oh you'll change your mind one day'.

    I also have friends who can't physically have children, have been through IVF, failed and have also considered adoption. They have chosen not to adopt and are constantly met with 'oh no children yet' from strangers which is particularly hurtful when the answer is 'I can't' but do others step back and refrain from asking the question? Sadly no!
    I do wish people would stop and think before asking what could potentially be a very painful question and stop meddling in other peoples lives.

    Society as a whole needs to learn to stop being so nosey about others personal choices.
    very true and thank you Betty!
    Besides we don't have room for children.. As one bedroom is occupied by our snakes, and the other by Charlie ( budgie). Downstairs is the terrain of our cats, aquarium and guinea pigs. I'm planning on being an old cat lady !

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