Hi-my name is Kris. I have 2 wonderful daughters; 2 and 4 months. The 2 year old is with someone other than my boyfriend but her father is not in her life and she's known my boyfriend "Stan" since she was 6 months old. She calls him daddy and everything. We started out with a wonderful relationship we got along great we never fought. Actually, we still don't. Kinda funny b/c he cheated on me. He is not one that has ever slept around-ever. He always makes sure he gets to know the person first and makes sure he has feelings for them...took us a while to become physical so I know this is true. My family didn't really accept him as a part of the family..he's a wonderful man and loves my daughter and I more than anything. We got pregnant after only dating 5 months-which is short, I know but we weighed our options and decided that we KNEW we wanted to always be together. So we have a beautiful 4 month old daughter as well.
The fact that my family never accepted him KILLS him as well as me but him more so. He became friends with a girl he met at work and they begun to hang out. More so than I thought...I never met her. Then the other day I find his camera with topless photos of her on it. I confront him and he says "I'll need to be brutally honest with you..." then tells me how they have had a "relationship" for about 2 months now. Sex only 5 times and most of the time it "wouldn't work" since he's not really like that (I know I know... what you're thinking) so they've more just hung out and had appetizers and a few beers. He went to dinner with her family they LOVE him...basically that is the ONE thing I've never been able to give him. It's really that important to him. Since confronting him, he says not as important as me and he's going to end it tonight. (yes, I just found out on Sunday-today is Tuesday). We are fighting for our lives here. I am trying to just let this go (I'm realistic and know it will take time). I'm also not blaming him as I know it takes 2 to ruin a relationship and I know that me picking my family and not standing up to them in the past really hurt him. I just don't know where I go from here. We both want to move forward and don't want to lie to ourselves or one another. I feel so hurt and numb and angry (at times...not directed anywhere really just angry) I'm sad and feeling desperate at times. I'm asking HIM to tell ME that we're fine and he's not leaving me. How irrational, right? I know he feels horrible and I'm not making it worse on him as he's not making it worse on me by playing the blame game. We are just trying to figure out how to move forward. How do we? How? It seems so odd--we forgive eachother for our discretions but it's like-then why can't we just be happy? is it just too soon? I'm so confused. I keep reading over the stages of grief and I have no idea which one I'm even in. Thanks for listening.
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
FB, this appears to be something you've found somewhere else and pasted here. I apologise if I'm wrong. If, however, you did find it written somewhere else or copied it from a book, could you post your source?
The author, if not you, deserves some credit/traffic.
The author, if not you, deserves some credit/traffic.
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
2bbgirls;964262 wrote: Hi-my name is Kris. I have 2 wonderful daughters; 2 and 4 months. The 2 year old is with someone other than my boyfriend but her father is not in her life and she's known my boyfriend "Stan" since she was 6 months old. She calls him daddy and everything. We started out with a wonderful relationship we got along great we never fought. Actually, we still don't. Kinda funny b/c he cheated on me. He is not one that has ever slept around-ever. He always makes sure he gets to know the person first and makes sure he has feelings for them...took us a while to become physical so I know this is true. My family didn't really accept him as a part of the family..he's a wonderful man and loves my daughter and I more than anything. We got pregnant after only dating 5 months-which is short, I know but we weighed our options and decided that we KNEW we wanted to always be together. So we have a beautiful 4 month old daughter as well.
The fact that my family never accepted him KILLS him as well as me but him more so. He became friends with a girl he met at work and they begun to hang out. More so than I thought...I never met her. Then the other day I find his camera with topless photos of her on it. I confront him and he says "I'll need to be brutally honest with you..." then tells me how they have had a "relationship" for about 2 months now. Sex only 5 times and most of the time it "wouldn't work" since he's not really like that (I know I know... what you're thinking) so they've more just hung out and had appetizers and a few beers. He went to dinner with her family they LOVE him...basically that is the ONE thing I've never been able to give him. It's really that important to him. Since confronting him, he says not as important as me and he's going to end it tonight. (yes, I just found out on Sunday-today is Tuesday). We are fighting for our lives here. I am trying to just let this go (I'm realistic and know it will take time). I'm also not blaming him as I know it takes 2 to ruin a relationship and I know that me picking my family and not standing up to them in the past really hurt him. I just don't know where I go from here. We both want to move forward and don't want to lie to ourselves or one another. I feel so hurt and numb and angry (at times...not directed anywhere really just angry) I'm sad and feeling desperate at times. I'm asking HIM to tell ME that we're fine and he's not leaving me. How irrational, right? I know he feels horrible and I'm not making it worse on him as he's not making it worse on me by playing the blame game. We are just trying to figure out how to move forward. How do we? How? It seems so odd--we forgive eachother for our discretions but it's like-then why can't we just be happy? is it just too soon? I'm so confused. I keep reading over the stages of grief and I have no idea which one I'm even in. Thanks for listening.
