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Thread: Warning!

  1. #1
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    Warning!

    GARDEN GNOMES STRIVE FOR WORLD DOMINATION!
    For decades we have been lured by their harmless appearance and thus allowed them to infiltrate our homes. Now a takeover is very close at hand.
    Underneath the lawns and gardens of the world, the garden gnomes have constructed huge facilities for weaponry and advanced training.
    At least 95% of all unexplained violent deaths worldwide are in fact the works of garden gnome stormtroopers evaluating weapons and combat tactics.
    The United Nations, Nato and The World Bank are more or less completely under garden gnome control at this point.
    Also the global warming problem is the work of garden gnomes. They are resilient to climate changes, and they secretly burn vast amounts of crude oil and chemicals in remote locations throughout the world in order to ruin human health. This also explains the oil shortage.
    The economy crisis, the conflicts in the Middle East, the 9/11 attack e.t.c, are merely cover-ups administrated by garden gnome intelligence units in order to distract the world's attention from their sinister plan.
    Garden gnomes will be the end of life as we know it unless we take immediate action!
    SPREAD THE WORD! GARDEN GNOMES ARE EVIL AND MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!

  2. #2
    Recycled Teenager G#Gill's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

    What are we expected to do then ? Snoop around our neighbours' gardens and chop all the heads off the resident garden gnomes, even the ones that are fishing in ponds ?
    I have to say that the garden gnomes that I know, are very friendly smiley chaps. Is this the way they disguise their true intentions ?

    ]

    I'm glad I don't have any of these mini monsters in my garden !

    I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully

  3. #3
    Senior Member Bruv's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

    I am doing my bit.
    I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth

  4. #4
    Premium Member Snowfire's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

    Gill, don't be persuaded by a smile and a freindly demeanour. They are clearly spies and not to be trusted. Walls have ears and so, it seems, do shrubs
    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
    Winston Churchill

  5. #5
    Recycled Teenager G#Gill's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowfire View Post
    Gill, don't be persuaded by a smile and a freindly demeanour. They are clearly spies and not to be trusted. Walls have ears and so, it seems, do shrubs
    Don't worry Snowfire, I'm wary of most things, particularly gnomes that smile ! But I wouldn't feel happy about having to chop their heads off !

    By the way, I thought it was corn that had ears !
    I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully

  6. #6
    Senior Member FourPart's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

    And when was the last time you checked to see if they held a valid fishing licence.

  7. #7
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    Re: Warning!

    loooove this thread

  8. #8
    Recycled Teenager G#Gill's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

    But Baylee, you done buggered orf diddle you ! So where's you gorn to since April 2018 ? No point in meckin' a comment lark thet wivout you follow it up mate !

    Gnome Hunter dropped the original bombshell then ee buggered orf diddle ee ? I do wonder why people do that.
    I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully

  9. #9
    Senior Member High Threshold's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gnome_Hunter View Post
    GARDEN GNOMES STRIVE FOR WORLD DOMINATION!
    For decades we have been lured by their harmless appearance and thus allowed them to infiltrate our homes. Now a takeover is very close at hand.
    Underneath the lawns and gardens of the world, the garden gnomes have constructed huge facilities for weaponry and advanced training.
    At least 95% of all unexplained violent deaths worldwide are in fact the works of garden gnome stormtroopers evaluating weapons and combat tactics.
    The United Nations, Nato and The World Bank are more or less completely under garden gnome control at this point.
    Also the global warming problem is the work of garden gnomes. They are resilient to climate changes, and they secretly burn vast amounts of crude oil and chemicals in remote locations throughout the world in order to ruin human health. This also explains the oil shortage.
    The economy crisis, the conflicts in the Middle East, the 9/11 attack e.t.c, are merely cover-ups administrated by garden gnome intelligence units in order to distract the world's attention from their sinister plan.
    Garden gnomes will be the end of life as we know it unless we take immediate action!
    SPREAD THE WORD! GARDEN GNOMES ARE EVIL AND MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS!
    Make no mistake, it's either the Russians of the Irish what's behind it all.

  10. #10
    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: Warning!

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    Quote Originally Posted by High Threshold View Post
    Make no mistake, it's either the Russians of the Irish what's behind it all.
    You are not well acquainted with your regional mythology perhaps. If I mention Alberich, Mimi, the Niebelungen Horde, Nokia financial backing and a production deal with Scandi-Noir TV Enterprises? Now does it make sense?
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

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