A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Discussion group for bereaved parents.This forum offers support, understanding, compassion and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of their children, grandchildren or siblings.
Calacruf
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Calacruf »

I'm having a political discussion with somebody at the moment about the future of cloning. The person I'm arguing with seems to be under the impression that most parents who have lost a child would love to simply replace them with a clone. I myself assume that it would be rather impossible to just "replace" a child and go on with life as though it never happened, and find the idea of it rather unhealthy. Do you agree or disagree with this sentiment?

PS: I wish the best for everyone here who is trying to cope with such a tragedy, and thank you for your input.
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Oscar Namechange
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Oscar Namechange »

Calacruf;1261557 wrote: I'm having a political discussion with somebody at the moment about the future of cloning. The person I'm arguing with seems to be under the impression that most parents who have lost a child would love to simply replace them with a clone. I myself assume that it would be rather impossible to just "replace" a child and go on with life as though it never happened, and find the idea of it rather unhealthy. Do you agree or disagree with this sentiment?

PS: I wish the best for everyone here who is trying to cope with such a tragedy, and thank you for your input. We lost my husbands little boy to a rare childrens cancer aged 4 years old. The big question is, in these such case, would the clone also have the disease?
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Mustang
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Mustang »

Calacruf;1261557 wrote: I'm having a political discussion with somebody at the moment about the future of cloning. The person I'm arguing with seems to be under the impression that most parents who have lost a child would love to simply replace them with a clone. I myself assume that it would be rather impossible to just "replace" a child and go on with life as though it never happened, and find the idea of it rather unhealthy. Do you agree or disagree with this sentiment?

PS: I wish the best for everyone here who is trying to cope with such a tragedy, and thank you for your input.


I know parents that have lost a child and mourn their loss deeply. Not in their wildest dreams would they consider cloning as an option to replace what they have lost.

How can the personality, traits of a human being be exactly reproduced through cloning? IMO, they can't. That's something that is developed over time. Thus, an exact replacement could not be obtained.
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AussiePam
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by AussiePam »

Calacruf;1261557 wrote: I'm having a political discussion with somebody at the moment about the future of cloning. The person I'm arguing with seems to be under the impression that most parents who have lost a child would love to simply replace them with a clone. I myself assume that it would be rather impossible to just "replace" a child and go on with life as though it never happened, and find the idea of it rather unhealthy. Do you agree or disagree with this sentiment?

PS: I wish the best for everyone here who is trying to cope with such a tragedy, and thank you for your input.


FFS, I wish the chattering classes would just for once bloody well stay out of subjects that are not chatterable about. This is your first and only post. What the F sort of troll are you???!!!!!
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

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Oscar Namechange
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Oscar Namechange »

AussiePam;1261655 wrote: FFS, I wish the chattering classes would just for once bloody well stay out of subjects that are not chatterable about. I tend to agree with you Pam. It's a highly sensitive subject for parents. My husband saw this thread and would not participate.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Bryn Mawr
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Bryn Mawr »

A clone could not and would not replace that which was lost - I know of no-one who would consider that to be the case.
K.Snyder
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by K.Snyder »

Mustang;1261591 wrote: How can the personality, traits of a human being be exactly reproduced through cloning? IMO, they can't. That's something that is developed over time. Thus, an exact replacement could not be obtained.


Bryn Mawr;1261850 wrote: A clone could not and would not replace that which was lost - I know of no-one who would consider that to be the case.


Even by cloning you'd be taking away the life of the second to appease the first and is infinitely immoral, the entire ordeal! I can't imagine losing a child. I couldn't begin to imagine losing a second!
K.Snyder
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by K.Snyder »

AussiePam;1261655 wrote: FFS, I wish the chattering classes would just for once bloody well stay out of subjects that are not chatterable about. This is your first and only post. What the F sort of troll are you???!!!!!


Would it not be well worth it to prevent anyone from succumbing to the idea they'd be replacing the child they'd lost by cloning one?

They'd do nothing but increase their sadness.
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Kathy Ellen
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Post by Kathy Ellen »

AussiePam;1261655 wrote: FFS, I wish the chattering classes would just for once bloody well stay out of subjects that are not chatterable about. This is your first and only post. What the F sort of troll are you???!!!!!


Sorry Pam:-4
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AussiePam
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Post by AussiePam »

Thanks, Kathy. You know, trolls and airheads will always be with us in forums like this.

I think the question itself is not a bad question. Should one clone humans? With all the implications. BUT out of common decency - and we don't expect trolls to have that but we should expect it of the FG family - surely the discussion should be taken out of the area where grieving parents may come to let out a bit of pain. Take it to the Philosophy or Societal Issues section.
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"

Calacruf
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Calacruf »

I'm sorry if you guys misinterpreted me as a troll, but to be fair the title of this forum does say that it's for "understanding" as well. That's what I'm trying to do... s:

I know parents that have lost a child and mourn their loss deeply. Not in their wildest dreams would they consider cloning as an option to replace what they have lost.

How can the personality, traits of a human being be exactly reproduced through cloning? IMO, they can't. That's something that is developed over time. Thus, an exact replacement could not be obtained.
Thank you, and that's exactly what I told him. Still disagrees though, so I figured I'd try to get answers directly from parents, then we'd know who was right or wrong based on the majority.
K.Snyder
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by K.Snyder »

Calacruf;1261967 wrote: I'm sorry if you guys misinterpreted me as a troll, but to be fair the title of this forum does say that it's for "understanding" as well. That's what I'm trying to do... s:



Thank you, and that's exactly what I told him. Still disagrees though, so I figured I'd try to get answers directly from parents, then we'd know who was right or wrong based on the majority.