Hi Kris, I'm Shel. First let me tell you that me and my hubby have both had affairs. The last one was hubby's, I found out at Christmas time. I ripped into him to get the anger out. There are many stages a person goes thru when they've been hurt all the way to the soul...some people go thru all the steps, and others don't.
It's easy to say you forgive, but you must look deep inside yourself to see if that's true. Definately try the journaling...I know it really helped me a lot! It sounds to me that you are in the denial stage. I know it helped me whenever I got feeling sad, betrayed and insecure, I would talk to him about it more and ask him questions that had been racing thru my mind. It is a HUGE deal and you can't just dismiss it and pretend you're not affected by it.
Ask him questions, but be careful what you ask cuz sometimes, cuz sometimes getting all the details hurts so much. You have to let go with your feelings...put them all on the table and discuss them with him...you HAVE that right. You are the victim so don't keep pretending, if you don't get it all out it will just fester inside you until you resent him so much that you can't even look at him.
I've recently had some conversations over e-mail with the woman he cheated with, we've come to realize how alike we are and how much we have in common. Talking to her i feel much safer in my relationship, she is totally gaga over this other guy that I happen to know. It's helped me to trust him again and took a lot of insecurities away. She promised she would tell me if they ever had contact of any kind. We are becoming very good friends. I know this might sound very weird and unthinkable to most people, but that doesn't matter to me. I say whatever works for a person is what they should do. I hope you can be open andget passed this denial faze. Don't keep pretending...you deserve more than you're getting and only time will heal the wounds and bring back the trust. Take it slow hun...you have a lot of decisions to make...don't rush them.:-4:yh_hugs
The fact that my family never accepted him KILLS him as well as me but him more so. He became friends with a girl he met at work and they begun to hang out. More so than I thought...I never met her. Then the other day I find his camera with topless photos of her on it. I confront him and he says "I'll need to be brutally honest with you..." then tells me how they have had a "relationship" for about 2 months now. Sex only 5 times and most of the time it "wouldn't work" since he's not really like that (I know I know... what you're thinking) so they've more just hung out and had appetizers and a few beers. He went to dinner with her family they LOVE him...basically that is the ONE thing I've never been able to give him. It's really that important to him. Since confronting him, he says not as important as me and he's going to end it tonight. (yes, I just found out on Sunday-today is Tuesday). We are fighting for our lives here. I am trying to just let this go (I'm realistic and know it will take time). I'm also not blaming him as I know it takes 2 to ruin a relationship and I know that me picking my family and not standing up to them in the past really hurt him. I just don't know where I go from here. We both want to move forward and don't want to lie to ourselves or one another. I feel so hurt and numb and angry (at times...not directed anywhere really just angry) I'm sad and feeling desperate at times. I'm asking HIM to tell ME that we're fine and he's not leaving me. How irrational, right? I know he feels horrible and I'm not making it worse on him as he's not making it worse on me by playing the blame game. We are just trying to figure out how to move forward. How do we? How? It seems so odd--we forgive eachother for our discretions but it's like-then why can't we just be happy? is it just too soon? I'm so confused. I keep reading over the stages of grief and I have no idea which one I'm even in. Thanks for listening.
Hi Kris, I'm Shel. First let me tell you that me and my hubby have both had affairs. The last one was hubby's, I found out at Christmas time. I ripped into him to get the anger out. There are many stages a person goes thru when they've been hurt all the way to the soul...some people go thru all the steps, and others don't.
It's easy to say you forgive, but you must look deep inside yourself to see if that's true. Definately try the journaling...I know it really helped me a lot! It sounds to me that you are in the denial stage. I know it helped me whenever I got feeling sad, betrayed and insecure, I would talk to him about it more and ask him questions that had been racing thru my mind. It is a HUGE deal and you can't just dismiss it and pretend you're not affected by it.
Ask him questions, but be careful what you ask cuz sometimes, cuz sometimes getting all the details hurts so much. You have to let go with your feelings...put them all on the table and discuss them with him...you HAVE that right. You are the victim so don't keep pretending, if you don't get it all out it will just fester inside you until you resent him so much that you can't even look at him.
