I Must Be Losing It..............

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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

So, I just came back from shopping. I used my old falling apart walker which was given to me for the seven years the doctors couldn't figure out WHY I couldn't walk (Duh). I don't like to carry heavy stuff & I bought 15 lbs. of cat litter. Feeling fine. So this woman, in her fifties, I think, stops me & with a Russian accent asks me if I speak Russian. All there are are Russians around here. Predominantly Russian. I say, "no, English". I had a feeling she wanted more than directions. She says "I'm a Home Care Attendant, do you have need of my services (something like that)"

So I yell "How dare you Insult Me!, Get Out of My Way, you Efffing Bitch"!! using the real word, of course.

I was wearing a Star Trek T-Shirt! Now I feel like I'm 90 years old. I should have said "NO, but Paul McCartney (or Mick Jagger) might, Do You Suck Cock?"

I'm heaving with anger & I feel like an old crone.

I don't like this getting older thing, not one bit, nothing about it, nothing. I hate it. I guess I'll admit I'm at the "Will you still need me, will you still feed me" age. Don't even like the song anymore.
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

This is bringing out a hurt in me, a real pain. I actually feel like crying.

:yh_brokeh :yh_cry :yh_cry
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YZGI
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Post by YZGI »

Umm, I wonder what her answer would have been to your pointed question?
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

YZ, I missed you & your humor so much!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry you answered though, as I came back to delete this thread, now thanks to you it's too late.

I'm really a nervous wreck lately, and by some miracle I'm not screaming out loud every waking minute. I meditate now, for the past year in an attempt to shut up & accept. But this dame pressed my buttons. I don't think she was that much younger than me.
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Post by LarsMac »

Wow. I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with the getting old thing, Anne.

I am still in denial, myself. I can't think of anything to like about it, either.
Control is an illusion. The Chaos is all part of the fun.
-Susan Hattie Steinsapir
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Post by LarsMac »

AnneBoleyn;1456550 wrote: YZ, I missed you & your humor so much!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry you answered though, as I came back to delete this thread, now thanks to you it's too late.

I'm really a nervous wreck lately, and by some miracle I'm not screaming out loud every waking minute. I meditate now, for the past year in an attempt to shut up & accept. But this dame pressed my buttons. I don't think she was that much younger than me.


I could delete this thread (I got connections, ya know.), if you still want it gone, though I think you raise a good subject. Maybe talking (typing) about it could help.

.
Control is an illusion. The Chaos is all part of the fun.
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

It's the loss of power that I hate. I was a powerful person, fearless & fearsome. Now I ............ I'm not.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

LarsMac;1456552 wrote: I could delete this thread (I got connections, ya know.), if you still want it gone, though I think you raise a good subject. Maybe talking (typing) about it could help.

.


Thanks Lars, but I guess I'll let the chips fall where they may. It will be off soon enough on it's own. But thank you, very much.
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Post by Patsy Warnick »

Anne

OMG - I laughed:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl Paul & Mick..!:yh_rotfl

I read this to my Hubby & Brother - we all laughed - so, Thank You for that.

Getting old sucks - we have limitations where we never did before.

Honestly, I couldn't lift 15 lbs. of Cat Litter - maybe this lady was trying to be nice to help you with that?

depressing I know - I don't like to be called Maam.

It's OK - scream

Patsy
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Post by Saint_ »

AnneBoleyn;1456555 wrote: It's the loss of power that I hate. I was a powerful person, fearless & fearsome. Now I ............ I'm not.


Well...first of all, that's not true. You are still an extremely powerful intellect. ( I suspect powerful spiritually as well.) Secondly, that was a seriously inappropriate question for a stranger to ask, and unsolicited as well! That as tactless as asking a woman if she is pregnant. She might as well have asked if she could film you in the bathroom or what color your underwear was.:-2

I think your response, although emotional, was to be expected. Perhaps she'll think twice about being insensitive in the future.:-5

By the way, my response to the kids when they ask me rude or insensitive questions (something which happens nearly every day) is, "That's OK...It's not like I have feelings or anything!":wah:
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Post by Saint_ »

Also...I would have crushed her foot with my walker.
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Saint_;1456560 wrote: Also...I would have crushed her foot with my walker.


