Weapons of Math Instruction

Dizz · Post by **Dizz** » Fri Jan 13, 2006 9:16 pm

Weapons of Math Instruction

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a protractor, a T-square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. The man is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search for absolute value. They use secret code names like x and y and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to dis-integrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."

Tombstone · Post by **Tombstone** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 12:19 am

ha! funny! thank you. :p

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 7:52 am

Oh, that is great!:wah:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 2:54 pm

:yh_rotfl I just sprayed coffee all over my abacus. :-2

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 3:03 pm

Math dogs.........................(just because they're cute!)

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Jan 14, 2006 3:07 pm

chonsigirl wrote: Math dogs.........................(just because they're cute!)

Hey. They multiply, right? They fit right in this thread.

I just luuv border collies.

big red · Post by **big red** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:13 am

very cute, they look stuffed. is what they need

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 10:33 am

No, beer is bad for little doggies....................................

I didn't say about anyone else!

orpheus · Post by **orpheus** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:01 pm

Kneel to my power.

Dizz · Post by **Dizz** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:29 pm

Oh my gawd! I actually had one of those. I used this more:

Those were the days! :rolleyes:

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 4:25 pm

Dizz wrote: Oh my gawd! I actually had one of those. I used this more:

Those were the days! :rolleyes:
The days?!? wasn't that last week?

Here's what we used. Rocks & sticks!

erasamus snoggle · Post by **erasamus snoggle** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 10:10 am

OK, Algebra wizzards. I've got a little treat for you. Solve this and provide an explanation of your answer.

(x-a)(x-b)(x-c) ... (x-z) =

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 11:32 am

erasamus snoggle wrote: OK, Algebra wizzards. I've got a little treat for you. Solve this and provide an explanation of your answer.

(x-a)(x-b)(x-c) ... (x-z) =
Answer is on this page.................

http://mathforum.org/library/drmath/view/53288.html

erasamus snoggle · Post by **erasamus snoggle** » Thu Feb 23, 2006 10:36 pm

You've provided a variety of options, but no answer of your own. I'll give you an E for effort, but that's all.