I've recently had some conversations over e-mail with the woman he cheated with, we've come to realize how alike we are and how much we have in common. Talking to her i feel much safer in my relationship, she is totally gaga over this other guy that I happen to know. It's helped me to trust him again and took a lot of insecurities away. She promised she would tell me if they ever had contact of any kind. We are becoming very good friends. I know this might sound very weird and unthinkable to most people, but that doesn't matter to me. I say whatever works for a person is what they should do. I hope you can be open andget passed this denial faze. Don't keep pretending...you deserve more than you're getting and only time will heal the wounds and bring back the trust. Take it slow hun...you have a lot of decisions to make...don't rush them.:-4:yh_hugs
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
This is great fuzzy...I'm sure there are plenty of people around here that need to read this.
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
fuzzy butt;965462 wrote: Sorry Koan it's from a internet Mag I used to be subscribed to during the councelling studies. Ummmm it comes from the Australian Institute of professional councellors. I get these things sent to me but I'm not sure who writes them up ......sorry. I started a few threads like this ................just trying to help tis all.
Thanks Fuzzy Butt. Here's the link to the original article.
http://www.aipc.net.au/articles/Relatio ... delity.php
We just want to make sure we give credit where credit is due.
You are welcome to copy, forward, republish, reproduce and redistribute our articles to anyone. However, if you are going to execute any of the previously mentioned actions, we would highly appreciate if you recognise the authors by including the following footnote, and by not changing the content (if you have a good reason to change it, you may contact us for approval).
© Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. If you wish to republish or reproduce this article, please include this information in the end of the article. For more information about the Institute – please visit www.aipc.net.au/lz. To access our Article Library, visit www.aipc.net.au/articles.
This is okay to post in full, but it just needs this part added to it.
Carry on.
Thanks Fuzzy Butt. Here's the link to the original article.
http://www.aipc.net.au/articles/Relatio ... delity.php
We just want to make sure we give credit where credit is due.
You are welcome to copy, forward, republish, reproduce and redistribute our articles to anyone. However, if you are going to execute any of the previously mentioned actions, we would highly appreciate if you recognise the authors by including the following footnote, and by not changing the content (if you have a good reason to change it, you may contact us for approval).
© Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. If you wish to republish or reproduce this article, please include this information in the end of the article. For more information about the Institute – please visit www.aipc.net.au/lz. To access our Article Library, visit www.aipc.net.au/articles.
This is okay to post in full, but it just needs this part added to it.
Carry on.
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Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
Thanks Shel....I had a really rough day the day i posted this. Oddly enough that is the only rough day I've had. I think it's great you and your husband have worked it out. I was unfaithful in my last relationship-that's why I am being so understanding (though I only did it once...not over a period of 2 months.) ...that's why I'm not making him feel like the big piece of sh** he already does..yes I tell him all of my feelings (good and bad) when they pop up...I want honesty and openness..that's all I've ever asked of him. On the other end of that spectrum I am also like "oh I guess what goes around comes around." My ex told me "i hope some day someone does this to you and you know how it feels." Little did he know I've been cheated on before many times. "Stan" is just different. He IS the love of my life....truly. We have been trying to just focus on the future and not dwell on it...we're trying to get back to "us." It's still difficult and has only been about a week since I found out...but I'm trying my damn hardest. here's a letter I wrote to him...started out as a "journal" but I decided to share it with him...I guess you'd call it the barganing stage?
I can't stop it from hurting today. I have a blank look on my face all day today. I'm so shattered. Do you feel it? I'm broken...we're broken. I guess in your eyes we have been for months though. I can't say sorry enough for my part in all of this. All I want is you. I know I can work this out with you b/c of that fact. I've never not wanted you. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. YOU. Right now I have a tornado of emotions that travel my body. I'm sad, angry, hurt, depressed, hollow, numb, confused, betrayed and lost.
When I look at you I know that is where I'm supposed to be. I try not to think about what has happened in our relationship. I try not to. I try. I have so much love in my being for you. I've never wanted anything or anyone more. I want to fight for us but I don't want to fight a losing battle. I want you to concentrate on your job- I truly do. I want you to do good at work I want you to move us far far away from here. I want you to---No I NEED you to get past my family and their bullsh**. I need you to hold on to me (figuratively) and not look back but look toward our future.