I don't know if you watch "Game of Thrones" but I wanted to do an Oberon on her.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Patsy Warnick;1456558 wrote: Anne

OMG - I laughed:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl Paul & Mick..!:yh_rotfl

I read this to my Hubby & Brother - we all laughed - so, Thank You for that.

Getting old sucks - we have limitations where we never did before.

Honestly, I couldn't lift 15 lbs. of Cat Litter - maybe this lady was trying to be nice to help you with that?

depressing I know - I don't like to be called Maam.

It's OK - scream

Patsy


Yes, Patsy, I really can be a regular riot! But no, she wasn't trying to be nice, just another opportunist, behaving like most of the Russians do around here, which is be obnoxious.
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Saint_: "You are still an extremely powerful intellect. ( I suspect powerful spiritually as well.)"

I'm flabbergasted! I think I've turned into a drooling idiot!

"Perhaps she'll think twice about being insensitive in the future."

Nope. She'll only deal with other Russians.

eta--"She might as well have asked if she could film you in the bathroom or what color your underwear was."

Actually, that wouldn't have bothered me!
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Post by along-for-the-ride »

Read this article, Anne, and tell me what you think.

http://www.folkstory.com/articles/goodnews.html



I was born in 1950, so I'm not preaching. I'm pondering my age and noticing the changes. Where did the time go?

" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

I've only got this one life, and I'm going to try to appreciate every moment, no matter. I also count my blessings.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

I should explain after 6 leg surgeries (the problem was finally discovered to be lack of circulation), I don't use the walker anymore, except for heavy shopping. I do use a cane, but it's mostly psychological & sometimes even gets in my way. I did once use it as a weapon, but that's a whole other story.
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Oscar Namechange
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Post by Oscar Namechange »

It's called pride Anne.

See me? I'd have responded with ' Hey b.itch, cut the crap. You're no younger than me, you got more wrinkles than an elephants arsse, your hair would make straw feel good and I don't know If anyone's ever told you but you stink like last weeks fish supper, Now do one will you?

But then, I'm just rude,
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Oscar Namechange;1456566 wrote: It's called pride Anne.

See me? I'd have responded with ' Hey b.itch, cut the crap. You're no younger than me, you got more wrinkles than an elephants arsse, your hair would make straw feel good and I don't know If anyone's ever told you but you stink like last weeks fish supper, Now do one will you?

But then, I'm just rude,


Rude? Where's that rude? :yh_rotfl

Too bad we weren't walking together!
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Post by LarsMac »

along-for-the-ride;1456564 wrote: Read this article, Anne, and tell me what you think.

The Good News About Getting Older - Nine Keys to Aging Well



I was born in 1950, so I'm not preaching. I'm pondering my age and noticing the changes. Where did the time go?

" God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

I've only got this one life, and I'm going to try to appreciate every moment, no matter. I also count my blessings.


And my first reaction was, "Screw all the philosophical claptrap. I am going down kicking and screaming."
Control is an illusion. The Chaos is all part of the fun.
-Susan Hattie Steinsapir
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

AFTR--Beautiful picture accompanying the article! & of course I intellectually know the wisdom of those words. Sometimes intellect & emotion survive on different planes within the same human being.

After a year+ of heavy, lovely meditation one might think I'd take a deep breath before popping my cork, but I haven't learned how to do that yet. I'm working on it.

eta---AFTR, I took a closer look at the site your link comes from & found it real interesting! I'm a big fan of Joseph Campbell. Thanks for the introduction, I want to explore that site further.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

LarsMac;1456568 wrote: And my first reaction was, "Screw all the philosophical claptrap. I am going down kicking and screaming."


