Unintentionally Funny Medical Transcripts From Hospitals

[superhorn]

These are actual medical transcripts from hospitals :

The patient is here with a rash which I sent to Dr. Smith .

Patient is a prime rib .

Patient has abnormal lover function .

Despite treatment, the patient improved .

Rectal exam reveals a normal sized thyroid .

Patient has very close veins .

On exam, he has cigarettes in his pocket .

The patient has pain after intercourse in his chest .

The patient slipped on the porch when she went out to feed the birds and broke her

ankle . The birds were not injured .

History and physical : Mrs. Blank is a 64 year old black widow .

The patient was placed under the microscope .

The barium enema on the phone was within normal limits .

The child will probably be shorter than what he wants to be, but he should have picked

different parents .

The patient said that she was too sick to be in the hospital but would come back when she felt better .

While in the examine room, she was examined , X-rated and sent home .

She is numb from her toes down .

Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles .

She stated that she had been constipated until 1989 when she got a divorce .

The patient was to have a bowel resection, but took a job as a stockbroker instead .

The patient lives with his mother, father, and a pet turtle who is currently enrolled in

day care three days a week .



:wah: :wah: :wah:

[AnneBoleyn]

:yh_rotfl