I get crazy at times I get INSANE. I call you and ask you to tell me you love me and you say it. We hang up and I call right back again. I'm sorry that it frustrates you but you know what? I deserve it. I deserve for you to treat me like a princess-like you used to. Without all of the frustration from you. Without any question, I just need it-I deserve it. You owe it to me. How could you not be on your hands and knees each and every day begging for me? I know I would, I know I HAVE! I DESERVE IT! I know we're different in our needs but this is MY need and I think it's owed to me. I don't think it's too much to ask. You know why you're not constantly insecure? You know why you only need reassurance every so often? Because I freely give it without you asking-because I want to make you know that I need you. Know that I LOVE YOU. Those are not just words-those are me. Not how I feel about you...they are ME. I=Love ; Love=you. (sorry there is a lot of that tornado of anger coming out in this paragraph).
I do get angry that I am STILL chasing you. I'm doing it. I am. I'll chase you until you tell me to stop ...till you tell me to go away. I hope you never do because I don't want to stop. It would be nice to be chased or even to just meet up in the middle for a nice drink. No chasing, no anything...just being. Just relaxing and being together..on BOTH our ends.
I know I've hurt you--or my family has and I've not helped. You've hurt me too and we can sit here and play the blame game or we can say "fu** it" I LOVE YOU and I'm willing to murder, lie, steal (not lie to eachother) to be together. Why do you have such power over my emotions? Why do you have this over me? This is true love--what I have for you. I know it is. I know it. I want it. I want to hold on to it. I need you to hold on to it too. I know you love me-I know you want me. I know you want us. I know you want it to all work. so let's make it all work, "Stan". There comes a point when two people love each other just say "enough" and just BE. Just be together. Forget the past, let's look forward to our future. No more lies, no more not holding the other to the standard they need to be held at. I'm #1 you're #1. That's it.
We have a beautiful family. We can't destroy everything we've accomplished. We can't destroy everything we CAN be. We can be GREAT. We can (neither of us) not say we would not be absolutely miserable without the other for the rest of our lives...that's a long time. Shouldn't it be spent together? I thinks so.
Time will heal all of our wounds. Let's just promise to not make anymore that are so deep. Let's promise to allow one another that time. Not get impatient. Not get frustrated. Be patient and I promise you the BEST thing in both our lives will flourish and grow into something wonderful.
I love you "STAN"
Kris
I can't stop it from hurting today. I have a blank look on my face all day today. I'm so shattered. Do you feel it? I'm broken...we're broken. I guess in your eyes we have been for months though. I can't say sorry enough for my part in all of this. All I want is you. I know I can work this out with you b/c of that fact. I've never not wanted you. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. YOU. Right now I have a tornado of emotions that travel my body. I'm sad, angry, hurt, depressed, hollow, numb, confused, betrayed and lost.
When I look at you I know that is where I'm supposed to be. I try not to think about what has happened in our relationship. I try not to. I try. I have so much love in my being for you. I've never wanted anything or anyone more. I want to fight for us but I don't want to fight a losing battle. I want you to concentrate on your job- I truly do. I want you to do good at work I want you to move us far far away from here. I want you to---No I NEED you to get past my family and their bullsh**. I need you to hold on to me (figuratively) and not look back but look toward our future.
I get crazy at times I get INSANE. I call you and ask you to tell me you love me and you say it. We hang up and I call right back again. I'm sorry that it frustrates you but you know what? I deserve it. I deserve for you to treat me like a princess-like you used to. Without all of the frustration from you. Without any question, I just need it-I deserve it. You owe it to me. How could you not be on your hands and knees each and every day begging for me? I know I would, I know I HAVE! I DESERVE IT! I know we're different in our needs but this is MY need and I think it's owed to me. I don't think it's too much to ask. You know why you're not constantly insecure? You know why you only need reassurance every so often? Because I freely give it without you asking-because I want to make you know that I need you. Know that I LOVE YOU. Those are not just words-those are me. Not how I feel about you...they are ME. I=Love ; Love=you. (sorry there is a lot of that tornado of anger coming out in this paragraph).
I do get angry that I am STILL chasing you. I'm doing it. I am. I'll chase you until you tell me to stop ...till you tell me to go away. I hope you never do because I don't want to stop. It would be nice to be chased or even to just meet up in the middle for a nice drink. No chasing, no anything...just being. Just relaxing and being together..on BOTH our ends.