I love what Gill says "I'm growing old DISGRACEFULLY." My new motto.
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Post by Bruv »

Annie Annie Annie.............calm down think of your blood pressure.

Getting old ? Feeling weak, less able ?

Just yesterday I sanded down my wooden worktop and re-oiled it, took it out of me.....big time.

I have spent a working lifetime lifting weighty things, sawing, sanding, wood and glass, fixing this fixing that.

I have sat best part of a year looking at my home wanting to do things, a bit of paint there, some wallpaper there.

I know exactly how you feel, but come on girl............I come on here to get cheered up.....and it's your turn tonight.
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

I take ALL my blood pressure medications. No problems there! Actually what keeps me calm is fear of Arrest!
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Post by Bruv »

AnneBoleyn;1456572 wrote: I take ALL my blood pressure medications. No problems there! Actually what keeps me calm is fear of Arrest!


So there were no Officers around when the Ruskie approached earlier today then?
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Oh, yelling is ok in America. & I'm not sure I yelled, it was my insides that were yelling. I think. I think I just spoke sharply & only a little loud. But if I ran the walker over her foot, like my good friend Saint_ suggested, well, there may have been a wee bit of a problem!
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Post by Oscar Namechange »

On a serious note, It's about how we perceive ourselves.

Sometimes the person we see In the mirror Is not how we see ourselves.

I've seen profiles where the user's avatar Is of a young girl In their prime and then the truth Is, the pic Is 20 years old. The reality Is very different to how they want us to perceive them.

In our minds, we are still that young, able woman and the anger we feel Is when someone Is challenging the Image we have ourselves, and that hurts.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Post by Lady J »

AnneBoleyn;1456547 wrote: So, I just came back from shopping. I used my old falling apart walker which was given to me for the seven years the doctors couldn't figure out WHY I couldn't walk (Duh). I don't like to carry heavy stuff & I bought 15 lbs. of cat litter. Feeling fine. I was wearing a Star Trek T-Shirt!


If you can carry 15 pounds of cat litter while using an old walker and wearing a Star Trek T-Shirt....You don't sound like a crone to me. I, without a walker; find 15 pounds of cat litter enuf to handle. ;)

Anne ....don't let others beat you down....You sound strong of mind and spirit and that is where youth lies.
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Post by Lady J »

I actually think this is stemming from your son and daughter-in-law Wedding shower coming up this Sunday....didn't you write about going shopping with them and the frustration of it?

Relax Anne...you will be beautiful and you will enjoy yourself and you will be happy for your son and his new wife.

Don't think of it as growing old...think of it as being more knowledgably of life and learning how to deal with things and overcoming to stay self sustained....that alone is an accomplishment!

And every now and then take the time to fly a kite!!

sounds silly...but try it. if you can handle 15 pounds of cat litter you can fly a kite!

Lifts the spirits!:guitarist
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Post by valerie »

Sigh... the ones that get me are the ones that offer to take whatever

out and put it in my car for me. Uh gee, thanks sonny but are you going to follow me

home and unload it for me, too?

I've given up with the ma'ams, I finally had to, but they still cause an inner irk with me.

I may be older and I may have my grunts and groans, but dammit, I can still DO stuff,

you young whippersnappers have no IDEA, leave me alone! Especially any Russian bitches

who want me to spend money on them, which was really what that was about!! Yeah, I'm

gonna pick up a caregiver off the street, sure... that's sensible!

FUME!!

(There, Anne, am I supportive enough?)

;)
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Oscar Namechange;1456577 wrote: On a serious note, It's about how we perceive ourselves.

Sometimes the person we see In the mirror Is not how we see ourselves.

I've seen profiles where the user's avatar Is of a young girl In their prime and then the truth Is, the pic Is 20 years old. The reality Is very different to how they want us to perceive them.

In our minds, we are still that young, able woman and the anger we feel Is when someone Is challenging the Image we have ourselves, and that hurts.


