Please talk down to me - teacher

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 6:09 pm

My nine year old just told me that a teacher at her school asked her to use "smaller words". I asked her if she was using the words properly and she just gave me one of those "gimme a break" looks. The conversation was just between her and the teacher, there was no concern about other kids not understanding what was said. This established...WHAT does she mean "use smaller words". How could a nine year old POSSIBLY be using words that a teacher doesn't understand? I find this scary.

Post by **spot** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 9:16 pm

I was talking about this with one of mine earlier in the week, about the occasions in school around that age when her assumptions were jarred. I think most of what disconcerted people was material from books that she'd read. Most of what disconcerted her, in turn, was that she assumed that anything she knew was inevitably common knowledge. Any teacher who isn't delighted to have a conversation with a child who branches off the conveyor belt is missing a treat. I'd have thought it was moments like that which made the job exciting.

koan · Post by **koan** » Thu Jun 02, 2005 9:33 pm

I think it's incredible the things she says. That a teacher is discouraging her to speak intelligently and discuss topics beyond her age is, frankly, quite astounding to me. I've even had a babysitter tell me that my child was to blame for her child bullying mine because mine "has too much imagination. The other kids can't keep up with her". Apparently the other kids didn't understand her so that justified telling her "no one cares what you think". So she gets this from her peers and now, not just adults, but teachers are telling her to use "smaller words". I don't really know what to tell her as this type of reaction to intelligence is, apparently, not just limited to children.

Post by **spot** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 3:28 am

I just asked her what the things were, and when. She guesses when she was about eight, and recalls very surreal conversations about Escher, Monty Python, Deep Purple, computers, how the suspension bridge was made and why people said carrots help you see in the dark, which all sounds more like stuff from conversations at home than from books. I know why I thought books, though, she spent months back then talking about Jung Chang's family biography, Wild Swans.

Is there no clique peer group that shares her interests? I'm sure she'll find one eventually, but it provides a lot of support if there's others like her. Other than that, she has you to take things to and talk with, and nobody counts more than you do. You're all the encouragement she really needs, for her to keep exploring.

A Karenina · Post by **A Karenina** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:57 am

Koan, she'll be ok...and I agree with Spot that you provide a great environment for her to learn and explore in. Frankly, since she is bright and curious, she'd continue to expand her horizons anyway - though she might learn to hide her intelligence from others. And I say this as the small town girl who was banned from the public library for "reading too much". Thankfully my father didn't agree, and he bought books for me after that.

Meanwhile, be proud! And revel in the friendship you two are creating. :-6

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 6:00 am

I was called in to a parent conference when my daughter was in the third grade because my daughter was using "big" words. The teacher explained to me that my child could not possibly know their meaning and must be growing up in a liberal thinking household. I called my daughter into the room and asked her to define the words the teacher was talking about - she did. I gave the teacher a "give me a break" look and we left. My daughter actually called it the "die bitch die" look.

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:15 am

So it DOES happen to others! Her types of conversation that are causing problems are Monty Python humour and Chicken Soup for the Soul books. She wants to be a counsellor or therapist when she's older and is studying human relationships and problem resolution. I suggested yesterday that she try spending time with older kids and not to stop being herself.

AK, you got banned from the library?? For reading! Oh, lord. It's worse than I thought. :wah:

nvv, that's a much better description for the look. I think there is nothing more important to a child than seeing their parents defending them.

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 9:23 am

Each child develops at their own rate and this may be helped or hindered by teachers and other outside influences. Teachers should try to develop each child according to each child`s INDIVIDUAL needs, but of course this just isn`t always possible.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:50 pm

koan wrote: So it DOES happen to others! Her types of conversation that are causing problems are Monty Python humour and Chicken Soup for the Soul books. She wants to be a counsellor or therapist when she's older and is studying human relationships and problem resolution. I suggested yesterday that she try spending time with older kids and not to stop being herself.

AK, you got banned from the library?? For reading! Oh, lord. It's worse than I thought. :wah:

nvv, that's a much better description for the look. I think there is nothing more important to a child than seeing their parents defending them.

You defend your child when it is appropriate and you teach them when they are not. Notice - I didn't say when kids are wrong - it's always a teaching thing

koan · Post by **koan** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:58 pm

I got a book from the library today called "Winnie-the-Pooh on Problem Solving". It's written for adults but in a way that can be shared with children. We're going to read it together every night. I highly suspect she is Winnie-the Pooh and I am Rabbit.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:22 pm

I highly suspect you are Mom and she is the child - what a concept!!!!