I know I've hurt you--or my family has and I've not helped. You've hurt me too and we can sit here and play the blame game or we can say "fu** it" I LOVE YOU and I'm willing to murder, lie, steal (not lie to eachother) to be together. Why do you have such power over my emotions? Why do you have this over me? This is true love--what I have for you. I know it is. I know it. I want it. I want to hold on to it. I need you to hold on to it too. I know you love me-I know you want me. I know you want us. I know you want it to all work. so let's make it all work, "Stan". There comes a point when two people love each other just say "enough" and just BE. Just be together. Forget the past, let's look forward to our future. No more lies, no more not holding the other to the standard they need to be held at. I'm #1 you're #1. That's it.
We have a beautiful family. We can't destroy everything we've accomplished. We can't destroy everything we CAN be. We can be GREAT. We can (neither of us) not say we would not be absolutely miserable without the other for the rest of our lives...that's a long time. Shouldn't it be spent together? I thinks so.
Time will heal all of our wounds. Let's just promise to not make anymore that are so deep. Let's promise to allow one another that time. Not get impatient. Not get frustrated. Be patient and I promise you the BEST thing in both our lives will flourish and grow into something wonderful.
I love you "STAN"
Kris
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
I've said it before, I'll say it again... I don't know how you folks do it. There is no way in the world I have ever loved any man enough to put up with what you put up with. There would be no trust left to be rebuilt with me... not a chance in the world. I might still love the guy, but no way would I give him another shot..
I'm gonna disagree with just a little of what shelbell says to you. You don't need the details... IMHO those details will contain fantasy emotions and memories.. it's always more fun and more romantic and more accepting with the person that doesn't have to wipe the toilet seat because he whizzed on it again.. if you insist on hearing how loving and accepting she was of him... remind yourself that he never hacked a loogie in her shower and left it for her to clean up.. :wah: see how accepting she'd be then..
I also like to think that shel has had an exceptional opportunity handed to her that most women don't. The 'other woman' won't normally concern herself with the 'happily ever after' of the man that left her behind or the woman he ultimately chose to stay with and love. Most 'other women' prefer to see themselves as the wronged rather then a contributor...
Me? I've never claimed to be perfect. I guess it's a good thing that I'm not one of those who has ever thrown the first stone, eh shel?
GAGA?? Ya think?:rolleyes::D:wah:
I'm gonna disagree with just a little of what shelbell says to you. You don't need the details... IMHO those details will contain fantasy emotions and memories.. it's always more fun and more romantic and more accepting with the person that doesn't have to wipe the toilet seat because he whizzed on it again.. if you insist on hearing how loving and accepting she was of him... remind yourself that he never hacked a loogie in her shower and left it for her to clean up.. :wah: see how accepting she'd be then..
I also like to think that shel has had an exceptional opportunity handed to her that most women don't. The 'other woman' won't normally concern herself with the 'happily ever after' of the man that left her behind or the woman he ultimately chose to stay with and love. Most 'other women' prefer to see themselves as the wronged rather then a contributor...
Me? I've never claimed to be perfect. I guess it's a good thing that I'm not one of those who has ever thrown the first stone, eh shel?
GAGA?? Ya think?:rolleyes::D:wah:
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have raised my hand here... but I don't ever want shel to feel she needs to be careful of putting herself out there because she may embarrass me in the process..
#1. I don't embarrass..
#2. Whatever it takes...... I've committed those two to dying hand in hand in their 90's... so I no longer feel guilt...:-4
#1. I don't embarrass..
#2. Whatever it takes...... I've committed those two to dying hand in hand in their 90's... so I no longer feel guilt...:-4
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
2bbgirls...pretty intense letter. The only advice I have for you is to slow down. Nothing can be fixed in a week. Don't force it. Don't be clingy to him cuz that will make him draw back from you and he'll lose respect for you cuz of the almost begging you're doing, and will probably think he can do it again because you were so forgiving from the start. Just my opinion.
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
flopstock;967253 wrote: I've said it before, I'll say it again... I don't know how you folks do it. There is no way in the world I have ever loved any man enough to put up with what you put up with. There would be no trust left to be rebuilt with me... not a chance in the world. I might still love the guy, but no way would I give him another shot..
I'm gonna disagree with just a little of what shelbell says to you. You don't need the details... IMHO those details will contain fantasy emotions and memories.. it's always more fun and more romantic and more accepting with the person that doesn't have to wipe the toilet seat because he whizzed on it again.. if you insist on hearing how loving and accepting she was of him... remind yourself that he never hacked a loogie in her shower and left it for her to clean up.. :wah: see how accepting she'd be then..