Great deal of truth in what you say.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Lady J;1456578 wrote: If you can carry 15 pounds of cat litter while using an old walker and wearing a Star Trek T-Shirt....You don't sound like a crone to me. I, without a walker; find 15 pounds of cat litter enuf to handle. ;)

Anne ....don't let others beat you down....You sound strong of mind and spirit and that is where youth lies.


No, I used the basket of the walker to carry the 15 lbs. of cat litter; I find the walker easier to use than a shopping cart for heavy loads.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Lady J;1456579 wrote: I actually think this is stemming from your son and daughter-in-law Wedding shower coming up this Sunday....didn't you write about going shopping with them and the frustration of it?

Relax Anne...you will be beautiful and you will enjoy yourself and you will be happy for your son and his new wife.

Don't think of it as growing old...think of it as being more knowledgably of life and learning how to deal with things and overcoming to stay self sustained....that alone is an accomplishment!

And every now and then take the time to fly a kite!!

sounds silly...but try it. if you can handle 15 pounds of cat litter you can fly a kite!

Lifts the spirits!:guitarist


The shower is tomorrow, Sunday, & yes, I am a nervous wreak about it. I'm no longer a spontaneous person. I hate change, even if it might be good. Through meditation, I've been able to adjust to my own routine with peace & acceptance. However, I haven't gotten as far on my spiritual journey to put this into actual ACTION which includes Doing Stuff that most people take for granted.

I've had no middle age. I went from a younger woman to a widow to a chronically ill person to wake up to now, where some others have perceived me as 'old'. I can walk again for the first time in years. I'm just starting out in life again, & truthfully, it scares me to deal with it.

It took me long enough to adjust, & here I am adjusting Again. Even if it is adjusting to something better, it's still an adjustment. I'm getting over being worn out. So, yeah, my nerves are kinda shot.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

valerie, you are not only supportive enough, you gave me a good laugh & that's real important! Thanks!!!
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Post by jones jones »

Annie love ... Age is just a number. We have known each other here on FG for some time now and I would nevva evva evva have even suspected by our interaction that you even owned a walker leave alone used one. :-4
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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AnneBoleyn
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

jones jones;1456622 wrote: Annie love ... Age is just a number. We have known each other here on FG for some time now and I would nevva evva evva have even suspected by our interaction that you even owned a walker leave alone used one. :-4


After 6 surgeries in the past two years, I no longer use one. I use it for heavy shopping. I started using it because I was in extreme pain, whether walking or not, but if I wanted to go out, I couldn't without it. I was in my fifties, & felt humiliated because people immediately began treating me like I was 80++. Seriously, attitudes changed toward me & people started guessing my age as older than they presently do without it. I was very brave, I'll say so myself, to endure the humiliation which came with being treated as if I were decades older & therefore stupid. No schitt, that's how it was.

I also look a bit better because my face is no longer scrunched up in agonizing pain. & the idiot doctors misdiagnosed me for 7 years! I lost 7 years of my life, and at this stage I can't afford to lose anymore!
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Post by FourPart »

You don't have to be old to be incapacitated. It happens to the best of us.

A friend of mine, in his 40s, had to undergo a hip replacement & for months he was really frail, relying on having to use a walker to get about, despite the pain he had to endure in doing so. However, in the end he healed & is now as good as ever.

The point is that age doesn't matter. If someone offers to help, they're not necessarily being patronising, just thoughtful If they're touting for business, however, that's a different matter.

(I remember getting up to offer my seat on the bus once to a very heavily pregnant woman, only to be met with a string of abuse for my 'treating her like a cripple'. I felt really disjointed at that, as I had always been raised to live my the rules of courtesy & chivalry. I think times have simply changed & passed us by).
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

She was touting for business.

