pinkchick;722286 wrote: Do we tell those that we hold dear that we love them enough?
I don't. My dad's wife passed away last month, and I've been filled with remorse that I didn't know her better, talk to her more, tell her how I felt about her more often. I loved her and I loved how she was to my dad. These feelings have reminded me to be more forthcoming with my love - She taught me many lessons.
pinkchick;722286 wrote: It's so funny how situations change in a split second... Most of you know by now that I'm a big softie and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.
Something struck me today and I feel the need to share it with you guys.
I have a colleague who's family have been through so much in the past year. Without going into too much detail, her father was diagnosed with cancer a few months back. After a course of treatment, he went into remission. Two weeks ago he went for a check up and sadly they dicovered it was back.
He was taken into hospital for surgery but the tumor was too big and for one reason or another - the operation could not be done.
The doctors advised my friend's dad that he really only had a few months left. He has been quite ill this past few days and very sadly for my friend and her family, they were told today that it would be a matter of weeks :-1
My reason for telling you all this is - life can be gone in the blink of an eye and I wondered......Do we tell those that we hold dear that we love them enough?
hug u ,baby,cheer up,we should cherish our life time:-4
It dont know if how often you say I love you really is a good measurement for the amount of care, fellings, and trust you have for another is. One or even no I love you between a two people who trust ahd have a deep understanding for the feelings and care they have for each other be it a brother, sister, cousin, uncle, best friend, father is just as strong as any amount of " I love you" can be.
littleCJelkton;1313381 wrote: It dont know if how often you say I love you really is a good measurement for the amount of care, fellings, and trust you have for another is. One or even no I love you between a two people who trust ahd have a deep understanding for the feelings and care they have for each other be it a brother, sister, cousin, uncle, best friend, father is just as strong as any amount of " I love you" can be.
Thanks for your input. I guess everyone has their own way of expressing their love for others.
pinkchick;1308178 wrote: It's a shame that I have to update this thread at all, but my friends father (the man I mentioned in the opening post) passed away yesterday.
1.) Two people who have deep understanding for each other and care for each other and say I love you 20-80 times a day to each other
2.) Two people who have the same or better deep understanding and care for each other as the two above, but maybe only say I love you 0-2 times a day, but are satisfied with that because they don't need the constand verbal reassurance to let them know what kind of feelings they have for one another
I think that maybe the people in scenerio 1 not only love each other but the act of saying "I love you" be it your alone together at the house or out in public it gives feeling that other people hear it and that gives a somewhat reassuring sense that if other people know about your feelings for this person it makes them some what stronger.
Where as the people in scenerio 2 don't really care what everyone else thinks as long as they both know and understand their feelings for each other.
I am not saying one is better than the other, but saying I love you any amount of times, without feeling behind it and without understanding of what love is especially what it means for you and what ever person you are saying "I love you" to doesn't in anyway really do anything to greater solidfy the fact that you "love" that person.
littleCJelkton;1313555 wrote: 1.) Two people who have deep understanding for each other and care for each other and say I love you 20-80 times a day to each other
2.) Two people who have the same or better deep understanding and care for each other as the two above, but maybe only say I love you 0-2 times a day, but are satisfied with that because they don't need the constand verbal reassurance to let them know what kind of feelings they have for one another
I think that maybe the people in scenerio 1 not only love each other but the act of saying "I love you" be it your alone together at the house or out in public it gives feeling that other people hear it and that gives a somewhat reassuring sense that if other people know about your feelings for this person it makes them some what stronger.
Where as the people in scenerio 2 don't really care what everyone else thinks as long as they both know and understand their feelings for each other.
I am not saying one is better than the other, but saying I love you any amount of times, without feeling behind it and without understanding of what love is especially what it means for you and what ever person you are saying "I love you" to doesn't in anyway really do anything to greater solidfy the fact that you "love" that person.
I'm sorry but my reason for creating this thread was really to point out that life is so precious and incredibly fleeting. All I was really asking was ... Do we tell those that we hold dear that we really do love them?.
theezy;1313446 wrote: I tell my daughter "I love you" unprovoked about 10 or 15 times a day.. She does the same.. Lots of love in this house.
Same here. And although I don't think I told my older two children more then 20 times total as they were growing up, I now tell them at the end of every phone conversation.
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
pinkchick;1313597 wrote: I'm sorry but my reason for creating this thread was really to point out that life is so precious and incredibly fleeting. All I was really asking was ... Do we tell those that we hold dear that we really do love them?.
Yes, well as I am sorry for your friends father as I myself am a 21 year and growing survivor of brain cancer,my point is if that ones you hold really dear know you know you love them and you know they love you I dont think saying I love you will make a difference. I know that when I was in the hospital after having surgery I knew my mother, grandmother, father, ect.., held me really dear and that it would be devastating to them if I died, as it is for anyone who looses a loved one. I believe that that feeling of remorse from those who have to live with out that person in this world come from the fact that even though you said I love you to that person a billion times over you never fully understood what that love ment and if it was recipricated back, thus you wished you had done more to understand the love you had for that person and had taken more time to enjoy the love that person had for you.
hoppy;1317876 wrote: Those three words caused me lots of trouble in my barroom days.
The only way I know the words "I Love You" could get you in trouble is if you really didn't mean them. Being that the setting was a barroom I can only guess at what could cause a person to use the words "I Love You" with out meaning behind them.
littleCJelkton;1317948 wrote: The only way I know the words "I Love You" could get you in trouble is if you really didn't mean them. Being that the setting was a barroom I can only guess at what could cause a person to use the words "I Love You" with out meaning behind them.
Surely you heard the song "The girls all get prettier at closing time"? :guitarist
Surely you heard the song "The girls all get prettier at closing time"? :guitarist
maybe, but if I did I personally probably wouldn't make a habit out of that song especially since I do not consume alcoholic beverages. Though still I wouldn't stick by the meaning of the song as a way of life.
littleCJelkton;1318277 wrote: maybe, but if I did I personally probably wouldn't make a habit out of that song especially since I do not consume alcoholic beverages. Though still I wouldn't stick by the meaning of the song as a way of life.
Well, We're from different times, places and backgrounds.
The death of a loved one is a very remoersefull thing for anyone who has to endure living with out that loved one in the world, and I don't think that even if you both sat down for 4 hours every day you knew each other and chanted "I love you" it would make you feel any better righ now nor would it help any one else deal with the grief of a loved one. That grief I believe comes from not the in action of "I love you", but the inaction of love not to say you or anybody else didn't love those loved ones who died, but what we all wish we had done is loved them more then we had before they died. That thing that you didn't do that is killing you is not saying "I love you", it is that you were not able to convey the love part of "I love you" to that person enough before they died, as I have seen couples that when they lost a loved on are sad but content not remorsefull about the death the main reason is they had such a deep understanding of what their love ment and knew part of that love was to make their loved ones happy. That being said the one that died would not want his/her loved one sad and remorseful over his death, so the one that is still alived out of the love he/she has for the one that died is respectable and cherishes his/her loved one always but does not let grief or remorse eat away at him/her.
:-6
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