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Thread: Reeding Allowed

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Reeding Allowed

    I'm just puzzling over a puzzle, bear with me. Pretend I'm talking to myself, that being my immediate purpose.

    Checking my diary I find that over the last three months I've red aloud several significant chunks of the Bible. The puzzle is which bit to reed next. If it were just to myself I'd press on regardless but the audience is eight and keen, in an hour or so, to hear what happens next.

    So far he's had... I'm going to have to get a list, hang on.

    Aloud, mind. Bedtime reeding mostly.

    Genesis Exodus Leviticus Numbers. He especially likes lists with patterns so he was in his element with those.

    Then we skipped Deuteronomy to avoid repetition.

    Joshua Judges and then we skipped Ruth as adult-themed.

    1 and 2 Samuel, 1 and 2 Kings, skipped Chronicles.

    We had a whale of a time in Ezra and Nehemiah with lots of interpolative exposition on slavery in Babylon and Cyrus the Great.

    We have not as yet gone near Tobit, Judith, Esther, 1 and 2 Maccabees, Job, the Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, especially not the Song of Songs, Wisdom and Sirach.

    I set aside Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Baruch, Ezekiel and Daniel for later.

    Similarly there's a group we have not set foot in with the exception of Jonah because Jonah is fun. We deferred Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah and Malachi.

    We have crucified Jesus the obligatory four times with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John though we took a break in the middle by reeding the Book of Revelations to make the idea of the end time a bit more clear. It provided the back-story motivation for getting crucified, I thought.

    We then traversed the whole of the Acts of the Apostles, at which point I have vetoed the subsequent output of Paul as over-complicated for anyone eight years old so he's just going to have to wait as far as that's concerned. And everyone else's letters too.

    Where do we go next, that's the question.

    Actually we've red Genesis twice, it being peculiarly designed for story-telling. I weedily dropped Lot's interlude with his daughters. On the other hand we did discuss at some length why Abraham kept passing Sarah off as his sister. I skipped two pages about Amnon too.

    I suspect the bits he's had are the bits I find easiest, I have no idea how to make the major prophets coherent. The minor prophets just whinge. The Psalms and Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are unapproachable poetry. Ezekiel is hallucinogenic.

    I'll take a run at Isaiah and try to get through to the end of Jeremiah.

    I'd do Job but in my experience Job has to be taken in one very long sitting to make sense and the final late-addition chapter has to be ditched entirely or there's no point.

    And then, I think, I have to stop. None of the rest is suitable for children.
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    England's troubles will increase until the bishops open Joanna Southcott's box.
    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    eta:

    And so we did. The Book of Job naturally breaks into three segments and we red the first, chapters 1 to 13 with discussion of when [1], who [2] and why [3]. He's decided that neither the book nor Job are miserable which is fair, I think, if provocative, because if Job isn't miserable then he's the only honorable character in the book.

    If anyone knows the story of Sam Oglethwaite, that's Job in a nutshell with Noah playing the part of God.





    [1:] A generation or two after Alexander the Great

    [2:]The Temple scribes

    [3:]The rain it raineth on the just
    And also on the unjust fella;
    But chiefly on the just, because
    The unjust hath the just’s umbrella.
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    England's troubles will increase until the bishops open Joanna Southcott's box.
    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

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    Recycled Teenager G#Gill's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    Hello Mr. spot, I do sincerely hope you do not allow your young charge to watch you type on your computer whilst you are using your phonetic spelling !
    I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    Quote Originally Posted by G#Gill View Post
    Hello Mr. spot, I do sincerely hope you do not allow your young charge to watch you type on your computer whilst you are using your phonetic spelling !
    The brute child was teaching himself astrophysics while I was typing that screed. A simulator on his PC called Universal Sandbox 2, he tells me. My experiments with spelling reform are child's play by comparison.

    I follow in the steps of H G Wells and of G B Shaw (the playwright, not the destroyer of the Ottoman Empire). Both advocated change though neither persuaded the nation to follow their leed. I have little to give but what I have I will add to the treasury.
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    England's troubles will increase until the bishops open Joanna Southcott's box.
    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

  5. #5
    Banned Raphael's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    What about the books making up the Apocrypha?
    Plus the 14 books removed by the Vatican in 1684

    And above all -- the people's number one --- The Book of Enoch .
    Or does he make Isiah look the poor man's version he was ?

