Sweet baby Ace

Discussion group for bereaved parents.This forum offers support, understanding, compassion and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings struggling to rebuild their lives after the death of their children, grandchildren or siblings.
Heathurr
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:07 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by Heathurr »

I'm so glad I found this website. I feel like I need to share my story and talk about things, but everyone around me feels like they need to completely avoid thinking about my son. My son, Ace Samuel, passed away at 6 weeks and 2 hours old. His chances of surviving were not real great, but we all had hope. I always thought I was going to be bringing home my miracle baby. He was born at only 23weeks gestation due to my water breaking at 20 weeks. I had an emergency C-section when infection set in. Ace was a little fighter from the start. He was so so tiny when he was born, but he was doing so great. Growing and thriving everyday. Out of nowhere he developed an infection in the early hours of December 3rd and doctors tried all day long to help him. By around 8:30PM there was no hope. They had already had to do chest compressions and it nothing was helping my little guy. I was ready to let him go. They were getting things together to transfer him to a bereavement room where we would take him off the ventilator and spend his last few moments together as a family. Before they had the chance to move him, I was holding his little head in one hand and his tiny feet in my other hand and telling him how much he was loved and I told him he didn't have to be strong anymore and it was okay to let go. His heart stopped then. And that was it. I'm thankful that I didn't actually have to make the decision to take his life support away. He made the decision himself. I never thought that I would be given such an amazing gift and then it be ripped away so suddenly. Nobody should have to bury their child. It's been just a month and 3 days since he's been gone and it seems to get harder and harder every day. He's all I think about. It seems like everything is a reminder. I feel like I was just completely cheated out of parenthood. I'm struggling, but I know I will get through this tough time.

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valerie
Posts: 7125
Joined: Sun Sep 05, 2004 12:00 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by valerie »

I'm so sorry. Nobody should have to bury their child, you're right.

I hope by coming here and telling us about it it helps you in some small way.

It might seem harder and harder now, but do the old "fake it 'till you make it"

and hang on the best you can, and it WILL get better.

Many cyber hugs wending their way to you!
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AnneBoleyn
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Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:17 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by AnneBoleyn »

I wrote a long reply to you, Heathurr, but my cats were playing & disrupted my being able to reply by disconnecting the computer.

Briefly, what I had said was I understand your pain as what you are describing is very similar to what happened to me. My baby girl should be turning 27 this February. She, too, was born way before she should have. I light a candle for her on her birthday & can't believe the years passed so fast. As does life itself.

I had said it is not unusual for people to shy away from death & wanting to avoid talking about it. I asked if you & Ace's dad are able to share your grief together. I advised you to seek out a Bereavement Group, to share with others feeling the pain of loss. Perhaps your local Hospice could connect you with such a group. I complimented you on the name Ace Samuel---what a wonderful name!

You are welcome to share your burden here as well, & I hope you can find some comfort here. Warm wishes to you Heathurr, and don't rush yourself, a month is a very short time. Take the time you need, all the time you need.
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AnneBoleyn
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Joined: Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:17 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by AnneBoleyn »

PS--He was a beautiful little boy. I have a picture of my equally small beautiful little girl, & her footprint.
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Snooz
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Joined: Sat Jan 20, 2007 7:05 am

Sweet baby Ace

Post by Snooz »

I'm crying my eyes out now. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Heathurr
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:07 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by Heathurr »

Thank you all so much. Just posting the thread has helped me out quite a bit.

AnneBoleyn, yes, his dad and I are able to talk about it and be open with each other. A lot of the time there's not any words to be said, just each other's presence is enough to help. I was looking into a bereavement group, but I live in a very small town and haven't found one close enough to me. I fell in love with the name Ace as soon as I heard it and I knew that it was going to be his name. I didn't think anything but Samuel sounded right with it. Nobody could change my mind. I have many pictures of the many hours I have spent in the NICU with him and a few of him after they took all of the tubes and needles out and foots prints and a mold of his footprints so I can feel his little feet. The hospital was very good with that kind of thing. They gave us a memory box to keep everything in, too.
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along-for-the-ride
Posts: 11732
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by along-for-the-ride »

Little Snowdrop - Author Unknown

The world may never notice

If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,

Or even pause to wonder

If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,

Or ever comes to be,

Touches the world in some small way

For all eternity.

The little one we longed for

Was swiftly here and gone.

But the love that was then planted

Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,

Our hearts know what to do.

For every beating of our hearts

Says that we love you.



My sincere condolences.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
Heathurr
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:07 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by Heathurr »

Thank you for that poem! (:
Patsy Warnick
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Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2006 12:53 am

Sweet baby Ace

Post by Patsy Warnick »

Heathurr

I hope you can feel all of our arms around you.

We/ I hope you find comfort here.

my condolences

Patsy
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Lady J
Posts: 1085
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2011 6:08 pm

Sweet baby Ace

Post by Lady J »

It is sad when a life not even started is lost.

Best wishes to you.

Lady J

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