The pregnant woman should have said "No thank you."
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Post by Saint_ »

AnneBoleyn;1456565 wrote: I should explain after 6 leg surgeries (the problem was finally discovered to be lack of circulation),


That's the same thing my wife has....in her remaining leg, that is. Arterial clots got her other one amputated. If the blood thinners don't work and you get worse, my wife is on a new procedure called a cortical stimulator. A unit sends signals to the spinal cord that in turn sends signals to the leg to dilate the capillaries. It's all implanted and recharges by induction (a pad you lie on) so it's not a hassle. It works amazingly well, too. Her leg is doing much better. The Mayo Clinic told us they could even have saved her original leg with that procedure. The cortical stimulator was designed for severe pain management, so that's a bonus too. They've had remarkable success with it in Indonesia, but it's not approved by the seriously slow insurance companies in America.

It's something to think about if things get desperate with your leg.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Thank you Saint_ for that information. I have written it down on my next surgical appointment card so not to forget. Also, I will read more about it too. Both legs below the knee, though not at the same time, kept me awake most of the night last night. Thanks so much & I am overjoyed to hear your wife is doing better!!
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Post by Saint_ »

No problemo. You know I was complaining to a friend the other day that I had begun to get some grey hairs at my temples. He proceeded to take off his hat to show me that he only had hair at the temples. That shut me up! :)
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Post by Accountable »

I want to be Lon when I grow up, but I'd never admit it. ;)
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

Your secret is safe with me.
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Post by FourPart »

I started going grey when I was 13. Mind you, I did have a hormone imbalance as I also had a full beard by that time (which was also starting to show signs of greying).
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Post by YZGI »

AnneBoleyn;1456592 wrote: valerie, you are not only supportive enough, you gave me a good laugh & that's real important! Thanks!!!


So, I was wondering, being a chivalrous type of 50 something, just how do we approach a lady that may look in need,when truly wanting to help or just open or hold the door for you without getting chastised? And what may we call you instead of Ma'am? Will Princess work?:sneaky: No, how bout Miss?



Edit: Before posting this I self edited, my original would have gotten me beaten with a cane.:-2
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Post by YZGI »

Accountable;1457065 wrote: I want to be Lon when I grow up, but I'd never admit it. ;)


I just want his money.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

YZGI;1457169 wrote: So, I was wondering, being a chivalrous type of 50 something, just how do we approach a lady that may look in need,when truly wanting to help or just open or hold the door for you without getting chastised? And what may we call you instead of Ma'am? Will Princess work?:sneaky: No, how bout Miss?

Edit: Before posting this I self edited, my original would have gotten me beaten with a cane.:-2


This version will get you beaten with a cane. The woman who approached me had no desire to help me with anything, besides, I was walking well & straight & the bundle was in the basket of the walker. She approached me for herself, that she was fishing for a job. Not everyone with walking aids needs attendants, you know.

I appreciate a door being held, or any other human nicety, and I often offer help myself if I see it's useful. I just didn't like this dame, she wasn't much younger than me & I felt she was calling me 'old'. Just reacted to this 'type' I know well from this neighborhood. I would never hire anyone off the street, to come into my home, with dubious references, if she had any at all.
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Post by YZGI »

AnneBoleyn;1457181 wrote: This version will get you beaten with a cane. The woman who approached me had no desire to help me with anything, besides, I was walking well & straight & the bundle was in the basket of the walker. She approached me for herself, that she was fishing for a job. Not everyone with walking aids needs attendants, you know.

I appreciate a door being held, or any other human nicety, and I often offer help myself if I see it's useful. I just didn't like this dame, she wasn't much younger than me & I felt she was calling me 'old'. Just reacted to this 'type' I know well from this neighborhood. I would never hire anyone off the street, to come into my home, with dubious references, if she had any at all.
I sensed I had a caning coming.
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Post by AnneBoleyn »

YZGI;1457208 wrote: I sensed I had a caning coming.


Don't worry, you'll enjoy it. ;-)
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Post by YZGI »

AnneBoleyn;1457210 wrote: Don't worry, you'll enjoy it. ;-)
Fair enough, Miss, Ma'am, Madam.

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