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Thread: Medical Reasons for Abortion

  1. #81
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    Re: Medical Reasons for Abortion

    [QUOTE=LilacDragon]You are right, it was a pretty sexist, blanket statement.


    My ex-husband would have had a coronary had I suggested having an abortion when I was married to him. I am sure that he would have felt the same way about the life of the son that is 5 months younger then our daughter.


    I am completely confused...................how can you have son that you gave birth to, who is 5 months younger than your daughter?????????????????????????????
    Nature laughs Last

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    Starting Over in 2007! LilacDragon's Avatar
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    Re: Medical Reasons for Abortion

    [QUOTE=robinseggs]
    Quote Originally Posted by LilacDragon
    You are right, it was a pretty sexist, blanket statement.


    My ex-husband would have had a coronary had I suggested having an abortion when I was married to him. I am sure that he would have felt the same way about the life of the son that is 5 months younger then our daughter.


    I am completely confused...................how can you have son that you gave birth to, who is 5 months younger than your daughter?????????????????????????????
    I don't - his girlfriend did. [B]MY[B] son is 11 years younger then my daughter.

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    Re: Medical Reasons for Abortion

    Quote Originally Posted by LilacDragon
    You are right, it was a pretty sexist, blanket statement.

    Having admitted to my faults, I guess I should explain my thoughts just a bit more.

    My ex-husband would have had a coronary had I suggested having an abortion when I was married to him. I am sure that he would have felt the same way about the life of the son that is 5 months younger then our daughter. And yet, after the divorce, he didn't want to pay child support and he hasn't seen the girls in several years. He showed no interest in talking to them until they turned 18, because then he wouldn't have to pay child support for them anymore. Well, if he had bothered to pay it before that is.

    I know a few gentlemen, like yourself, who would feel morally obligated to take care of a child born from consentual sex, no matter what the cost or complications. I also know a few men who think that sex is a serious thing that shouldn't be taken lightly.

    But I know so many more who think that sex is something that you have at the end of a date. The number of Deadbeat Dads in the U.S. is staggering. I doubt they gave much thought to the consequences of having sex. And if they did, they sure didn't care. The number of single woman on Welfare, also staggering.

    As for losing the love of a good man because I think this way - I doubt it. We agreed after our son was born that he would be my last child and I had my tubes tied.
    Lilac, I'm pretty much in your situation. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, my ex was so excited. But he never even went to find out with me, nor did he accompany me to my parents' house to tell them I was pregnant... out of wedlock. He didn't have to face any of it. He would stay out all night & come home the next afternoon. This continued throughout our marriage (we were married when I was 6 months pregnant, because I "wanted to do the right thing"). Only once did I ask him to pick our daughter up at daycare, because that time, he showed up DRUNK!! Then, believe it or not, I was the one reported to Children & Youth!!!

    I was his built-in maid, baby-sitter, cheuffer (he didn't have a license), & bread-winner (he could never hold onto a job). I know you men are going to ask why didn't I leave him. You're right... but at 21, you're still in that fantasy world where you truly think you "can change him". Also, HE was the one who was so gung-ho over the whole pregnancy! As much as I LOVE my daughter, I considered other options. But as the time went on, I grew a special bond to that person inside me (I say person only during the second trimester). After she was born, the police picked him up for non-paid fines & he spent the first 6 months of her life in jail. We separated for a year after that, with him calling me constantly. We finally got back together because he'd been sober for 6 months & was sweet as pie. Even held a regular job.

    I left him after he started drinking again, quit a good job he'd gotten just because he didn't want to work there (I never had a choice if or where I wanted to work!), & hit me once.

    Long story short, we've been apart for 14 years now. My daughter is 18. He only paid his child support when he had a girlfriend with kids, who would pay it for him or get on him about it. He's had 16 warrants, rarely shows up for his hearings, & I haven't seen a payment for over a year. He's $10,000 in arrearages. He's in jail right now, but do you think our wonderful "system" is deducting the support from his wages (he's on work release)?? HE** NO!! Also, Domestic Relations never even lifted a finger to try to find him & pick him up. He had the last warrant out for almost a year!!