I also like to think that shel has had an exceptional opportunity handed to her that most women don't. The 'other woman' won't normally concern herself with the 'happily ever after' of the man that left her behind or the woman he ultimately chose to stay with and love. Most 'other women' prefer to see themselves as the wronged rather then a contributor...
Me? I've never claimed to be perfect. I guess it's a good thing that I'm not one of those who has ever thrown the first stone, eh shel?
GAGA?? Ya think?:rolleyes::D:wah:
You are so weird floppy. :wah: Re-read what I had written her, I told her to be careful of what she asks cuz sometimes the answer will just cause more pain. I wouldn't want all the intimate info, that would hurt too much.
I'm gonna disagree with just a little of what shelbell says to you. You don't need the details... IMHO those details will contain fantasy emotions and memories.. it's always more fun and more romantic and more accepting with the person that doesn't have to wipe the toilet seat because he whizzed on it again.. if you insist on hearing how loving and accepting she was of him... remind yourself that he never hacked a loogie in her shower and left it for her to clean up.. :wah: see how accepting she'd be then..
I also like to think that shel has had an exceptional opportunity handed to her that most women don't. The 'other woman' won't normally concern herself with the 'happily ever after' of the man that left her behind or the woman he ultimately chose to stay with and love. Most 'other women' prefer to see themselves as the wronged rather then a contributor...
Me? I've never claimed to be perfect. I guess it's a good thing that I'm not one of those who has ever thrown the first stone, eh shel?
GAGA?? Ya think?:rolleyes::D:wah:
You are so weird floppy. :wah: Re-read what I had written her, I told her to be careful of what she asks cuz sometimes the answer will just cause more pain. I wouldn't want all the intimate info, that would hurt too much.
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
flopstock;967263 wrote: Okay, maybe I shouldn't have raised my hand here... but I don't ever want shel to feel she needs to be careful of putting herself out there because she may embarrass me in the process..
#1. I don't embarrass..
#2. Whatever it takes...... I've committed those two to dying hand in hand in their 90's... so I no longer feel guilt...:-4
#1. I don't embarrass either.
#2. I'm not quite sure about what you're saying.
:-3:-2
#1. I don't embarrass..
#2. Whatever it takes...... I've committed those two to dying hand in hand in their 90's... so I no longer feel guilt...:-4
#1. I don't embarrass either.
#2. I'm not quite sure about what you're saying.
:-3:-2Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
shelbell;967299 wrote: #1. I don't embarrass either.
#2. I'm not quite sure about what you're saying.:-3:-2
In my own mind, a mere blip on the screen.. of a long and loving relationship:-6
#2. I'm not quite sure about what you're saying.
:-3:-2In my own mind, a mere blip on the screen.. of a long and loving relationship:-6
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
flopstock;967304 wrote: In my own mind, a mere blip on the screen.. of a long and loving relationship:-6
Well that makes more sense now. :wah:
Well that makes more sense now. :wah:
Infidelity ..............how to cope, what to do.
Thank you everyone. Well as you all know this past weekend was labor day weekend. We spent the whole thing together. I would ask questions when they came up and he would answer fully without getting annoyed (which is a good sign to me..annoyance=guilt.) We did not fight once and I feel more connected to him then I have in a while. We even got to go out on Sunday night by ourselves (with friends..no children) and we went to a bar that he and she went to a few times and we were noticed by a bartender friend of hers. (Whom informed the other girl that we were out as my boyfriend received a nasty text message from her.) I guess the fact (and I feel like the other woman posting this part...odd.) that he was "seen in public with me" makes me feel like he REALLY IS trying to do good by us.
All in all...I know it's going to take a while for me to fully heal. I do not want any of the details...I've told him that before. It makes her and the situation more real if that makes any sense...I know it happened but I don't need to know where-how etc.
I never thought I'd be able to forgive anyone if they ever cheated on me...but I truly do love him and I know he does love me too. So I am willing to work on it.
Anyway-thanks for responding.
All in all...I know it's going to take a while for me to fully heal. I do not want any of the details...I've told him that before. It makes her and the situation more real if that makes any sense...I know it happened but I don't need to know where-how etc.
I never thought I'd be able to forgive anyone if they ever cheated on me...but I truly do love him and I know he does love me too. So I am willing to work on it.
Anyway-thanks for responding.