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Thread: Unintentionally Funny Medical Transcripts From Hospitals

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Dec 2015
    New Rochelle, NY
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    02:58 PM

    Unintentionally Funny Medical Transcripts From Hospitals

    These are actual medical transcripts from hospitals :

    The patient is here with a rash which I sent to Dr. Smith .

    Patient is a prime rib .

    Patient has abnormal lover function .

    Despite treatment, the patient improved .

    Rectal exam reveals a normal sized thyroid .

    Patient has very close veins .

    On exam, he has cigarettes in his pocket .

    The patient has pain after intercourse in his chest .

    The patient slipped on the porch when she went out to feed the birds and broke her
    ankle . The birds were not injured .

    History and physical : Mrs. Blank is a 64 year old black widow .

    The patient was placed under the microscope .

    The barium enema on the phone was within normal limits .

    The child will probably be shorter than what he wants to be, but he should have picked
    different parents .

    The patient said that she was too sick to be in the hospital but would come back when she felt better .

    While in the examine room, she was examined , X-rated and sent home .

    She is numb from her toes down .

    Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles .

    She stated that she had been constipated until 1989 when she got a divorce .

    The patient was to have a bowel resection, but took a job as a stockbroker instead .

    The patient lives with his mother, father, and a pet turtle who is currently enrolled in
    day care three days a week .

  2. #2
    Senior Member AnneBoleyn's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
    Brooklyn NY
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    01:58 PM

    Re: Unintentionally Funny Medical Transcripts From Hospitals

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