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    Quote Originally Posted by Raphael View Post
    What about the books making up the Apocrypha?
    Plus the 14 books removed by the Vatican in 1684

    And above all -- the people's number one --- The Book of Enoch .
    Or does he make Isiah look the poor man's version he was ?
    The boy's Kindle only has the freebie King James on it and I'm far too parsimonious to splash out on anything that costs. However you're quite right, googling shows I can get them for nothing.

    I have sullied my laptop if you'll excuse my French, and downloaded the files from http://scriptural-truth.com/apocrypha_books.html and what a horrid place it is to be sure.

    I've put the PDFs through to text and thence into MOBI, I'll email them onto his Kindle later. Meanwhile, having reached chapter 4 of 1st Chronicles last night, he can reed the remainder before we branch out.

    So far I've only ever told him two jokes and he was kind enough to find them amusing, the one about there only being 10 sorts of people in the world and the one about my dog has no nose. I've saved up my third joke in case of emergency.
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    England's troubles will increase until the bishops open Joanna Southcott's box.
    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

  7. #7
    Banned Raphael's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    I keep meaning to read the Book of Enoch but failing .

    It is definitely flavour of the epoch and seemingly beloved by Fundamentalists and many so called Conspiracy Theorists .

    I gather that it is the start point for the ideas of The Watchers and the End of Times .

    Given that the Watcher in charge of the Israelites was what the Christians call the one God -- certainly the OT version -- it is great fun to see some of the expanded narratives .

    In some , The Donald is a closely guarded and protected person and a road back to absolution . This neatly fits with his German Jewish background and his alleged full conversion to Judaism early in his Presidency . Further , the saga points to the future importance of his son in law in history, but my attention started to wander around that point .
    However , I like the idea of the Israel Watcher being a God( from the sky) which neatly fits the Sumerian legends which more literally define him as one of the Anunnaki -- a legend that is mirrored right across the planet . Different names . Same drill .

    Great stuff . You cannot read Alice through the looking glass indefinitely .

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    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    There is a switch, a binary on-off thing, which makes all the difference in the world when reeding the Bible or any other text which purports to tell what will happen. It's the one that says whether it is possible to foretell future events. It's either yes it is possible, perhaps with "but you must be inspired by divine beings or hallucinate" qualifications, or no it is not possible, "reality doesn't work like that".

    The boy has his switch firmly glued to off, like all rational people, and it makes the Bible so much more interesting. We discussed the meaning of "thousand" and "hundred" in the old testament context. The Roman military had similar naming convention with Decurion and Centurion, for example, but nobody reeds Centurion as a hundred people. It makes the tribal lists collated at the time of Ezra and the founding of the Temple in Jerusalem so much more credible and informative, not to mention the Exodus and Numbers components put together by the same writing team.

    He thinks the Elihu episode in the Book of Job is an interpolation. He didn't actually say interpolation, he said someone had added it in and that it didn't fit. He might well be right. The other interpolation, he couldn't mention simply because I didn't let him see it in the first place. It's Job 42:9 from the colon to the end of the book, and it totally destroys the message the book has spent 41 chapters creating. Whoever allowed that tacked-on sugar-coating should have been cut off from the congregation of Israel.

    We got to 1 Chronicles 16 and stopped there, it's a natural break. This-all is improving his sight-reeding and clarity of speech if nothing else.
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    England's troubles will increase until the bishops open Joanna Southcott's box.
    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

  9. #9
    Supporting Member spot's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

    Quote Originally Posted by Raphael View Post
    I keep meaning to read the Book of Enoch but failing .
    Excluding the present-day Introduction, verse and page numbering it runs to 41,289 words. That may be relevant. It's even longer than The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - I couldn't finish that either.
    Nullius in verba|||||||||||
    Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game!

    The watch of your vision has become reasonable today.

    England's troubles will increase until the bishops open Joanna Southcott's box.
    It’s normal. You must provoke. You must insult the belief of all monotheists. You must make fun of the belief of all monotheists.
    From the upper tier of the Leppings Lane End of the Hillsborough Stadium, I watched the events of that day unfold with horror.
    When the flowers want to oxygen and nutrition, or you’re a wedding or party planner, I will help you too much.
    Write that word in the blood

  10. #10
    Proudly humble LarsMac's Avatar
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    Re: Reeding Allowed

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    I enjoy reading the KJV, usually, because it is an interesting view to the evolution of the English Language.
    The poetry of some books is amazing. Some other books in the KJV fall into tedium very quickly, though.
    "The trouble with people isn't that they don't know, but that they know so much that ain't so." - Will Rogers
    "Truth isn't Truth" - Rudy Giuliani

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