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Thread: Unwanted Guests

  1. #21
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    This is my favorite skunk joke. (It's actually my only skunk joke.) I heard it in German but it translates to English very nicely:

    Once upon a time there were two little skunks named In and Out.

    Their parents named them In and Out because they were VERY active. It seemed like whenever
    In was Out Out was In and if Out was out In was In.

    One day, Mama skunk was fixing lunch and it so happened that In was out and Out was in. "Out", said
    his mom, "It's almost lunch time! Go out and bring In in."

    No sooner had she begun setting the table than Out came in with In in tow.

    "Out!", said the mama, "how were you able to find your brother so quickly?"

    "It was easy, mama", said Out, "In stinkt!"

  2. #22
    Senior Member Saint_'s Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    Hahaha. Loved it.

  3. #23
    Premium Member tude dog's Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    Quote Originally Posted by Saint_ View Post
    I am a skunk EXPERT! I trapped 35 skunks alive over a period of three years and completely eradicated them from our part of the city. I transported them out into the boonies as well without every once being sprayed!

    Here's how I did it: I built a large box out of plywood. It had a deadfall door held up by a pin. The pin was connected to a wire that was connected to a mouse trap. Inside, a teeter-totter plate was connected by a rod to the mousetrap. I baited it with a bowl of dry catfood. (They love it and it doesn't lose its smell quickly!)

    The skunk walks in, its weight triggers the floor plate, the floor plate pulls the mouse trap and SNAP BANG! The mousetrap snaps the pin out of the door, the door falls shut and the skunk can't pry it open! I put a couple of old lawn mower wheels on one end and a rope on the other and viola! Instant skunk carry on luggage!

    One week alone I caught 5 skunks, one a night. (Oh, and yes, I did debate about releasing them into the rich neighborhoods of our city councilmen, but I'm not eighteen anymore so I didn't succumb to foolish impulses.)

    Weirdly, the first skunk I caught, I took to the animal shelter. I figured, hey! They put down dozens of cats and dogs, why not real vermin? The ranger told me, "We can't take your skunk because it's not in one of our traps. Traps they rent for $50 I might add. So I asked, "What do you do with the skunks that are caught in your traps? He replied, we take them over to the river and turn them loose. Loose? LOOSE?! inside city limits?! !@#$%$#*& No freaking wonder we have a problem! But you gotta admit... it's a working business model.

    Stupid gits.
    Dude, you're the MAN!

    Ever caught anything else in your traps?

  4. #24
    Long Time Member cars's Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    Please go home, you are not welcome here.
    We have some guests that keep hanging around and were never welcome. They are rarely seen during the day and when we do see them we do our best to ignore and avoid them. We do not speak to them, we do not encourage interaction with them. These guests prefer to disturb us at night when we are asleep. They think nothing of rudely waking us up with their rummaging around. The worst part of all, they stink. Yes they smell bloody awful.
    Over the past couple of years SKUNKS have become braver in our area and are now in our yards camping out and foraging and just generally hanging around.
    I blame our city for this because of the new garbage bin system set up. We have mandatory city issue bins that are picked up by machine and dumped into the waste trucks. However.... plenty of loose and random garbage is left behind when these bins are flung around. Garbage is a skunks favorite and most easily attained meal.
    For those of you who have never experienced a skunk thank you lucky stars. Yes these small stripey critters look cute, and their fur looks so soft and petable. But NO stay away, these guys are masters of deception. 1) they bite, and many carry rabies. 2) they spray, the spray is noxious, it's a heavy cloying oil and there is nothing more fowl than skunk smell. Rotting human flesh, a pig farm, even a chicken farm smells better than the smell of skunk.

    We were roused from sleep last night as the smell of skunk spray wafted through our bedroom window.
    We are about ready to set out poison, traps and heavy artillery.



    Wow, funny I came across this today. That's exactly what happened to us last night.
    Our A/C was on last night cause it was 85f, and all or a sudden SKUNK spray wafted through the A/C intake and flooded our bedroom! Skunks in our area like and dig up grubs in the lawn, so don't know why it sprayed. Needless to say we were up for a few hours!
    Cars
    <"LIFE is SHORT, Make the most of it!!!" GET OUTTA HERE!>
    <Love living Large!>
    <Home is where you're treated the best, but complain the most!>

  5. #25
    Senior Member Saint_'s Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    Quote Originally Posted by tude dog View Post
    Dude, you're the MAN!

    Ever caught anything else in your traps?
    Yup. The neighbor's cats. Twice. Each one only once, though. They're fast learners.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Saint_'s Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    I'll take some pictures of my skunk-catching machine and post them here in a couple of days if anyone wants to build one. (I made mine out of scrap lumber for about $5.00. the only thing I had to buy was the mousetrap.)

    One more word before I hit happy hour: Make sure that you have no small, semi-enclosed areas on your property. I found a family of six under my porch, then I fully enclosed it. Watch for burrows under fences (plug those with round heavy rocks) and spaces under sheds and such. If you watch, you can learn to see the signs of where they're entering your yard and where they live.

  7. #27
    Senior Member magentaflame's Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    Ive only smelt a simulated skunk smell........ you can keep it. Thank god we dont have them here.
    Although rotting wombat is pretty bad.

    Ive never known any animal to be terrified of fruit. Learn something new every day. Lol

  8. #28
    Caitriona Eibhlin Kathy Ellen's Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    Hi Mags,

    WONDERFUL to see you!! How's life treating you?


    Hello Cars,

    WONDERFUL to see you posting. Hope you and the Mrs. are happily traveling to Florida. Might drive down, but, it's a long drive. Maybe I'll make some stops along the way. Better than that, think I'll take the auto train down.

    Cheers for now my friend x

  9. #29
    superstar minks's Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

    I can’t do a reply with quote so am just replying en masse.
    Saint, that’s brilliant, you are lucky you did not get sprayed, maybe you have nice skunks in your area, I think ours are just miserable because they have to fight off all the darn neighborhood cats, seriously we have same number of cats as we do skunks I think.
    Mark A, that is funny. I wish my skunks were funny, besides being funny looking.
    Cars hi nice to see you again. That’s funny you have the same problem as I. Darn must be a good year for pesky black and white vermin.
    Magenta, not that I am an expert, but if you have some reallllllyyyy bad smelling Pot, that is almost what Skunk smells like, and it’s cloying and does not go away. It is a kind of oil, it’s so bad that even if they spray the side of your house that smell stays for weeks.
    �You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.�
    ― Mae West

  10. #30
    Zero mod strikes. HAH!!! YZGI's Avatar
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    Re: Unwanted Guests

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    Quote Originally Posted by minks View Post
    lol spot, you make it sound like I live in the sticks.
    Strawberry's you say how very fascinating, I would like to try but.... we have a fair rabbit population in our area, both Jacks, and small domestic types, I guess we could call them cotton tails.
    Well I am going to try everything honest, I can't stand another summer of ducking for cover when the aroma of skunk hits us.

    YZ really, you had to go there didn't you and you brought friends. Crikey.
    I just didn't want you "eradicating" one of your cousins..

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