Calacruf, with all due respect, you're asking a question based off of individual preferences. The answers you seek will change nothing of this persons mentality because it's just that, a preference!

The question is only logically suited for those that have cloned a child in response to one they've lost. It's why you'll get greeted with hostility.

How long has it been since your friend lost the child?

Perhaps your friend is acting out of impulse. It's a very traumatic experience I'm sure.

Your friend in all likelihood is just coping with it as best they know how.
farmer giles
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Post by farmer giles »

as a parent who has lost a child which even after all these years still hurts like hell ,i dont know about other parents that have lost children but for me life was never the same after:thinking:

i cant personally think of anything more painful than seeing an exact replica of the child you have lost ,being reminded each and every day of just how your child would of been:(:(
Debb
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Debb »

As a bereaved parent, I am able to offer the following education regarding your question. Once a person is thrust into the role of bereaved parent, the journey of re-creation begins. Isn't that interesting, as re-creation is a word that would easily align itself to the word cloning. Cloning would not serve as any kind of replacement and would not fit because as soon as you become a bereaved parent, you and everything and everyone around you has changed. Go to WIN-WIN PUBLISHING - Home, click onto Recapturing the Joy link (name of a book I have authored especially for bereaved parents), and at the bottom of the page where tv interview/video links are, have a peek at the 7.24 minute one. You will hear what I mean. Have a great day !! Deb
koan
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Post by koan »

Very good interview with Debb. I found it very honest and generous.



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BTS
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Post by BTS »

I had reservations replying to this topic as I lost a son, but not in the normal way you would suppose.

In 1977 my first wife went into labor a month early. It was our first child after 2 miscarriages, I was called at work and headed down to the big city 50 miles away.

When I arrived they already had her in the birthing room and had her PUSSSSHHING.... They had a fetal monitor on her stomach (I think that is what t is called) and had a heart beat.

They could feel the head, so they kept having her push...PUSH MRS...R%$@*$...PUSSHH. After awhile they brought in a machine to monitor inside her and got nothing. They said the machine

must be bad.... PUUSSSHHH.......This went on for over 10 hrs into the night. Now remember this was when ultrasound was quite new and they were using it saying that everything looked ok. About 2 hours in to the Ultrasound I finally said "Could there be twins

About then they whisked me out and took her into another room. 20 minutes later I got the results that burn in my ears still today....

Mr R#*@%$ we have good news and we have bad news Your wife is fine, you have a 4lb 2 oz son but he had a identical twin brother that was stillborn....What do you want to do with the stillborn? What do you say? It was a bad time in our lives and still today I look at my 6'4" 210 lb son and see two not one. I would never clone as thread is about cloning....
"If America Was A Tree, The Left Would Root For The Termites...Greg Gutfeld."
Debb
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Post by Debb »

koan;1345467 wrote: Very good interview with Debb. I found it very honest and generous.






Thankyou koan for your very kind words. And thankyou for taking the time to watch and to share ! :))
koan
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by koan »

Admittedly, I was wary about your link. Unfortunately, there are lots of people that are happy to pray on people in a fragile state. Fortunately, you are not one of them. I think you are a very wise woman, indeed.

I lost a child in stillbirth which, as hard as it was, I don't think was as hard as losing a child that you've had time to bond with, as you did. I admire your courage in writing your book as well as for being able to talk about the pain of it all in an interview. I can write about it but I have trouble talking about it without crying and I hate crying in front of anyone. I think having another child who is still living helps bring you back from the abyss. I think it must be a lot harder for people who lose their only child to refocus and remember that life has to go on with some semblance of sanity. I was told by nurses that my emotional recovery was remarkable and that I should share my coping skills with other parents, but I haven't. I appreciate what it takes to bare your soul the way you have. There is some healing in helping other people heal but, beyond that, I think there aren't enough resources addressing what really happens in the mind of a parent who loses a child so, thank you.

As far as the cloning aspect of the thread goes. I wouldn't blame anyone for their fantasies or longings while grieving. Sometimes a terrible idea occurs and the best thing is to let it live in your mind. Once you run through the scenario honestly and without fear you usually find that the result is no better than reality. It's like facing a fear. If you never consider it, it lingers in the back of your mind. If you think cloning through, you end up with a terrible mimic like Pet Sematary. Let your angels rest in peace.
Debb
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A Question For Parents That Have Lost A Child...

Post by Debb »

Hi Koan ~ Your message was a lovely gift to wake up to and read this morning ~ thankyou ! I am sorry for the loss you have endured. I believe losing a child creates the same pain for all, regardless of age of child or circumstance. I remember being in that place of not being able to speak about my loss without crying. This, too, shall pass for you ~ when you are completely healed from the pain. So you can use it as a marker, if you will, on this journey. Because someday you will wake up and find yourself speaking of it without the tears and that will put a smile on your face because you will recognize the progress you are making. And yes, you are right about there not being enough resources. There are lots of "intellectual" based books offering advice but not really providing any guide for people. That is one of the reasons I wrote the book and created journalling opportunities for people to help speed up the process of restoring true happiness because my own was 10+ years. I wanted to create a heart-to-heart resource. I don't know if you watched my other video (the one marked 7.24 minutes) but that one may be helpful to you also at this time. I am enjoying our chats here and actually I started a thread on this site a few years back, titled recapturing the joy ~ maybe I will catch you in there one day ! What Province are you in ? If you wish to share. Off to have my morning tea now ~ have a lovely day ~ Debb xo :))

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