Men and Shopping

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 2:44 pm

15 things a man can do at Wal-Mart while his wife is taking her own sweet

time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they

aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in

Housewares' . and see what happens.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Setup a tent in the Camping Department - and tell other shoppers you're

sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding

Department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't

you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your

nose.

9. While handling guns in the Hunting Department, ask the clerk if he knows

where the antidepressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the them from

"Mission Impossible."

11. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different

sized funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . and when people browse through, say: "PICK

ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal

position and scream "NO!.It's those voices again!!!" And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while . then yell

loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 2:49 pm

Oh geez, Tombstone...Why, WHY did you have to give him these ideas??!!!?!?!

Of course, now he'll WANT to go shopping with me. That is TOO damn funny, loved it!

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 2:53 pm

that was really good!

...you gave away one of my tricks, when i used to bust shoplifters for walmart i would hide in clothing racks, people were always reporting me! LOL

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 2:54 pm

Yes, it is indeed dangerous to give men new ideas about shopping!

Post by **kensloft** » Fri Mar 25, 2005 3:53 pm

:yh_rotfl :yh_worshp :yh_rotfl

robinseggs · Post by **robinseggs** » Sat Mar 26, 2005 8:32 am

OMG! Hysterical!!! I was in Walmart about a month ago and passing by the office/desk/furniture section.....and some husband had sat down in one of those office swivel chairs. He was completely PASSED out!!! He had his arms folded across his chest and his head kept bobbing.....I was just dying!!! My 4 yr old yelled really loud, "Hey look mommy! There's a MAN in there sleeping!" I had to wonder how long he had been in there, although most men can fall asleep on the drop of a dime...what's up with that anyway!???!!

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 4:03 am

That sounds like any store in Ireland:D

robinseggs · Post by **robinseggs** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 8:51 pm

capt_buzzard wrote: That sounds like any store in Ireland:D

That is too funny!! Must be a lot of patient men there.....I call them the "bench sitters"!!!!! LOL

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 10:04 pm

But if I catch 'em embarrassing me I send them to store for KOTEX!!!