    The other day, my daughter told me that her dad told her that they still think she's in school & he has to keep paying. The audacity of this low-life! Of course, he made her feel bad, so SHE went into Domestics & told them she wasn't in school anymore!!! I told her I'd already contacted them, but have to take a day off of work to actually take care of it. HE doesn't pay, but wants me hurry to end the process!!! HE'S SCUM!!!

    This, by the way, is the usual story, not just mine.

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    Starting Over in 2007! LilacDragon's Avatar
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    Re: Medical Reasons for Abortion

    My younger daughter, though 18, is still in school. It took a year and a half to catch up with my ex, but he is now paying child support regularly as it is deducted from his retirement check. (He is retired military.) The problem with this is - the part of his retirement check they are taking for child support should be mine anyway as I am entitled to that according to my divorce decree! And I have to pay a lawyer to get anything else out of him!

    I know Jives is going to really jump on me for this but I honestly think that until there are MORE women in government, men will continue to get away with not taking care of their children.

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    Re: Medical Reasons for Abortion

    Quote Originally Posted by LilacDragon
    My younger daughter, though 18, is still in school. It took a year and a half to catch up with my ex, but he is now paying child support regularly as it is deducted from his retirement check. (He is retired military.) The problem with this is - the part of his retirement check they are taking for child support should be mine anyway as I am entitled to that according to my divorce decree! And I have to pay a lawyer to get anything else out of him!

    I know Jives is going to really jump on me for this but I honestly think that until there are MORE women in government, men will continue to get away with not taking care of their children.
    I have to agree Lilac. I know this isn't ALL men. And I did try to get away from him before I got pregnant, but he wouldn't leave me alone, seriously.

    My ex doesn't pay his taxes, so he doesn't get a return. He also has no retirement, since he's "self-employed". She'll get nothing from him. He's just so good at twisting things around & making me look like the bad guy. He even went as far as to tell her I wouldn't allow him to see or speak with her when she was younger!!! He NEVER BOTHERED!!!!! Not for Christmas, her birthday, NOTHING!!

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    Starting Over in 2007! LilacDragon's Avatar
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    Re: Medical Reasons for Abortion

    Quote Originally Posted by Jives
    Whew! Well thank you for that retraction / codification, Lilac.

    As for your worthless ex-husband. It's guys like that who give the good men a bad name. Personally, my name for deadbeat dads is.....rat.

    And you are completely right about the number of deadbeat dads rising, along with the number of single mothers.

    I blame the media and hollywood for glorifying casual sex, and rap music for it's blatant promotion of sex-as-a-hobby.

    Anastrophe always disagrees with me when I promote the idea that seeing all this casual sex iand desensitizing violence on TV and in the movies and music is eroding our national sense of values. He says it doesn't have an impact on people.

    I say he's wrong.
    How could it not impact our young people!?! In the quest for the almighty dollar so many children are being raised in our schools with no one home that gives a damn about what they do after school!

    I am a pretty relaxed mom. My kids watch t.v., movies and listen to the radio. My daughter loves Brittany Spears (where is the vomitting smiley when you need it) and my son loves all kinds of video games. BUT - I take my responsiblity to teach my children right from wrong very seriously. My 7 year old is well aware that violence is NOT the answer even if it looks like it on t.v. My daughter is not sexually active, doesn't do drugs and has great morals. Because I took the time to teach them instead of letting her get them from a t.v. show.

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    Starting Over in 2007! LilacDragon's Avatar
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    Re: Medical Reasons for Abortion

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    Quote Originally Posted by observer1
    I have to agree Lilac. I know this isn't ALL men. And I did try to get away from him before I got pregnant, but he wouldn't leave me alone, seriously.

    My ex doesn't pay his taxes, so he doesn't get a return. He also has no retirement, since he's "self-employed". She'll get nothing from him. He's just so good at twisting things around & making me look like the bad guy. He even went as far as to tell her I wouldn't allow him to see or speak with her when she was younger!!! He NEVER BOTHERED!!!!! Not for Christmas, her birthday, NOTHING!!
    Let's continue this here...http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/sh...886#post149886

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